Never Forget
by justsomeone2010
Summary: Sequel to Mermaid. Summer is on Earth with Thor's baby, torn between building a life for herself and waiting for Loki. While more events unfold to tear the royal family further apart, Loki turns to darker plans to bring his beloved back, plotting his vengence against those who wronged him along the way. Set during the Thor movie. Lyrics from Never Forget by Jonsi and Greta Salome.
1. Chapter 1

"_She's singing softly in the night  
Praying for the morning light…"_

**Chapter 1**

Loki stormed into the Great Hall, the messengers words still hanging in his head echoingly: _she's gone into labour._ Eyes pivoted to the frantic god as he practically ran to the throne of his father, bypassing his surly brother without so much as a glance. His mother stood at Odin's side, a look of equal anxiety on her face as Loki felt in his heart.

"How long?" he demanded, eyes flickering between his two parents. His heart pounded in his chest, the frustration of not knowing such vital information driving him insane: "How long?!"

Frigga's orbs flickered to her husband before she answered. "A few hours that we have known. As to before Heimdall saw her… well, there's no way of knowing for sure."

Loki drank in the words and let his eyes close. A few hours… was that good or bad? He didn't know. All he knew was that those hours he'd spent hidden in the library, making the message delayed in reaching him, were the most loathed hours he'd ever spent in his life.

His hands reached up to tear through his hair. "But she's only seven months. Barely. She shouldn't be due yet…"

"The Asgardian in the baby is speeding up the process. Our metabolism rate is faster than that of a mortal." His mother explained with flawless expertise. Loki was never more grateful for his mother's caring nature, even extending to research the possible implications of their predicament. He didn't dare think of if she hadn't. "The baby will be ready, but Summer's body will be strained."

That sentence alone snapped Loki back to focus and his eyes shot open, wide. _Summer…_ "Take me down there." He demanded in a heartbeat. "I'll not have her do this alone."

Thor finally spoke up from his corner, face dark and eyes glaring. "You should not care so." He growled, his arms folded stiffly over his chest. Anger and violent strength simply radiated from him, and Loki sensed that the training room would get a thorough beating when this was over. "We've put her out of our lives."

Loki's teeth bared in a shameless flare of anger. The bastard, he thought. His temper was already on edge; it wouldn't take much to push him over.

His father beat him to it: "If you had a morsel of decency and self-restraint we would not be here." Odin said bitterly from his throne, cold eyes finally snapping to the present at his eldest. "As it is, this is our grandchild being born and because of you we must only know them from afar."

Eyes shot to the king in shock, none of them hardly believing that such harsh, cold words had left Odin's mouth. Especially to his favourite, prized son. Not that Loki disapproved of them! Thor's undoubtable rage was broken with shock. Although, Loki swore he could hear the distant clap of thunder outside.

"Where is she?" Loki pushed aside, urgency fighting to the surface again. Every second he delayed…

His heart hammered anxiously in his chest at the dark, begrudging look in his father's eye, and the flurrying worry in his mothers. "She's in a field." Frigga finally told him. "On her own." Her shoulders shrugged at Loki's confused expression. "She watches the stars at night."

"A habit of hers." Thor cut in curtly, drawing Loki's attention suspiciously. _How did he know this?_, Loki wondered in his head darkly, keenly aware that his information seemed to be news only to him. So they were deliberately keeping him out of the loop, Loki reasoned. The God of Thunder found an interesting spot on the wall to glare at in the meantime, thick with bitterness: "Careless for her condition-"

"How could she have known she'd go into labour at seven months?" Loki hissed. "Even we were caught unprepared!"

Still, a part of him glimmered inside – the stars ...Summer was waiting for him. Loki was no fool. He could see her in his mind, lying on a blanket over the grassy field, eyes light, dreaming and hopeful for when she would see him again.

Where was she then?, he wondered. Summer had said she'd come from a port, from the coast – far from where Loki could imagine a field to be! Hope fluttered in his chest that she'd got away from her troubled, violent past and he prayed that it was true. He'd been granted precious little information of her in the last five months. And by that, he meant none.

"She has no aid." His mother said in an almost pleading voice, making Loki think it was directed at his father. Odin's brow was furrowed in troubled thought.

Loki's heart fell at his mother's words. "You have to send me down." He breathed in horror. On her own… the rage flooded back into his system in a rush and he closed the gap between him and Odin in long strides. "She's in danger, and she's alone, and you would just_ leave her?"_

"And if I send you down, what then?" Odin snapped back, rising to meet Loki's hard eye. "You can deliver a child, can you? Sending you down would only rekindle your feelings for her before you would have to separate for a second time."

"Then send mother down!" Loki fired without hesitation. "Or just _bring her back_!" The plea couldn't be guarded from his voice, but he didn't care anymore. "No one need know the truth. The child could be another mans – mine even! – if that would save Thor's precious reputation. Anything-"

"Why do you insist on tormenting us so? The truth always rises to the surface eventually. We could not hide it forever."

"Just do _something_!" Loki begged, grasping his father's shoulder in appeal. "If not me then send down mother. You can't leave her there alone. What if something happens – what if she _dies_?!"

"Then perhaps you can move on from this obsession at last!"

"If you do this then you may as well have just killed her the day you banished her!" Loki yelled, eyes pricking with helplessness. His voice echoed around the Hall, drilling into the bones of every person within it. Even himself. His rage froze into dread at what he'd just said, and his voice came out no louder than a whisper: "It's as good as a death sentence."

Silence.

Loki could hear his heart hammering in his chest and felt despair cling tight. This could not be happening; how could his whole life have spun around from just one woman?

And she was just being left. Forsaken, when she needed their help the most. Loki felt disgusted, but the thought of Summer suffering, of the life being taken from her as she struggled to give birth to her unwanted child… it was just hollowing. He couldn't imagine it, he couldn't.

She couldn't _die_. Loki's breath hitched at the thought.

Frigga's hand touched on her husband's shoulder delicately, the mighty All Father flinching at such a tender touch after such tense air. His wife's eyes were gleaming. "You cannot just leave her." Her soft voice implored. "It was coming to our care that put her in this situation. We cannot abandon her. She needs help."

Gods bless his mother, Loki thought, almost wanting to weep with gratitude as his father's harsh attitude so noticeably changed at his wife's influence. Frigga could always make him see reason. His eyes softened, and he listened.

"She needs help through this." Frigga insisted delicately.

Odin took a deep breath, as if inhaling his wife's wisdom about the subject. He must listen to her, Loki thought. Frigga was the goddess of child birth – what she said was concrete truth. If she said Summer needed help, then she needed help, and not even the All Father wanted the death of an innocent mortal woman on his hands. Especially the one bearing his first grandchild.

Odin finally sighed and his hand lifted to his shoulder, taking up his wife's fingers in his. "I will not let you go." He said softly to Frigga, making Loki's heart scream with defeat. But then his father's eyes lower to Loki's: "But I will allow someone."

Loki was sure his health would suffer at the rush of emotions that had crashed within him thus far, his heart stopping one minute and raging to hopeful life the next. The eager beam spread on his face uncontrollably, despite the terse situation down on earth.

"Your mother is to stay here." Odin went on sternly, laying down the conditions of his agreement. "As are you." He added firmly.

His eyes then flickered warily to his eldest, still stood with his arms well crossed over his chest, eyes dark and irritated. Loki followed his father's gaze to his brother, and drank over the furious God of Thunder. Did the man care that he was going to be a father in a few hours' time? That he had given a being new life? Probably not. Summer was suffering because of him, but all he cared about was his own selfish pride.

"Not you." Loki spilled defiantly. God only knew what Thor might do to her. The possibilities were limitless in Loki's mind since he'd discovered his brother was so brutal, so relentless. His eyes flickered to Odin. "You can't send him."

Thor's eyes blazed angrily, flickering to Loki with disgust written all over his face. "Of course not me, you _fool_-"

"I would not dare send him after what he has done." Odin assured darkly, casting a disapproving eye to his eldest, who returned it with equal measure. "I would not send any man to do a task such as this. It is not proper." His eyes flickered between his two sons. "A woman may go. Your mother will brief them on what must be done, but only one woman may descend. Is that understood?"

A woman… Loki's head ran for a face. If not his mother, his thoughts flew instantly to servants, but he couldn't ignore the claw of unease in his belly. This was of such vital importance – how could he leave it to a servant who he didn't even know? No, he needed someone he could trust.

But who? Loki was a warrior, a man. His closest companions were all men that met him in the sparring rings or training room.

_Except…_

Then his eyes lit up, and he had his answer.

xxx

The sky glittered mercilessly as fire ran through Summer's veins, igniting her pain to every inch of her body.

_Oh God, _she thought, _why now? Why two months early?_

She lay flat on her back on the blanket that separated her from the grass, writhing with the contractions that wracked her. Her hands clawed at her clenching belly as if she could dampen the pain. She knew what was happening – but how could it be happening so soon?! She hadn't even attended a birth class yet!

Panic fringed in the backs of her mind, but it was pushed out by the pain. Her eyes were wide, her mouth whimpering helplessly at what she knew must be happening to her.

Seven months, for Heaven's sake! How could this be happening? This wasn't right. Her heart thudded madly in her chest so fast she thought she might have a heart attack, brain not able to think more than pained inner screams.

_Oh God_. Tears streaked down her face uncontrollably, the sight of the dark sky filling her vision, but granting her little comfort. _Loki!_

Then the clouds swirled out of nowhere and her heart skipped a beat.

Her body froze were it lay – clouds didn't form that quickly. Not naturally. Her lips stayed ghostly parted but now only barely-there breaths joined the warm summer air. It couldn't be, she thought. He couldn't be-

A thud that rippled the ground silenced her thoughts, Summer's heart pounding with hope. Above, the clouds vanished almost as fast as they'd appeared. She held her breath, wanting nothing to disturb the silence as she listened, slow, staggering footsteps driving her heart into overdrive. Someone was here. _Someone._

"Oh gods." Knees skidded beside Summer, and fingers scrambled to grasp her hand at her belly. Summer's heart plummeted: it wasn't Loki. "Please say I'm not too late."

Summer stared wide eyed up into the face of a woman, her long black hair tied back in a ponytail at the back of her head. She was undoubtedly Asgardian. She wore no dress, but well-fitting armour and leather trousers. Summer's face fell unmistakably.

The breath left her in a disappointed rush.

The woman's eyes were sharp and focused as they ran observantly over Summer's form, before settling on her face. Summer could see the hard determination there, but her anxiety was more that obvious – emphasised by the woman's unmistakable gulp.

"Miss Summer, my name is Sif." She said, her voice low and urgent. "My Queen has given me instructions to help you."

_Her Queen… Frigga._ Summer felt like smiling with relief, but her face muscles wouldn't work the way she wanted them to. Still, she couldn't deny the flood of happy warmth inside her: they hadn't forgotten her after all. Her fingers gripped back at Sif's as her mind was sharply drawn back to the pain in her body. The gasping whimper was torn from her throat.

A dark glint crossed Sif's orbs, one that stilled Summer's breath all over again despite the clenching in her belly. The woman leaned down, and put her lips beside Summer's ear. "But more importantly," she breathed. "I come bearing a message from Loki."


	2. Chapter 2

"_She dreams of how they used to be_  
_At dawn they will be free..."_

**Chapter 2**

_A boy…_ Summer had had a baby boy.

It ran through Loki's mind as he sat brooding in the bare empty room that had once been full of gifts to Summer. Odin had had it cleared within the week after her banishment. Loki could remember the place of every item; each sculpture, each cabinet, each instrument.

He'd salvaged as much as he could. The books he'd hoarded to his room, filling them onto shelves that ran along his walls endlessly. He'd labelled it 'Summer's Library'. The sculptures had been destroyed and the musical instruments removed, too large and exquisite not to go unnoticed if Loki had swiped them. So much had gone, things that had been demonstrations of love for Agsard's precious mermaid.

Loki's fingers traced the space between his collar bones, feeling the small lump of metal beneath his clothes. He felt the familiar shape of the mermaid necklace comfortingly.

He couldn't bear to let that go. It wasn't just a gift to him; it was more personal than that. That was the necklace that had finally swung Summer's affections to him from his brother.

It was the necklace and the notes that kept him going. The love notes Summer had received from the Asgardian male citizens. He read them every night. Scouring the adoring words kept him going, reminded him that while her name was a taboo in the palace now, she was not unloved. They kept his purpose fresh in his mind: it was Odin and Thor's misdeeds that had led to this. Only theirs.

Reluctantly, he tore himself from his seat and rose to his feet with an aching slowness. He was needed. He trudged heavily from the room, his hand falling from the base of his neck. If he was caught with the necklace, it would be taken from him. He wouldn't risk that for the world.

The door closed with an ominous click and his misery descended heavily. He still struggled to come to terms with how this tragedy had come about. And yet, always lurking at the back of his mind was a dark resentment for the two that had caused it.

He was so lost in his own thoughts he didn't hear the loud footsteps behind him; only a hand clapping heavily down on the gods back brought him back to his senses.

"This is a good day brother!" Thor beamed, joining his brother's side as Loki turned away from the door, a grim look on his face. "Today, everything will be made right again. The world is as it should be."

Loki's jaw gritted. It took all of his strength not to punch the God of Thunder unconscious as Thor grinned at him obliviously, waiting for Loki to congratulate him, to support him. _The same way he supported me_, he thought bitterly in his head, bringing the events of months ago, of the week just gone, back to the surface of his mind.

Thor's selfishness never failed to astonish him, Loki thought as he lifted his guarded eyes to Thor's beaming smile. Of course, he's happy. Never mind the abandoned son he had worlds apart, Thor was getting what he wanted - a kingdom.

_It wasn't fair_, Loki scoffed in his head, letting Thor's arm wind around his shoulders and lead him forward down the corridor. Thor had raped and impregnated an innocent mortal, and his reprimand was to gain everything he ever wanted, obstacle free. It was like with the birth of the child, Thor could sweep Summer and his son under the carpet as if they'd never existed.

And that's exactly how it was treated. Talk of Summer had ceased. Information of her condition was scarce. Odin was slowly having the maiden carved from their lives.

And the boy... would he ever know the truth? Would he know the evil nature of his father, know the cruelty with which he was so cast away? They didn't even know his name. That burned Loki. Thor wouldn't even acknowledge his son enough to know his name.

Something stabbed at his heart whenever he thought of Summer and her baby, but it wasn't in anger – it was in heart-breaking sadness.

The child wasn't to blame. While it was half Thor, it was also half Summer, and Loki had no doubt that separated from his father's influence the goodness of Summer's essence in his would shine through. It wasn't his fault. He'd had no choice.

Thor on the other hand…he had such a close relationship with Odin, Loki was amazed he was willing to throw this new father-son bond away so easily.

Loki wisely kept his mouth shut. There was no way he could talk about such things without letting loose the reins on his fury, and for now, subtlety was to be his key. If Thor thought everything was well it would only make the shock cut deeper when the right time came, and Loki let his lips curve in an eager grin.

Thor was blind to the dark glint to it, seeing only praise for his accomplishments. _The idiot_, Loki cursed in his mind, _he would get what's coming to him._

The fury had set into his bones as soon as Sif had returned with the news of a son, new worries plaguing Loki's mind. Summer was being drowned out of his life for good. Loki was no idiot. It was hoped he would just forget her, that his concern for her wellbeing the only thing that had kept her in his thoughts and now that that had passed it would fade.

Oh, how wrong they were…

Loki fixed a smile on his face, concealing the venomous hatred he held for his arrogant brother beside him. Thor beamed back, ignorant of the murderous thoughts coursing through Loki's head.

Loki slapped a hand down on Thor's back. "Congratulations brother." he said, "You deserve everything you get."

XXX

"The Jotuns must pay for what they've done."

The god was deliciously outraged. His coronation interrupted, his crown so in reach he could almost taste it before it was ripped away from him. Loki knew it must sting. Thor had been waiting for this for a long time. _Good_, Loki thought bitterly in his head as he watched his father and brother negotiate. _Let him suffer._

He stood back as Thor raged with his father, Odin calm and satisfied as they observed the battle strewn weapons vault around them. He even allowed himself a subtle smirk as Odin's will finally broke and he snapped at his successor.

_His non-official successor_, Loki corrected with a dark glee. The Frost Giants had come right on time, disrupting Thor's 'big day' right at its height. Of course, Thor was furious - his rage written all over his face unmistakably - robbed of what he'd waited for for so long, and wanted so much...

_Now he knew how it felt_, Loki thought with dark satisfaction. He'd robbed Thor of what he wanted. Now his brother shared in his pain, even if he didn't know it was Loki who'd inflicted it upon him.

"You're thinking only as a warrior." Odin refuted Thor's suggestion of such blatant battle with the Frost Giants.

_Only as a brute_, Loki added in his head.

They didn't even know the child's name – that was why he had done it. He'd made up his mind. The child was Summer's, innocent to its fathers misdeeds, but not just that; he was a victim. Thor had ruined a second life before it had even begun, and for that, Loki found him unforgivable. And the God of Thunder wouldn't even have them find out the name of his first born.

His selfishness never ceased to amaze Loki.

Loki's chest swelled with quiet anger for the untitled boy; call it revenge on his part, Loki thought, watching Thor with indifferent eyes as his hopes were shot down from the sky.

Bitter and angry – that's how Loki felt. His family had let Thor get away with what he'd done. For Loki though, it would never leave him, and he was going to ensure that as long as he was plagued by it, so was Thor. There would be no peace for either of them. His goal was well in motion as Thor's gritted teeth, his eyes ablaze with anger.

The tools of Loki's vengeance lay dead on the floor of the weapons vault, as well as the brave guards that had been unfortunate enough to be posted here. A hard price, he thought, one that lay squarely on the shoulders of Asgard's king, and king to be. It was their fault. Maybe the it would help drill the message in. Maybe they would understand the wrongness of what had happened and reflect upon their own sins.

Of course they could never know this had happened by Loki's hand. To reveal that it was _he_ who'd let the Frost Giants into Asgard would only make things worse. They'd be blinded from truth, consumed with the thought that Loki was scorned with his brother, jealous. No, Loki was not jealous. Thor could have the crown - pity the people of Asgard if he did – but all Loki wanted was Summer in his arms, to see her smile, to hear her laugh. His life felt empty without her.

It was official: Thor knew nothing outside his world. Thor sat on the steps of the Hall, the table he'd just overturned ruined and broken. "This was to be my day of triumph."

It was all about him. Loki buried his venomous hatred underneath a mask of calm. The triumph had been short lived and already he felt the bitterness creep back into his system. Sure his brother was angry, his father was unsettled, both of them far from the content they'd desire.

But the anger would fade. Thor's crown would come. And when the Frost Giants ceased to break into the realm, Odin's mind would be laid to rest.

As dramatic as Loki's plan had been, nothing had changed.

He needed something more permanent. Something so damaging there was no way Odin could overlook it, no way Thor could forget.

"It'll come." He said, more to himself than Thor, disappointed at the shallow depths of his plan. His mind worked furiously to come up with another. Thor couldn't get away from this unscathed. Loki was being put through Hell – if he was to suffer, then so was Thor. "In time." He promised.

The words meant two very different things to him and Thor, but he scarcely cared. If Thor believed him to be the supportive brother he was appearing to be, it would only make him more susceptible to Loki in the future.

What could he do? He'd delayed Thor's 'big day', but not prevented it. Whereas Summer... Summer was not coming back. He hadn't ripped Thor apart as much as Thor had done to him. As far as permanently taking away what Thor wanted, as his brother had done to him... was it even possible?

His mind was a whirlwind and he was grateful for the Warriors intrusion, distracting Thor just long enough for Loki to think. The Frost Giants had been a weak spot for his father, and the coronation interruption for his brother. What could be bolder than those? Mjolnir? Loki banished the thought in a heartbeat. That was idiotic. That instantly drew the suspicion to another, and with Loki so obviously scorned, he would be the first to be targeted. Besides, it didn't feel right...

Thor had to do something. So there would only be him to blame. But what could be so bad that would lose his crown forever?

Right now, Thor was scorned because of his lost crown. The Frost Giants had cost him that. That was why he wanted to go to Jotunheim - not to make such a grand impression, just to let loose his fury at being denied his crown at their expense.

_Well, if that's what he wants,_ Loki murmured in his head. He could see it perfectly forming in his head already. No good could come of marching into Jotunheim.

But Thor couldn't see that. He was too blinded by his damaged pride.

Then it was suddenly so obvious. What was Thor's greatest weakness? - his ego. "If it's any consolation, I think you're right." Loki said quietly, the words springing to his lips, inspired. "About the Frost Giants, about Laufey, about everything." Gods, that would be perfect; exactly what the arrogant oaf would want to hear. "If they found a way to penetrate Asgard's defences once, who's to say they won't try again? Next time with an army."

"Exactly."

Loki resisted the urge to grin at Thor's solid tone. He bought it. He was actually buying it. Oh, poor Thor, Loki thought in his head. The Thunder God put too much misguided faith in his brother.

Still, Loki was not complaining. Thor deserved everything he got a hundred times over - of that Loki was sure.

Thor wanted to go to Jotunheim, so why not? An idiot move - but Thor's to bear the price. That would make Odin second guess his choice of heir, breaking the peace he had worked so hard to preserve so carelessly..."There's nothing you can do without defying Father."

In the vault, Odin had shot down the idea of going to Jotunheim. He'd do the same again. So this time, he couldn't know...and it would look all the worst for Thor when his deeds were discovered, directly going against what he'd been ordered. Turning one upon the other; so cruel, but so effective. A part of Loki twanged in guilt but it didn't last long, reminding himself that Odin and Thor had spared no mercy for Summer. This was payback. Thor's eyes lifted to his brother's, and Loki read their bright expression. Inside, Loki grinned triumphantly.

He wanted to nod, to say yes - to strap up Thor's horse ready to leave himself if that was what it would take! But no. He had to let Thor take full responsibility for this. To be his own undoing.

"No," he said firmly. In his head though, he was screaming 'yes'. "No, no, no, no. I know that look."

Thor rose to his feet with resolve in his orbs and Loki noted it with success. That was it - the Thunder God had his mind set, and not much could change it after that. Excellent. He just had to sit back and watch now, confident Thor would bring about the rest of his destruction on his own.

"It's the only way to ensure the safety of our borders." Thor spoke nobly, boldly... but Loki scoffed in his head. _The only way to protect his pride maybe_, he thought, but nothing more than that.

The idea was absurd though. Completely insane. "Thor, it's madness." Loki insisted, not entirely lying this time.

Thor couldn't take an army without drawing Odin's attention. And without an army they'd be greatly outnumbered. Foolishly so. Loki couldn't deny the thought of going to Jotunheim under Thor's direction filled him with dread, but he let his brother talk himself into the idea regardless.

Seriously - it was mad. The longer Loki stared into his brother's orbs, the more certain he was sure of the plan forming behind them. Thor was seriously contemplating _six of them _entering an _entire world _of Jotuns. He must have lost his mind...

His mind was a daze as his brother stepped away, the same disbelieving doubts that captured Loki dwelling within the warriors too. But not even they could change the Thunder God's mind.

Loki's heart raced as the adrenalin of what was to happen started to kick into his system at last. He tried to calm himself down though; what could possibly happen? Either they returned safely, with Thor in disgrace, or they died. And Loki wasn't so sure he didn't want the latter anymore. If Summer wasn't going to come back...

He followed Thor and the Warriors to the bridge with no fault in his stride - he had nothing to lose anymore.


	3. Chapter 3

_"She whispers warm and tenderly _

_Please come back to me..."_

**Chapter 3**

Summer's eyes were dark with sleeplessness as she scrubbed aimlessly at a table top, fully aware she'd been doing the same thing for the last twenty minutes. The only sound in her ears were of a baby's screams.

She was struggling. How could caring for a baby be so hard?! Every part of her ached with the lack of sleep it caused her, with the toll it took from feeding. Her arms ached from rocking it to sleep, her chest ached from its suckling, her head ached from its endless cries... thank God her boss had been so understanding. Summer thought of the baby in the Moses basket in the back office of the cafe.

And that was all it took; the cloth was abandoned and the door swung behind her as she raced to the back office as though the devil himself was at her heels.

She barged the door open, her weakened body gasping for breath with the effort, but her eyes found her baby a fraction of a second before the cried hit her ears. Summer strode forward, fighting back the tears.

The office floor was littered with papers no one cared about, as was the desk top. Filing cabinets containing God only knew what lined the walls, but Summer only cared about the bundle inside the basket on the top of the desk. Her arms scooped the infant up smoothly and held him to her shoulder.

The boss let her keep him in the office under the condition that he be kept as quiet as possible. Summer was more grateful than could be imagined. Without this job, she'd have no money, she'd be kicked out of the homeless hostel she was staying in... she'd have nothing, and nothing to support her baby.

That was all it was for the few weeks he'd been in the world -_ it_. She looked down at this baby ... and it just made her want to cry.

The tears were coming long before she knew it, rocking her new son to soothe him. Her lips murmured incoherent words of comfort to him, her head splitting with the sound. She put him down for a second as she undid the side zip of her dress and slid it down her shoulder.

He moaned and whimpered from his lingering sobs as Summer latched him on to her breast and he fed. She sighed through her tears.

Oh god... she screwed her eyes shut and her body rocked as the tears kept coming. This was horrific. She wasn't sure she could bear it alone like this anymore... but then she had to. Sif had said, hadn't she? Loki's message: _don't give up on me._ She forced herself to smile at the thought. He still thought of her, still cared for her. She wasn't abandoned. And Loki was coming for her.

She sucked up her tears and pulled herself together as if Loki could see her now, refusing to bow to weakness again. She let strength wash through her, and her eyes fell to her baby on her chest.

Surely Loki didn't hate her for the child then, if he was still fighting for her? That was good, she breathed an inward sigh of relief. Her eyes roamed over the infant's tiny features and her heart wept; his tiny fists, the way his eyes screwed shut when he fed, the tugging on her chest that told her he needed him, that he loved despite the dark thoughts that sometimes crossed his mother's mind.

She didn't hate her baby, but the more she looked down on him, the more some of her previous negativity started to loosen. He was just a baby. Her baby. Forged of her own body, carried for seven months... it was like Summer held a bit of her soul in her arms.

She'd looked at names, but at the time... he needed a name, she decided determinedly. He needed one. He couldn't go his whole life being called baby, and Summer couldn't wait any longer for Loki to come soon and help her. For the immediate future at least, she had to dig her heels in and bear life on her own.

The baby moaned when he'd finished his fill, and Summer lifted him back to her shoulder, feeling a new sort of connection form with her son as she soothed him. "Ooh, my poor little boy." she breathed softly.

Her hands lifted him up by his sides and Summer pressed a loving kiss to his cheek, guilt flooding her that it had taken her till now to realise how much she loved her son. She clutched him to her chest as he screwed his face up again, upset. This time, a calm tranquillity washed over Summer and she let him cry. She deserved it. She'd been cold and distant from her son for the weeks since he'd been brought into the world, but now she needed to act like his mother. He needed her, and - no matter who his father was - Summer loved him.

"I'm sorry." she sighed, kissing her baby's forehead as his tiny body cried against her, his mouth on her shoulder, his little fist on her chest. Sorrow wrenched Summer's heart apart, and tears of apology came.

The moment he started to settle, she'd made her mind up: she'd go to her manager and go home sick. She'd beg for the afternoon off if she had to. Right now all she wanted was to spend time with her baby boy and let him know she loved him. Really.

He was still whining softly, as if wounded, as Summer place him delicately back in the basket. She grazed the backs of her fingers gently, sending him her silent promise: _I love you. I'll be back._ Tearing herself away, Summer felt like crying again, but she forced herself to stay strong as she zipped her dress up again. Just twenty minutes and she could be back in her hostel room, her and her baby crying together.

She strode through the doors that led her back into the cafe, and her eyes scoured over the numerous heads and faces in search of the highest ranking staff member on the premises.

Something else distracted her: "Summer?"

Summer span around startled at the light touch on the back of her shoulder and the soft call of her name. She didn't recognise the voice.

Turning, she didn't recognise the face either, but it was evident from the warm smile on his face that he recognised her! The guy looked about her age, with dark brown waves of hair and warm, friendly eyes, his body tall and lean. He looked hansom and - judging by the trendy, obvious high end clothes he wore - well off money wise. Summer tried not to be jealous.

The boy's eyes held her face as Summer's wondered. "Summer Martins?"

Summer's wary orbs snapped back to his as he names her. Her thoughts flew to the gang she'd abandoned, wondering if they'd tracked her down. Panic flooded through her instinctively, fearful for her and her baby -

"You probably don't remember me." The boy chuckled light heartedly, his smile widening. "I'm David Lewis. We went to high school together."

David Lewis... Summer's brow creased for a second a she thought, all the way back to high school. She'd almost forgotten her life from back then, before Loki before the hell at the gang's barracks had started. High school was years back. Five years at least. But the more she thought, the more the name rang in her head. Then the penny dropped: David Lewis, her last boyfriend in high school. Well, her last boyfriend, period, excluding Loki.

Her face drained of colour as she remembered him. David Lewis - good looking, rich, and with an adorable crush on Summer since the day they'd met and the day they'd broken up.

David chuckled, oblivious to Summer's panic and stepped forward, enveloping her in a warm hug. Summer just stared wide eyed and shocked over his shoulder. What was David doing here?! When they'd left high school he'd said he was going to live with his distant family in America!

"It's good to see you again." he said over her shoulder, hand patting her back fondly. "How have you been? It's been years."

David pulled back gently so the Summer could answer, but the words just refused to come to her. Her jaw hung open helplessly. She was still stunned. David - here! Why?! All the plans that had been rooted in her just minutes before were forgotten in her haze of confusion.

"You-" she finally managed to stammer. She knew it sounded mad, but she didn't care. "You're here!" Her wide, gleaming eyes lifted to his. "I thought you went away!"

David just laughed. "I went to America for two years for college but came back to Britain for university. I'm at Cambridge now studying Classics." his hand thumbed casually over his shoulder. "I only dropped by to see my uncle - he runs this place, you see - but to see you... wow." he breathed.

Lewis... Summer knew her boss's surname was Lewis but she'd never made the connection! Her head swooned - then she snapped back to focus. Perhaps this could work in her favour after all.

Summer's fingers found the hem of her dress and twisted nervously. "Do you..." her eyes lowered shyly to the floor as her cheeks burned. This felt like asking for help, her pride normally to stubborn to stomach it, but now... "Do you think he'll mind if I take the afternoon off?" she mumbled under her breath. She half wondered if David had even heard her and she'd be forced the humiliating task of repeating herself.

David's soft laugh sounded again. "God no!" he waved off with a grin. "It'll be fine. Give us a chance to catch up."

Summer opened her mouth, fixing a small apologetic smile, ready to shoot his idea out the skies….Summer's heart beat quicker suddenly, and her senses tingled. David's smile froze anxiously as he watched Summer's face fall into one of panic. "E-excuse me!"

It was both a blessing and a curse. Her body just told her when her baby needed her, like she was connected with him and he gave her a warning just a fraction before he'd start screaming. She didn't have time to explain to David - she just turned and fled back to the office.

Her baby boy was moaning, his small body writhing in the basket as he searched for comfort. Summer strode forward and scooped him up instantly. He'd just had a feed; he must just feel lonely. All thoughts of the long lost friend back in the cafe was forgotten, her thoughts swamped with her sad little soldier in her arms.

"It's okay." she soothed, her hand rubbing lightly on his back to comfort him. "Just a little bit longer and we can be out of here okay, baby?" her lips pressed against the side of his head tenderly, and she thought about just taking him with her while she asked her manager. The thought of putting him down now was just heart-breaking. He cried into her shoulder quietly, not howling, just wanting his mother to hold him. Summer felt the first miserable tear roll over her cheek.

"You have a _baby_?"

Summer span around at David's voice behind her and soon wished she hadn't; the baby screamed at the sharp movement.

Summer's eyes were wide with panic as she returned her attention back to her child, arms rocking him even more. Her head pounded sickeningly at the sound. "Oh God." She muttered, the screaming mass against her chest not letting up.

"I'm sorry." David said, taking a steady step towards Summer. Her eyes watched him warily, though his were gleaming with honest sincerity. "Was it my fault?"

Summer didn't have the will to move, too preoccupied with bouncing herself lightly up and down, side to side – whatever might help relax the baby, to stop him screaming like that! Her eyes fluttered shut with absolute relief when he finally started to ease his shouts.

Then she glanced up and her eyes widened when she realised just how close David was. His hand smoothly reached out to touch her son's tiny fingers on her shoulder before she could stop him. "Aw, you're a cutie." David smiled down at the infant, finger tenderly stroking over the baby's tiny hand. Summer tried to force herself to relax, but it was already taking all of her energy not to yank herself and her child out of the reach of this near stranger.

Her suspicion was soon wiped away though, distracted as a strange moaning took over. She could feel her baby's body tremble against her own as he swallowed his cries, and Summer watched with amazement as his fingers started to move, flexing, reaching for David's.

He obliged instantly, his grin widening as the little boy grasped his forefinger lightly.

Summer's jaw dropped. "H-how did you do that?" she gasped, eyes flickering frantically between David and her son, both looking happy and content. "You stopped him crying!"

David's grin glanced up at her from the baby. "Guess he likes me."

Summer's head shook lightly in disbelief. "I can't believe it…" she breathed. "Do you know how long it takes me to set him down sometimes? And yet all you have to do is touch him…"

For a moment, neither of them said anything. Both just stared at the baby. Summer could feel his breathing deepen and knew he was drifting to sleep, glad of it more than words could say. Perhaps she had David to thank for it too, settling him so effortlessly like he had. Summer started to sway softly, easing her baby into slumbers clutches as David's finger fell numbly away from her son's.

"So ..." David suddenly looked sheepish, a blush creeping into his cheeks, a rather dismayed look creeping into his eyes. "I... I guess you're with someone then."

Summer sighed a heavy breath, but didn't stop in the gentle rocking of her child. "No." she breathed, not missing the way David's head snapped up. "Just me." Her heart twanged, and her eyes fell on her son. "Just us." she corrected.

David's brow creased. "But the father..."

One of Summer's hands left her baby to wave dismissively in the air. "Don't talk to me about him." she'd wanted it to sound strong and independent, but she felt the fragility behind her words. She drew in a ragged breath as the tears started to form again. "He's long out of the picture."

A hand touched her shoulder as she sniffed her tears back, her eyes averted darkly to the side. She hated crying in front of people. Alone, fine, but in front of someone… but thinking of Thor just filled her with a hatred she couldn't contain anymore.

"Hey, don't cry." David said, his palm cupping Summer's shoulder warmly. She glanced up and was caught by his warm, friendly gaze. "It's okay."

"It's _not _okay." Summer growled angrily, running a hand over her moist eyes roughly. "You try giving birth, supporting a baby and living in a hostel all by yourself and see how you goddamn find it!" she snapped, shifting her baby to the other side of her body so his delicate ears were away from her sharp voice. She gulped down some of her anger, letting it simmer inside her as her eyes rolled away from David's startled face. "The bastard ruined my life."

The words seemed to release a new sense of freedom inside her, and Summer felt her rage boil inside her. She didn't normally talk about Thor, even vaguely. Who was there to talk to? There was only the baby and Summer didn't want to get angry at him.

But saying it now, being able to express her hatred... it was liberating. It scorched inside her soul, her teeth gritting with her fury. It was a long time since she'd allowed herself to feel this way.

"You ...you live in a hostel?"

David's soft voice brought her back to the present, and she instinctively hugged her baby closer to her body. Her fingers stroked her baby's back, trying to calm herself.

Her eyes blinked back up to David's, and she cursed her slow wits as she read the pity in his eyes. God, why couldn't she keep her mouth shut? It had to be exhaustion. There was no way she'd normally give out such information, wouldn't complain. A hostel wasn't that bad. She'd dealt with worse. And the baby was different, but hardly something she couldn't live through. Surely? She'd lived through tough times and pain before.

_And look where that got you_, a snide voice in her head reminded her._ Your stubbornness just ended up with you in the harbour._ Only now she had a baby to look after. She couldn't do that again.

A heavy sigh left her lips at her incompetence, but there was no way she could dodge round it now. "Yeah." she finally breathed, blinking her eyes away to hide the shame they betrayed. She pressed her lips together proudly, and clutched her baby as if he'd be taken away from her at her poor ability to provide for him. "For a couple of months."

She'd started to change her mind now. Maybe she didn't like David so much after all, she thought as the sigh left his lips, the sympathy in it unignorable.

"Well... you could always stay with me, if you want?"

Summer's orbs flickering up instinctively to meet his, ready to shoot his idea down, to insist she was alright. Then she noticed something she hadn't before, her heart aching at the realisation: David had emerald green eyes.

Just like Loki.


	4. Chapter 4

_"Memories they haunt his mind_  
_Save him from the endless night..."_

**Chapter 4**

_Summer sat, elbows leaning on the top of one crate of books, her legs folded delicately on the floor beneath her. Her eyes glittered over the top of the books pages._

_"I remember you once say, Mr Darcy, that you hardly ever forgave, that your resentment once created was unappeasable." She quoted, reading with prime, pristine diction, though with a uniqueness as if the words were spoken as her own. Her eyes flickered up teasingly to Loki across the room. "You are very cautious, I suppose, as to its being created?"_

_Loki grinned, happily having the time of his life._

_The multiplicity of the books given to Summer had enlightened them to a most enjoyable pass time: role play. Today was Pride and Prejudice._

_"I am." He nodded, book in hand as he stood on the other side of the low aisle of boxes of books that ran down the centre of the room, trying to portray the aloofness of the character in his voice. He had to confess, Summer did the acting better, but he was enjoying himself all the same._

_"And never allow yourself to be blinded by prejudice?" Summer asked her like, angling her face inquisitively to the side aptly._

_"I hope not."_

_Summer sat back on her heels, her back straight and proper, like a true lady of the Midgardian times the story was set in. Her well-constructed expression didn't portray a fleck of Summer Martins save for her amusedly sparkling eyes, every part of her poised for Elizabeth Bennet. "It is particularly incumbent on those who never change their opinion, to be secure of judging properly at first."_

_Loki tried to work the light suspicion in his voice, as he knew the character must be feeling at the subtle interrogation. "May I ask to what these questions tend?"_

_Summer shrugged, an action Loki neglected - with an amused grin - to find in the book. "Merely to the illustration of your character. I am trying to make it out."_

_"And what is your success?"_

_A light frown touched her features, her eyes bearing over him as if she truly didn't understand what made him the way he was. "I do not get on at all." Her crafted cautious voice said. "I hear such different accounts of you as puzzle me exceedingly."_

_Loki decided to aspire to Summer's level of acting and let his head tilt away slightly, allowing his irritation at his brother flash on his face, manipulating the darkness that crossed his face to the sombre tone of Mr Dacry's line: "I can readily believe that report may vary greatly with respect to me; and I could wish, Miss Bennet, that you were not to sketch my character at the present moment, as there is no reason to fear that the performance would reflect no credit on either."_

_He teased a glance back to her, and felt a smirk prick on his lips at her beam. Perhaps he was better at this than he'd thought._

_Summer's lips pressed together, trying to regain her character through her grin. Her eyes sparkled with glee, working a fleck of mischief into her glittering olive green orbs: "But if I do not take your likeness now, I may never have another opportunity."_

xxx

Oh, how cruelly accurate that was.

Loki couldn't explain why the scene ran through his head, at the most inappropriate moment possible. For all the acting and manipulating he'd done earlier, there was nothing fake about his reaction now.

He watched on with interest and anxiety, his heart pounding in his chest at the second Thor v. Odin argument he'd seen today unfolding before his eyes. And yet this one was so much more potent than the one before, the spark so much more critical, so much more than just damaged pride...

"Do you realise what you've done? What you've started?"

"I was protecting my home."

Loki was still reeling from what had happened, that Thor had actually dragged them into Jotunheim. He knew his brother was brash but this... even though Loki had orchestrated it, he hadn't been entirely prepared for the reality. After seeing all those monsters, he'd been sure they'd all be killed.

Odin's anger was completely justifiable and Loki was so blatantly shocked from the visit to Jotunheim that his usual inbuilt hatred of his brother was dormant. He thought of Summer, thoughts still running through his mind of her.

"You can't even protect your friends! How can you hope to protect a kingdom?

That day had been one of many role playing Elizabeth Bennet and Mr Darcy, let alone some of their other favourite characters. Perhaps that scene had significance somehow.

Summer never had the opportunity to 'sketch his likeness' after all, stranded on Earth. Oh gods, Loki missed her. Going into Jotunheim, the battle breaking out... he'd half thought they would all die, especially when the bridge had stayed closed for that heart stopping second, and then the Frost Giants had been upon them.

Thoughts of Summer had filled his head, sure that he was going to die. He'd wanted his last thoughts to be of her and her loving smile, her happy laugh in his ears.

His mind had ticked off his regrets in his head the things he would never have gotten to do with his death. He would never hold Summer again. He would never see her. He would never be able to see the child she'd bore thanks to the monstrosity of his brother, wouldn't know his own nephew's name...

"There won't be a kingdom to protect if you're afraid to act. The Jotuns must learn to fear me just like they once feared you."

That was all it was about, Loki thought dazed. Thor. They'd just had all their lives so recklessly risked for the sake of Thor's pride. How could he... he'd rape an innocent woman and send his dearest friends into a dangerous kingdom against an army just for the sake of his pride. Loki didn't care much for the Warrior's fate himself, but Thor was supposed to. The only one Loki even had a faint interest in was Sif, owing her a debt for what she'd done for Summer. He was rather amazed they had all made it out alive, only Fandral injured to show of the venture. They'd been lucky. So, so lucky..

Loki was utterly speechless as the argument bellowed around him, echoing around the golden Bifrost chamber. He was still reeling from their narrow escape. He had to confess, without Odin they would have all been slaughtered for sure. Perhaps he had to give his father that much. But now, seeing the anger in Odin's eyes, seeing and completely understanding the blatant horror in his eyes at what his eldest son had done... Loki saw his father's attitude do a U-turn from the day he'd been forced to banish Summer. Now, he saw the same monster Loki did.

Loki's arm trembled at his side, his whole body still chilled from the atmosphere of Jotunheim. But his arm though, that one arm... it was the same arm that had changed colour when the Frost Giant had touched him.

"That's pride and vanity talking, not leadership. You've forgotten everything I taught you about a warrior's patience."

What had that been? When Volstagg had been touched it had hurt him, injured him... but it hadn't Loki. His hand and arm had changed. He remembered it vividly; the way cold swept through the limb enough to shiver his skin violently. But nothing had hurt.

And he'd changed. His skin had changed from its usual pale colour to an icy blue. That hadn't happened to Volstagg. That hadn't happened to anyone in the history books. 'A touch that burned' it had always been described as. It hadn't burned Loki. It had changed him. Why was he different? He'd never heard any account of that happening before, never...

"While you wait and be patient, the Nine Realms laugh at us." Thor growled bitterly, wrenching Loki's thoughts back to the chamber room. "The old ways are done, yet you'd stand giving speeches while Asgard falls-"

"You're a vain," Odin finally snapped harshly, Loki inwardly flinching at his sharp tone. "Greedy, cruel boy!"

A part of him leapt with hope; sense at last! His father's eyes had been opened finally. He could see it in Odin's orbs - there was no sympathy there. No torn emotions. Only rage...

"And you are an old man and a fool!"

Thor's face was twisted with absolute fury. Loki had a feeling of dread in his gut. So far, this day had spiralled out of control - what more could happen?

Loki watched with a strangely sinking heart at the numbness that suddenly washed over Odin, watching how the anger simply bled from his father. It was replaced with pure sadness, pure horror. Loki went cold - he had a bad feeling about this...

"I was a fool," the King finally breathed admittedly to the floor. "To think you were ready."

Slowly, Odin's eyes moved back to his eldest, still brimming with hurt. Thor returned it with heartless, wild rage. "I have overlooked a lot of what you have done in the past, Thor, though I knew it to be wrong." Odin said quietly, his tone dripping with a sadness that made Loki listen earnestly. Was this... this was the remorse he'd been waiting for, that he needed? Looking into Odin's eyes, Loki could understand the pain he found there.

Odin's hand moved to point solemnly at the Bifrost. "Do you know how much it hurt to send her back?" the King half breathed, his tone simply heart-breaking. "It destroyed me inside, as it did to your mother. You committed a great horror to an innocent woman, one under _our protection_... and yet I cast aside what I knew to be right in the hope it would not happen again."

Loki's heart thundered in his chest, in a mixture of anxiety and excitement. This was it! This was the realisation, the confrontation he'd been waiting for! Odin's orbs started to harden. "But I can see you have not changed."

The hope swam in Loki's heart. Odin regretted it - he was admitting it was wrong to send her away. Did that mean?

Loki was stepping forward before he knew it. "Father..."

Odin silenced him with a shout, and Loki didn't dare argue the blazing look in Odin's eyes. The god's eyes widened at his father's fully returning fury suddenly being turned on him, but he stood his ground, refusing to let his gaze lower.

Odin slowly moved it back to Thor: "Thor Odinson, you have betrayed the express command of your king. Thought your arrogance and stupidity, you've opened these peaceful realms and innocent lives to the horror and desolation of war!" His voice rose to an outraged shout and Loki felt something tremor inside him at its power. Odin's staff plunged into the central workings of the Bifrost and the chamber crackled with powered energy.

Loki froze at the activity. The Bifrost was being activated. Why? He couldn't be bringing Summer back _now,_ could he? He was only more concerned when Odin strode forward and closed the gap between him and Thor.

"You are unworthy of these realms." Odin's hands ripped off the plates of Thor's armour from the prince's torso with every outraged word.

Finally, Loki saw a flicker of something other than mindless, blazing rage in his brother's eyes.

"You are unworthy of your title!" Odin ripped the red cap from his son's armour, Thor stood in the most basic plates and scales of his armour. The confusion and hurt was absolute in the prince's eyes. "You're unworthy!" Odin yelled mercilessly into them. For a second he paused, the king collecting himself as he compressed his anger. When he went on, his voice was controlled. "Of the loved ones you have betrayed."

Loki was sure he didn't miss the way his father glanced at him as he turned away from his eldest, striding up to beside the central workings of the Bifrost chamber. The bitter regret was evident.

The loved ones he had betrayed... there was more than just the shame he was talking about. Loki was no fool; Odin meant Summer. He... Odin did understand he realised with a glimmer of hope. Maybe he was going to undo it, Loki thought. The reason the Bifrost was open - perhaps he was going to have Summer brought back, and Thor striped of his title.

The awed, hopeful thoughts were driven from Loki's mind as Odin turned back to Thor, his arm outstretched. "I now take from you your power." Mjolnir flew from Thor's hand into Odin's. "In the name of my father," Loki watched with a combination of marvel and sickening, unexplainable dread as the scaled armour began to chip away from Thor's body, raining from him. "And his father before," Loki couldn't look away as Thor's eyes glanced up, confused, wounded ... something inside Loki twanged with an unwilling pity.

It was quickly knocked out, remembering what this 'poor', 'helpless' man had done to Summer. But he had no time for his heart to harden, for his orbs to turn to ice, for him to be anything but purely stunned as the world just unfolded around him uncontrollably.

"I, Odin Allfather, cast you out!"

A bolt of brilliant lightning crackled from Mjolnir's head and struck Thor squarely in the middle of the chest, sending him flying backwards. The last of his armour was blasted off, chipped away as it owner was cast back - right into the stream of the Bifrost.

Thor was swallowed up in an instant, and in the space it took for Loki to blink, his brother's form had gone, replaced with the angrily swirling depths of the Bifrost.

Loki didn't realise he'd stopped breathing until it came out in a rush, his chest heaving with the movement. His eyes were wide and shocked. Thor... Thor was gone. Gone. He'd hoped for Odin to see the truth about his son, but to banish him...Loki's heart soared. That was better than he could have imagined.

Banished. Just like Summer. Gone... how did that make him feel? Happy? A part of him leapt for it, but he couldn't find the will to smile now, still stunned by the fact that his wish had been granted at last. The source of his misery had been exiled at last. Now Summer could come back safely. There was no 'pride of Thor' to defend anymore.

The hammer spiralled into the depths of the Bifrost after its former master, and Loki's eyes turned to where his father had stood, hopeful. He could ask. Why reason was there not to now? Summer could return.

He was shocked to find his father's eyes hostile. "No." Odin growled, his eyes blazing. Loki could only imagine how he felt, banishing his long beloved son, no matter what evil he'd done. "Not now." The King turned and strode away without another word, wrenching his staff from the chamber mechanics as he went, his stride heavy and troubled.

Cold rejection washed through Loki, burning out his empathy. He wanted Summer back - waiting for even a second longer was just torture for him. But the truth of what had happened still had him shocked beyond belief, and no matter how much he wanted to he couldn't find the words. He couldn't even move...

_Not now_, Odin had said, Loki reassured himself in his head. Not 'not ever', just not now. That said enough to Loki; he would bring Summer back. Sooner or later, Summer would be in Asgard again, she and her son.


	5. Chapter 5

_"And when the golden sun arises far across the sea  
The dawn will break as darkness fades forever we'll be free..."_

**Chapter 5**

"We should never have let him go."

Loki barely heard Volstagg, not even remotely interested in what his 'friends' were talking about. Only because he knew it was about Thor. He couldn't believe how loyal they still remained to him even after Thor had almost got them all killed.

"There was no stopping him." Sif sighed from across the room.

Loki stared down at his hand. It was ... fine. And it shouldn't be. He'd been touched by a Frost Giant and it had frozen him - but not in the way it should have. He was back to normal.

He'd never heard of any sort of immunity. The concept itself was impossible. His hand and arm had turned blue in Jotunheim when his wrist had been touched and he'd felt his limb freeze. It had hurt; briefly. Then it felt ... normal. Loki didn't understand it. Or perhaps he did, but found the only possible solution was just unthinkable.

"Well, at least he's only banished, not dead." Fandral cut in. "Which is what we'd all be if that guard hadn't told Odin where we'd gone."

Thor was gone. Loki was still getting his head round that. It was rather quiet without his brother's demanding presence, so peaceful. Loki could think at last, although he couldn't shake the paranoia, as if he thought his brother was still lurking around somewhere to surprise him.

For Thor to be gone entirely was too good to be true. Loki had just wanted to disrupt his coronation - Thor had done the rest himself. It was like fate, Loki thought. Thor was finally getting punished for his deeds.

Now there was just the question of Loki himself...

"How did the guard even know?"

Loki's attention snapped back to the conversation at the right moment and he lifted his head at the question, not hesitating in his answer. "I told him." he said calmly.

Fandrall's frown was a picture. "What?"

Loki shrugged. He had nothing to hide. For once, he'd done the right thing and it had been for the right reasons. He didn't even have to lie for it: "I told him to go to Odin after we'd left." he explained, more than truthful. "He should be flogged for taking so long. We should never have reached Jotunheim."

"You told the guard?!"

_Yes, _I _told the guard_, Loki answered Volstag sarcastically in his head. He could sense the air tense already; well, the Warriors always had been more Thor's friends than his.

"I saved our lives." he argued carefully, casting his low serious gaze around the room. He was not going to be diminished by these warriors, their allegiance tied to the wrong prince. "And Thor's." he put in for good measure. His hands spread out to the side in a sort of shrug. "I had no idea Father would banish him for what he did." _Though it was a nice little perk_, he added in his head.

He'd had to have all bases covered. While Loki was prepared to die, not much light left in life when he'd made those plans, he wanted to see Thor hurt, not dead. Death was too easy. And while he didn't expecially care about the Warriors, seeing them dead wouldn't do him many favours. Especially Sif. He still owed her. At the last moment he'd made the precaution of telling the guard, just before they'd saddled up.

Not that the Warriors would understand, he realised, catching all eyes fixed on him. There was a wariness there, as if the Warrior's were silently, subtly blaming him for Thor's banishment. _Only it wasn't my fault_, Loki argued in his head, eyes hard as they cast around the warriors.

Thor's friends weren't much different to Thor himself; arrogant, blind to the truth. They'd still stand by Thor after all he'd done. Yet when Loki does the right thing, they treat him with suspicion._ It doesn't matter_, Loki thought in his head. _I don't need them. They can mourn Thor's loss if they want, while I make things right._

Sif stood and crossed the room a few paces to Loki's direction, catching his eye. "Loki," she said in her soft voice. "You must go to the Allfather and convince him to change his mind."

Loki's eyes hardened instinctively. No. That asked too much. "And if I do, then what?" he sneered.

He wouldn't do that. He'd rather chew his own arm off than ask for Thor's return. He may not have planned Thor's banishment - but Hell, he didn't regret it either! He simply hadn't thought Odin was capable of it to consider that as an outcome. He was glad he had though. Maybe his father deserved a little more credit than Loki was giving him.

The rest would come though, when he brought Summer and her son back from exile. Only that would wipe the slate clean entirely.

Still... Thor may be gone and Odin moving to his side, but while he didn't like the Warriors, it couldn't harm to try and get the realms best warriors on his side.

Loki cast his eyes around the group, gaze hard - half from resentment at the depths lies about to leave his lips: "I love Thor more dearly than any of you, but you know what he is. He's arrogant. He's reckless. He's dangerous." _In more ways than one_, Loki added in his head, thoughts swimming to Summer. He quickly focused himself, knowing that mention of Summer would only damage his cause. "You saw how he was today." He paused for a moment, letting his words sink in. Even the loyal warriors couldn't deny that what Thor had done was nothing short of disasterous. If Thor had been king, had nothing to stop him going further than he had... "Is that what Asgard needs from it's king?"

He was right. He may lie and manipulate and hate his brother, but he was right. Thor as a king, like that... he was starting to think he'd done them all a favour, not just himself.

But the warriors didn't see it like that. He watched them, how they all stayed solid in their ignorance, loyal to Thor. They didn't trust him, he realised. _Fine_, Loki thought, turning on his heel and storming from the chamber. He didn't need them. They would have made life easier, but they weren't essential. He only needed Summer.

And with Thor gone, that would soon be a reality.

Loki strode quickly, but still his accute hearing caught Sif's soft voice as she conversed darkly with her fellow warriors: "He may speak of the good of Asgard but he's always been jealous of Thor. Ever since that woman..."

_That woman... _Loki's teeth gritted in rage as he strode away from the room, Sif's face burning in his mind. He'd though she of all of them might understand, might be able to empathise with Summer as a woman. She'd helped deliver her unwanted baby, conceived through rape, seen the result of Thor's horror first hand; Loki had been mistaken.

He felt the obligation towards the shield maiden wash away quickly. He'd thought she'd see things differently, but if she was against Summer... Loki couldn't tolerate that, much less support it. Sif was on her own from now on.

_Summer..._

More voices from the chamber followed him but Loki didn't stop to listen this time. If the warriors had a problem, it wasn't Loki's. Thor's banishment wasn't of his doing, he had nothing to feel guilty about. He couldn't change it, and nor could they. Their problem was not his burden to bear. Thor had forged his own path and now suffered the consequences.

Loki had merely pointed the direction.

xxx

An hour later, Loki's orbs were wide with shock as he stared vacantly ahead, not seeing anything through those glassy eyes. In his head, it was another matter entirely.

His mind span with a thousand images a second, so dizzying he'd been forced to stay sat on the steps of the golden chamber, the Casket across the far end of the room taunting him with it's icy blue glow. He wasn't sure what to think anymore. Everything... everything had changed. Everything had been a _lie._

He was not who he thought he was.

He was not _what_ he thought he was.

He was a Frost Giant.

Thoughts ran through his head as he recalled it - the chill. The icy chill that had raced across his skin as he'd held the Casket, seconds before the blue tinge to his complexion followed it. He'd come to find out and now he knew. And he wished he didn't. He really did.

His heart thud madly in his chest, flitting with panic. What now? His hands rose and pressed into the base of his throat where the necklace clung to his sweaty skin. Summer...

Loki wasn't sure what to do now. What would Summer think of this? She was perfect, human and mortal and he was... a monster.

Leaving was his first thought. Leaving Asgard. As Odin had so cruelly pointed out before, the truth always came out and if many did not know of Loki's true heiratage, then he was sure they would soon enough. Did Thor know? Frigga must. Odin did, but did Thor? He wasn't sure why it was so important for him to know that one fact. Sure Thor had undoubtedly been favoured all their lives, but what about with this? Had he too been trusted with the secret to Loki's identity that even Loki himself had not?

His chest ached with pain, knowing that he was an outcast. People would know one day... and then they would chase him out. He could not live in a realm where the people regarded his race as monsters. It wouldn't be tolerated.

And Loki didn't know what to do.

Odin did. Loki was sure he must. He'd kept this secret guarded all these years - he must be able to cling to the lie a while longer. But that hardly mattered - the King was in the Odinsleep. Loki had seen it before, but it had been terrifying when he hadn't been expecting it. The way his father - _no_, he growled in his head, not his father - had folded over and collapsed, he'd thought he'd been dying.

Now, sat here, heart burning with a lethal combination of hurt and hatred, Loki half wish he had. He'd dropped this burden on Loki's shoulders, and left him alone to deal with it. It wasn't fair.

A kinder part of him knew that he was being harsh. Odin cared for him. He knew that deep down. The Odinsleep was brought upon in times of great stress, where the King had much on his mind. This, Thor's banishment, the war the elder prince had ignited... yes, it wasn't hard to imagine the King had needed to recover.

But now? Of all times! Loki felt helpless, staring down at his hands as the breaths hitched in his throat. 'Monster' echoed in his head. He needed guidance, he needed help.

Only there was no one to give it to him. He was alone. This must be how Summer had felt, he thought soberingly. When she'd first come to Asgard and when she'd been sent back, a demi-god in her womb, a story and situation no one would understand. She must have been alone, just as terrified as Loki.

They needed each other. He understood that, his eyes blinking himself back to focus. He closed his mouth and fists firmly; he had to be strong for her, to bear this torment as she had done.

He needed her back.

He wanted her off that damned realm just to put some distance between her and Thor, at least so she could be with him and he protect her. Her and her boy.

Loki tore to his feet and fled from the chamber unable to bear it anymore. He had to speak to her, to see her... but he couldn't and there wasn't a damned thing he could do about it! He didn't stop running until he crashed into his chambers and was ripping something apart, screaming like a maniac. "It's not fair!" he yelled as his hand tore a letter apart, and he grabbed fistfuls of the letters the Summer had never read.

What if she rejected him? What if? He was a Frost Giant. He hated himself. How the hell could Summer love him now?

The rage flew up inside him and he upturned the crate of letters in a flurry, sinking to his knees and burying his face in his hands. Odin had managed to ruin everything all over again. A Frost Giant...Loki was screaming in his head. He was horrific. He turned to ice! If he'd thought Thor was a monster, what did that make him? Summer would hate him. _He_ hated him! Thor may have defiled Summer, may have harmed her, but all through it she'd still loved Loki. Through this though.. would Summer still love him? Or would she just be scared?

No, she had to love him, Loki half pleaded in his head, hands dragging down his paling, horrified face. She was kind, she was wonderful - Summer wasn't petty. And all the things that had happened to her in her life, surely this wasn't the worst.

Still, Loki was terrified. What if Odin had ruined the only thing Loki cared about years ago, millenia before Summer had even been born? He felt numb with dread.

How could this be real?! He just needed to hold Summer, to kiss her, to let him unburden his troubles on her the way she had to him by the lakeside. She was the only person he could trust. He'd never felt so alone in all his life.

And Odin was unconscious - how could he bring Summer back if he was unconsious?! Everything was ruined...

Suddenly, Loki blinked. Letters and papers were scattered everywhere, numerous accounts of men spilling out their feelings to their mermaid. Loki blinked; that was it, he thought. His hand grabbed a random letter as he threw himself to his desk, reaching for his quill so fast he nearly spilled the ink pot. These men had wrote their feelings to Summer because they could not tell her in person. Perhaps Loki could do the same.

"My dearest Summer." He started, the quill scratching frantically at the paper. Already it felt good, just writing her name. He clung to the illusion that she would one day read it, that she would read, understand and send her thoughts and heart to be with Loki even if she couldn't be there herself.

He imagined it; the letter in her hands, her bright, glistening eyes angled upwards, knowing that she would be thinking of him. It gave him strength. It gave him hope. For now.

His hand stilled though, and his mind froze. What could he say? What would he say if Summer was right there with him? "That I'm sorry." he answered himself aloud. "That I love you." A billion things he wanted to say to her echoed in his mind, but the quill didn't touch the paper once, hovering in the air. "What's his name? How are you?"

His eyes blinked back to the blank paper and he scrawled what he just said down. All of it. Then he gulped. What else would she need to know? "Thor's gone." he wrote slowly, as if still struggling to believe it was real. "Odin is helpless." Loki felt his heart warm thinking of Summer, even as he was talking of the misfortunes of his family. A disbelieving smile crossed his lips. "Everything that stood against us has fallen away."

He stared down at the words, feeling an unnatural pull to them. Not that he paid it much heed. They were just words. What could they do? Then his smile slipped - but the quill kept on writing. "But I am a monster."

That was it. There was nothing holding them back anymore... other than Loki himself. Loki let the quill fall and sighed heavily as he leaned back in his chair, staring down at the letter. Only him. Everything they wanted would have been in their grasp...except for this snag.

"That's it." Loki breathed, letting the sadness crush over him, clenching at his heart. His skin tingled and he wondered if he was turning blue. He didn't want to be a Frost Giant. He knew he was pale and colder than Asgardians... but a Frost Giant?! That was the reality he now had to live with, for the rest of his life.

And even if by some miracle the people found out about and accepted him, there was no way they could pretend Summer's son was his anymore. They'd all see through that lie.

And without the King's approval, she couldn't come back anyway.

The legs of the chair squeaked as he pushed it back and rose, taking up the letter with him. He strode across the room to the mantlepiece and a flick of his wrist had the fire blazing within in seconds. _That's it_, he thought, _dream over_. His heart was cold and bitter as he tossed the paper in the fiery inferno, watching the flames flare as they were fed. He watched his heart, his feelings literally burn as they did inside him, simmering with his anger.

He couldn't tear his eyes away from the flames. The fire jumped and danced, Loki clearly able to see the paper within smouldering and burning at the edges. A part of his heart cracked when he watched Summer's name blacken and burn.

Then it happened again - his eyes honed in on the same words as before before they blew up into ash, echoing in his mind: _Thor was gone. Odin is helpless._ The breath caught in his throat, and ideas swam through his mind. Thor could not stop them. Odin was too unconscious to stop them... he could do it. He could go to Summer and bring her back.

If he had to...

The last of the letter was dissintergrated, but it didn't stop Loki's mind racing. He needed the King's approval...there was still a King, even if Odin was unconscious. Who took power when Odin was down? Frigga. And Frigga would have no qualms to bring Summer back. She loved Summer. And in a time such as this, she'd want to salvage her family as much as possible.

Loki's eyes glimmered with hope, with purpose. He could do it. They could do it. The path was laid out before them, obstacles cleared. All he had to do was take it.

He turned and strode from his chambers in a heartbeat.


	6. Chapter 6

_"She mourns beneath the moonlit sky  
Remembering when they said goodbye..."_

**Chapter 6 **

Summer sat on the couch with her knees drawn up to her chest, watching David feed her baby from the bottle across the room. The two couches faced each other, nearly the only furniture in the plush living room. There was so much Summer wanted to just stare at, knowing this was all a dream life she could never hope to have herself, but she couldn't take her eyes off her baby.

"You sure you don't want to sleep?" David asked, his soft green orbs glancing up from the baby in his arms. Summer blinked herself back to focus to meet them. "I'm not being funny, but you look exhausted."

Yeah, she knew she did. She could feel it. The sigh dragged from her lips and she lifted her hand to run it through her bedraggled hair, letting her eyes flutter shut for a moment. Just a moment, but it made her appreciate just how tired she really was.

David's place was nice... and so was he. Summer was blown away by his offer to have her stay with him, and his generosity didn't falter there: he'd bought her formula milk for the baby, new clothes for her at the all-night store and had even asked for a pay rise in her wages, even though he'd managed to swing her some time off work. For a guy she hadn't spoken to in ten years, he was being kind enough to bring tears to Summer's eyes.

She watched her baby drink from the bottle in David's arms, making soft moaning noises of content as he did. Her chest still ached from her long ago feeds, but it was tingling, as if wondering why it had gone so long without a baby to feed.

Summer was glad for the formula stuff though. She was glad for the break. And thanks to that and David's willingness to get up and tend to her screaming baby at ungodly hours, Summer had gotten her first night of full sleep in weeks.

And still she felt on edge.

Her hand reached down to beside her on the couch to steady herself, but she was distracted as her fingers crinkled paper. Her eyes glanced down to the birth certificate down beside her, her son's newly given name shining out at her. The 'father' box was staring up darkly, as if the prince himself was glaring at her through the paper.

"You're not doing Ewin any favours by beating yourself up like this, you know." David went on quietly.

Summer couldn't take her eyes off the paper. "I know... but I don't know what else to do."

It was a moment before David answered her, and Summer contented herself with running her finger around the edge of Ewin's birth certificate. Ewin... she didn't know why she chose it. She guessed she wanted her son to have some ties to his Norse roots, and Old English was as close as she could get without it hurting too much. And she liked the meaning of it too - the opposite of his father; friend of the law. She only hoped her son would grow to live up to that meaning.

"You don't have to go." David finally said quietly. Summer's eyes flickered up and caught his sincere gaze, though solid with earnest. He didn't let up. "You can stay here as long as you want."

A sad smile flickered on Summer's lips and she drew her knees closer to her body. "That's not fair to you. It's too much."

"I'll say when it's too much." David said firmly, shifting Ewin slightly in his arms. The infant whined before his bottle was returned to him. "But we've known each other since high school, Summer. I can't just throw you out - and you with a baby!" His head shook lightly, eyes not once letting up. "I don't know what you've been used to lately, but I won't do that."

_What I've been used to_... Summer gulped and tried to ignore the wetness pricking at her orbs. She wanted to look away... but that look in David's eyes, so honest and strong... she just couldn't do it.

"Thank you." she whispered.

She lowered her gaze to her hands, clasped so tightly between her knees and body her knuckles were white. Then the first tear came and her cheeks burned with shame.

"Hey... it's okay." Summer heard the shifting weight on the couch as David rose from his across the room and slowly crossed the distance, settling him and Ewin down beside Summer with a quick dismissal of the birth certificate. Her head turned ever so slightly, but she didn't have the will to look him in the eye. She was sure, if he didn't have Ewin feeding in his arms, David would have laced one around her shoulders. She eased against his as if he had. "Whatever happened to you, it's going to be alright now."

Summer pressed her lips together, but it was useless as her lip started to quiver. Her hand covered her mouth just in time as the first sob choked free and she screwed her eyes shut.

Ewin let out a moan of protest and Summer guessed David must have ditched the bottle after all as the firm presence of his arm comforted her shoulders and eased her close. Summer didn't resist, and the tears leaked from her eyes onto David's shoulder. She couldn't stop it. Her hand found his shirt on his chest and gripped as if that were the only thing tethering her to the Earth.

"Hey..." David soothed, and Summer felt his lips press into her hair. Her heart skipped a beat, but she didn't have the will to do anything about it now. "You can't cry. Ewin needs you, remember. You've got to be his mum and his dad. Only you can do that."

Summer choked back some of the tears, peeling her eyes open blurrily. "I don't know if can." she forced out. "I didn't mean for any of this to happen."

Through the tear blurred world, Summer saw Ewin, cradled in the crook of David's arm. Instinct released her hand from David's shirt and guided her finger to her baby. His miserable round electric blue eyes stared up at her. Thor's eyes. "I'm sorry." she whispered to him. "You deserve better than this."

A small smile touched her lips as the back of her finger stroked her baby's cheek and his head and hand turned to her touch. David grinned unashamedly. "I think he wants his mummy." he chuckled.

Summer let her smile widen. "I don't know." she breathed, letting more fingers brush over her baby's little cheek. "He looks pretty happy with you."

For a moment, David just smiled, his and Summer's eyes cast down sweetly on the little angel in David's arm. Then his orbs lifted softly to Summer, picking up her gaze in the process. She blinked at him, her heartbeat hammering in her chest at how close they were.

"We could share him." David breathed quietly.

Summer's heart thudded, her body reacting to the closeness shared between her and David. She could feel his breath sigh over her lips. She could feel the slight warmth he exuded. She could make out each different fleck of green in his eyes.

Just a lean... a tiny inch forward and she could ease some of the loneliness she'd been feeling. David liked her. David would do anything for her. He'd shared his home with her, helped with her baby as if he were his own son. Perhaps she should put David's name on the birth certificate. She didn't want her boy growing up without a father. And David was so sweet, so wonderful...

Summer hadn't noticed herself easing forward, until David's eyes, fluttering shut, drew her to her senses. The frown hit her brow hard, and she smoothed out her slightly puckered lips.

What was she doing? Summer pulled away definitively, pulling her hand away from her baby to remove all temptation. She'd ... she'd been more than willing to kiss David just a minute ago...

Then what would Loki think of her?

Guilt pooled in Summer's heart, and she could feel her face pale with horror. How could she even think about betraying Loki? She loved him. He wouldn't be kissing other girls in Asgard while Summer wasn't there. And yet here Summer was about to do just that simply because she knew it would feel good. Because Loki wasn't there himself.

She felt so ashamed of herself. Loki's green orbs lingered in her head as if he could see her, as if he knew, and she imagined them twisted with hurt as if he did. It broke her heart. She didn't mean to, she thought hastily. She really didn't.

Maybe she should leave, she thought. If this loneliness was driving her to this then perhaps it would be better to remove temptation. After all, David liked her. He always had. She could see it in his eyes even now after all these years; that glow of tender adoration. He would be more than willing to oblige her. He would do nothing for her self restraint.

"Summer?"

Her eyes flickered up and flew to David at his soft voice. Eyes, now open, stared at her gently, slightly pinched with concern. "Are you alright?" he asked her.

Summer's eyes washed over David, and in a moment all thoughts of leaving left her. Not for herself - for her son. She looked at the way he was so comfortable in David's arms, how naturally David held him... her son deserved better than a squalid hostel room. And David could give him that. At least for now.

She fixed a small, sweet smile on her face and tried to pretend a few minutes ago hadn't happened. Impossible. "Can I hold him?" She reached out her hands like a child, suddenly needing her baby to force her to focus.

David grinned, and handed the infant over without hesitation. Summer snuggled Ewin to her chest and gazed down at his little face. He looked happy. Full and content. His face wasn't fully scrunched up like it was almost constantly since he'd been born, fully cared for at last. Now he was fed and warm and nothing could take that away. And for the first time since she'd been on Earth, Summer actually felt safe.

The smile stretched on her face, curling up happily on the couch as David stood up, crossing over to the counter of the kitchen. Summer didn't even glance up. It started to dawn on her just how much security David had given her.

Screw her own safety; that didn't matter. But Ewin mattered. David cared, and that meant that Ewin had a chance at life. Summer didn't have to scrap for food anymore. She didn't have to sleep with one eye open, knowing so many people could, and would, hurt her. Not anymore.

Ewin's cheeks looked plump and pink. Healthy. He squirmed in her arms with a strength Summer had never seen in him, only now realising just how fragile he was before. Now he could have everything he wanted.

She dangled her finger in front of his face and watched, feeling the love swell in her heart as his round bright eyes followed her fingertip diligently, glistening with amazement.

Summer chuckled. "How about I get you another bottle, huh, mister?" she murmured, crossing the room to his basket, left by the end of the sofa. David had fed her baby; now she wanted her turn. She wanted to be his mum. She set Ewin down in the basket and scooped up the bottle from the counter where David had left it. David himself was staring at the laptop, open on the kitchen counter, his fingers tapping the keys every now and then. Summer barely noticed him as she filled up the bottle with the still warm water of the kettle.

"Looks like everyone's making new friends today." David said, his eyes flickering up from the laptop screen to smile at her.

Summer smiled back, unable to do anything else as she scooped the formula powder into the bottle and screwed the lid back on. The bottle was warm in her hands, and she ran through the usual 'Is it too warm?' worries that flittered through her mind. She'd never had to worry when she'd breast fed. "Really?"

"Yeah." David leant back from the screen. "My cousin's met some dude in New Mexico. She's tagged it 'Homelessness can be hot'." He chuckled, turning the laptop round for Summer to see. "I guess that's Darcy for you."

Summer's eyes roamed over the page, but she was instantly drawn to the facebook picture, opened unmistakably in the middle of the screen. The smile died on her face. She barely felt anything, numbness washing through her as her eyes were glued to the screen. She didn't notice the lightness of her hands. She didn't see the concern in David's frowning orbs. She didn't hear the crash of the bottle smash against the kitchen tiles, nor the screams of her baby, scared by the noise.

All she saw was the smiling face of the man who had ruined her life, every part of him the same as she remembered it, save for his human clothes and lighthearted expression: Thor.


	7. Chapter 7

"_Where's the one he used to know  
It seems so long ago…"_

**Chapter 7**

_Well... this was unexpected_: Loki could feel his heart pump madly as he sat in Odin's throne, holding Odin's staff. The staff of a king.

Him...

Suddenly the Hall looked a lot vaster than he remembered. Bigger. Grander. Emptier. Was this how Odin felt every time he sat up here, two guards flanking him as they did Loki now? Loki could feel the power coursing through him from the staff.

It hadn't taken long to realise Frigga was not going to take up responsibility, let alone be ready to grant Loki what he wanted. He should have forseen that. His heart had cracked a little as he'd walked into Odin's chambers... only to walk straight back out again after catching that heartbroken, destroyed look on the Queen's face.

He held nothing against Frigga. For both past or present. She hadn't taken him from the temple. She hadn't banished Summer. And in his heart, he knew she would help him - if she were not torn apart by sadness herself. He knew how she felt; she'd lost her Summer. Loki couldn't do anything but sympathise with her pain. But her hope... now that was where he was concerned.

The staff felt heavy in his hand, as if Loki was carrying the weight of the duty it represented too. His eyes ran over it curiously; this was the thing that had sent Summer away. There had to be some link to Midgard through this. Was it still connected?

He had hope for Summer. It had driven him every day since her banishment, and Frigga held hope that her husband would wake again. But could Loki feel that too? Did he really actually want the man to wake up again?

Forgiving Odin was near impossible now. Loki honestly wasn't sure if he could do it anymore. He'd ruined Loki's life, he'd lied to him...was there any forgiving that?

It's different now, Loki thought, moving the staff from one hand to the other. This could restore his life, his love, just as it had banished her. The cool pressure of the mermaid necklace at the base of his throat seemed to spur him on. Loki's head swam with the possibility of his dreams coming true all so easily; he slumped back in the throne, the tip of the staff touching ground again as he tried to compose himself. He could really do-

"Allfather, we must speak with you urgently!"

Sif's sharp voice echoed round the Hall, and Loki snapped his eyes up to the entering warriors, fists to their shoulders. His face washed blank, a chilling combination of hatred and irritation smoothing out his previous wonder. Now he was impassive, his 'friends' pausing with surprise where they stood.

His gaze washed over them, reading the shock in their eyes at finding Loki on the throne, with the king's staff. What could he say to them? The more he looked at these people in front of him, the more he felt only distain towards them. They were Thor's companions, not his. Still..."My _friends_." The word felt bitter on his tongue, and he had no doubt it came across in his voice. Not that he cared much. He had no time for Thor's backup team. Especially after he'd heard them talk, revealing what they truly had thought of him after they thought he'd left...

It was as if his voice had broken the spell, the shock wiped clear of the Warrior's faces. They snapped back to focus, contuing their bold stride forward.

Still, Loki more than understood their hesitation. They had expected Odin (come to talk about one or both of his sons, no doubt) and now they find him, Loki, instead. A glimmer of pride rattled through him at rattling their plans. He could see their wariness, hear it in Fandral's voice: "Where's Odin?"

His heart plummetted at the thought of his father, bringing back all the numbing memories. So much had happened, so quickly... perhaps it was a little overwhelming, his voice softening: "Father has fallen into the Odinsleep." To these people, at least, Odin was still his father. They didn't - and wouldn't, if Loki had anything to do about it - know the truth. "Mother fears he may never awaken again."

That sent a flicker of fear through him that he resented. He hated Odin, he reminded himself. But his body wasn't used to being so venomous to the man who'd cared and raised him all these years. It still felt a touch of care, of concern for the fallen king. Still, Loki powered through it. One day, he'd think of Odin and feel nothing but contempt for the man. Of that he was sure.

In the meantime though, he had to keep focued - Summer.

Sif's voice snapped him back from his thoughts, drawing his attention to the warriors before him; "We would speak with her?"

_Traitors_, he couldn't help but think when he saw them. They fought for the good of Asgard and it's citizens - or so they claimed. Yet they'd stand by a villainous prince and turn a blind eye to the wrong he'd done to the innocent?

Loki's eyes flickered up and focused again. His thoughts turned to Frigga. A part of him knew that he should be angry at her for lying to him too all these years, just like Odin had.. but it was that same thought that also gave him hope. Anyone could see that the goddess loved her sons, loved Loki. If she could, knowing what he was, maybe Summer could too.

"She has refused to leave my father's bedside." he told the warriors truthfully. He hadn't taken up this throne and staff out of cold hearted oppertunity - he'd done it because he was the only one left. It just so happened to fall into his favour.

If Frigga had been likely to bring Summer back, he definitely was. Confidence soared through him.

He wasn't sure if Odin would Summer back, or if Frigga would - but who was there to stop him when his brother was gone, his father was down and his mother was weeping? He would be a fool not to take this chance. They wouldn't send her back a second time. Not if it had hurt so much the first time, as Odin had said. And now with their grandchild...

But for now, he had to deal with the Warriors. His attention fell back to the fighters on the floor of the Hall, staring up at him, waiting. His fingers curled modestly to touch his chest; it was his job regardless of his motives. He had to remember that. He had a right to be here while none of his other family were able. They should all be grateful he was taking up the burden at all. It wouldn't take Asgard long to fall into chaos without a ruler. "You can bring your urgent matter to me." he said softly.

_Instead_, he added in his head. _Instead of Odin, intead of Thor. Me. On my own. Why not?..._the moment he started to rise, Loki knew it was the right thing to do. It felt right. Instinct guided his actions and he knew what the words were long before they came out of his mouth, knew that he was strong enough to take on the power he needed for Summer. This was his moment. This was his chance: "Your king."

The light bang of the staff on the marble floor echoed around the Hall, and power radiated through it. Loki would have almost laughed at the shock on his friend's faces, were he not himself drowned in what he'd just said. King...

He may be that temporarily... but if Thor was banished, then who else was there to take the throne in the long run? Odin had no other sons, and unless he was willing to reveal Loki's identity to the world, Loki would be his new heir. Would be the new king someday.

The thought was only just settling into his mind as he watched the warriors reluctantly drop to their knees before him. He watched them carefully, watched their heavy movements as they accepted his words. Sceptical glances amongst each other, disgruntled looks, a significant hesitation before they'd acted at all... but they'd accepted it. And if the fiercest warriors in the realm weren't going to deny him, then who would?

If he had the authority of a king and no one to question him, then there as no one to question his actions. He could bring Summer back effortlessly.

"My King." Oh, this is priceless, Loki thought to himself. The woman who had been calling him jealous only the day before now had her voice emploringly softened to him, asking him for something they needed his help for. "We would ask that you end Thor's banishment."

Now they ask for me for help; Loki's head was swelling with ego as his head started to shook, his mind made up before he could even blink. He took his first step down to his companions. "My first command cannot be to undo the Allfather's last." He broke lightly.

Not that he would bring that brute back even if the entire fate of Asgard depended on it. It would be nice to see him again though - to see his reaction when he found out that Loki had inherited his throne and title, everything he'd ever wanted... but if Thor was there to see it in person, Loki wasn't sure if he'd be alive at the end of the fight to gloat. Just thinking of the dangerous anger that would flare through Thor sent shivers down his spine. He wasn't going to risk everything he'd achieved for the sake of some petty pride.

_Time for some tact_, he reasoned in his head, as he drank in the wary warriors before him. He couldn't win their trust, but he needed to be able to keep them satisfied enough to stay out of the way. "We're on the brink of war with Jotunheim." he started. "Our people need a sense of continuity, in order to feel safe in these difficult times." Plausible. Exactly, the opposite of what Thor would do. What the people felt wouldn't matter to him as long as he felt glorified. "All of us must stand together, for the good of Asgard."

_For the good of Asgard_... the warriors motto. They wouldn't go against that. In his head, Loki grinned triumphantly.

Loki saw the defiance flash in Sif's eyes a second before she tore to her feet, caught from moving forwards by Fandral's quick reactions. He held onto her forearm, sycophantic eyes glistening charmingly. "Yes, of course."

Loki knew Fandral would be on his side. On the side of anyone who was in power. It was Sif he needed to keep a close eye on; she was the free-thinker. "Good. Then you will wait for my word."

He'd had almost forgotten Volstagg and Hogun, so preoccupied with Fandral and Sif, until the large warrior spoke up. "If I may ..." Loki fought the urge to roll his eyes. Volstagg's considerate tone was going to test his patience. "Beg the indulgence of Your Majesty... to perhaps reconsider-"

"We're done!"

Loki didn't have time for this. He knew his snap wouldn't do him any favours, but he wanted them all gone, so he could get on with his plans. He wanted Summer back and it was so close... if only these four would just _leave_!

Volstagg sprung to his feet and the three others followed him slower, all wearing a dark look that Loki didn't trust. He knew what was going through their heads: he was Thor's brother, yet he wouldn't bring him back, just because it was inconvenient? Perhaps he had acted too brashly, Loki reconsidered, not that he could do anything about it now. He should have been calmer, more diplomatic in his dismissal, like he had other business to attend to.

His snap echoed in is head as the warriors rose to their feet, eying Loki with a combination of confusion and suspicion. _Too late now_... his eyes lingered on Sif as she was the last to leave, a look in her eye betraying that she wouldn't just let this go. Perhaps he hadn't fooled everybody.

All the same... he was king.

Loki turned his back to the closing doors, his head deep in thought. There was much for him to consider. "Leave me." he barked to the guards, striding back up to the throne.

Odin's throne.

As soon as the Hall doors boomed shut, announcing his solitude, the weight of his loneliness suddenly crashed into him, Sif's dark, wary eyes achoing in his head. The truth of what was happening, what he was wanting to happen started to truly sink in.

He cast the staff away with a shout, as it it were burning his hand. Perhaps it was his conscience that was the true target though, trying to rekindle the loyalty to his 'father'. Either way, Loki couldn't afford the weakness, for Summer's sake: the staff hit the floor with a crack, though nothing had broken, it's weight pinning it to the floor without bouncing. It rolled once, then was still.

Loki tried to control the wave of emotions within him. He screwed his eyes shut, and tore his helmet from his skull. That made more impact than the staff did; with an almost feral scream or rage Loki flung the helmet as hard as he could to the far wall. It clanged harshly, the sound echoing with its masters cry of outrage and clattered to the floor. Loki's eyes flickered to the doors, suddenly conscious that the sound might have alerted the guards. He held his breath for a tense moment... but thanked the gods when everything remained still.

The breath left him ragged, broken. _What was happening?_ he thought stunned, staggering back into the throne's seat. How could this all be happening? So fast, so out of control...

His chest moved fast with his rasping breaths, fightting to cling to his control. This power... it wasn't his. It was too much. The look in Sif's eyes had sparked something within him. She didn't trust him- but did Loki trust himself? It was like she knew he was different, that he was not worthy of the place of rule.

But Thor was? Odin had deemed him ready for this? The thought was simply ludicrous! Thor would take this power and abuse it in a heartbeat. War would never end, Asgard's noble name would be in tatters, all for the pride of one arrogant fool.

Asgard wasn't his home by blood, but he clutched at it in his heart, not wanting to succum to the frozen wastelands of Jotumheim just yet. He didn't want to admit that was what he'd come from.

He felt so alone. He needed Summer back, but he didn't know how. He was poised in place to achieve everything he wanted... and only then did he realise there was the grand scheme to consider. He'd still be temporary king after he brought her back... but the warriors didn't trust him. And while Odin and Frigga wouldn't, the Warriors would have no reservations about sending Summer back again. They didn't trust him - what if they took the throne while he was gone bringing Summer back?

He had to play this carefully. _Think._ Perhaps not the Bifrost then. Some other way, a way he didn't have to leave for... his eyes fell on the staff, the instrument that had started this whole mess. He scrambled from his seat until he threw himself down unkingly-like, pitifully at the staff's side.

His fingers grasped it's length, wondering what he had to do. Think about Earth? Think about Summer? He'd never heard Odin speak when he commanded it, so that couldn't be the secret.

He steadied it in his hands, rising to his feet. His eyes were narrowed and focus as he regained his composure, holding the staff out proudly as thoughts of Summer and Asgard filled his head. He wanted her now. He felt power course through his fingertips, sending his heart racing. Perhaps he could do this after all.

The head of the staff gleamed with power and the smile started to crack disbelievingly at Loki's mouth. This was it - he was really doing it! Summer...

He was thrown back though as a blast of energy exploded wildly from the staff, wrenching his hands away so the weapon clattered to the floor unmastered. Loki hit the floor with a sickening thud, unable to help the cry of pain. His shoulder crashed into the hard floor and he endured the bounce of his body, until he stilled, pain flaring through his shoulder and side.

It was nothing compared to the pain in his chest though. His eyes stared wide and glassy: he'd failed. He_ couldn't_ bring Summer back. He wasn't worthy enough. He couldn't control such colossal power.

He'd failed.


	8. Chapter 8

"_And when the golden sun arises far across the sea  
The dawn will break as darkness fades forever we'll be free…"_

**Chapter 8**

"I never get used to seeing him like this." Loki breathed, not sure if he was talking to his mother or just to himself as he stared down at Odin's tranquil face through the gold tinted glimmer.

He felt numb inside. He'd tried to bring Summer back and that had failed, and that knowledge crushed him inside more than he thought possible. But here it was; he could never misunderstand this pain. But one thing he didn't understand was why he was here, in Frigga and Odin's chambers, at the king's beside. What had drawn him here?

His heart hurt and he wanted to pretend it was because of the hate he felt for Odin. He despised the man in the bed. Perhaps he was here to darkly wish Odin had passed on the secrets of his staff, to anybody even if not Loki, so at least there was someone Loki could wring the information from. Summer would be here now if he had. Or that he'd simply brought Summer back instantly after he'd banished Thor.

But more likely it was something Loki didn't want to admit to: he was upset, and he needed his mother.

Across the bed, Frigga reached through, her delicate fingers ghosting through the golden glimmer that encased her husband to clasp his hand softly. "He's put it off for so long now." she sighed back.

He wanted to make someone else feel as bad as he did... but Odin was unconscious and Thor banished. All that remained was Frigga, and Loki was reluctant to throw away the only person left in Asgard who seemed to like and trust him. He needed some sort of companionship. Frigga was kind, listened, and was sympathetic to what Loki wanted. And with her own husband out of her reach he dared think she might even understand the pain he felt somewhat.

"How long will it last?" he asked, heart filled with bitterness. How much time did he have to wait for his 'father' to wake and bring Summer back for him, as Loki couldn't do it himself.

Frigga's eyes glistened softly. "I don't know." she admitted, not filling Loki with any sort of reassurance. That could mean a long time or no time at all before Odin would awake, and not even she knew which. Loki had to assume it would be the latter. "This time it's different. We were unprepared."

Without the staff all that remained was the Bifrost. As king he could use it, but it would leave the throne vulnerable if he used it. He wasn't sure if the Warriors really were bold or stupid enough to risk treason so openly, so _quickly,_ but he didn't want to take the chance for Summer's sake.

He needed trust, obedience and compliance - control. Without it, he might as well join banish himself along with Thor and Summer and enjoy a life on Earth with her like that. The warriors didn't have to like him, just to have a reason not to unseat him. Being a good king was a reason. But what could he do to ease the tension? Remove the threat of war? Ideal, but how? The idea of forming an alliance with the Jotun's sprang to mind, as Odin had told him in the Casket's holding room... but that was Odin's plan. Loki would not follow Odin's plan. And he'd said they'd no longer matter. Perhaps it was a lost cause.

He had to do something though. How could he secure the people's loyalty so securely? How had Odin done it? Odin was a hero from saving mankind, for vanquishing the Frost Giants and driving them back. The ultimate hero... Loki's eyes brightened sligtly as it hit him.

End the war. That was key, somehow. Either quash the Frost Giants even greater than Odin had before, or end the war without fighting. Without death.

He liked the second option better. A lot less likely as to what Thor would do.

Laufey had said they were beyond diplomacy but that was before. That was against Odin. Loki was a different matter...

He blinked back down to the man in the bed, wishing he could have just saved Summer before slipping away. That would have made everything bearable. Forgivabe, even. "So why did he lie?" He asked.

He'd heard Odin's side of the story, but what about Frigga's? Or maybe it wasn't about comparing stories at all. Maybe it was just to reassure himself that someone cared. That monster as he was, that wasn't the end. "He kept the truth from you so you would never feel different." She said softly. "You are our son, Loki, and we, your family."

_Some family_, Loki scoffed in his head. His brother raped the woman he loved, his father banished her and his mother just stood by and let it happen - what sort of a family was that?! Not that it mattered, he told himself. He was going to make it right. Odin had done the first step by getting rid of Thor. Summer was all that was left.

"We mustn't lose hope that your father will return to us." Frigga went on. Loki felt like burying his head in his hands and letting out a groan at her words. He wanted Odin back, just to bring back Summer. Then Loki would sit back and never bother the King ever again. His eyes lifted dully to Frigga's, half wishing there was something she could do. The life snapped coldly back to him at her next words though: "And your brother."

Loki blinked, his mind sharpening instantly. Odin, he could spare some hope for, but Thor... no. His fists clenched, glad that they were out of Frigga's view, but there was no masking the way the blood drained from his face though. "What hope is there for Thor?" He breathed.

Frigga's eyes sparkled, her voice soft as if she were imparting a great comfort rather than Loki's worst nightmare. Of course, she wanted her son back, Loki sneered. Loki didn't. He wanted Summer. And they couldn't both exist. It was either one or the other. "There's always a purpose to everything your father does." She said with a small smile.

Loki only just managed to keep the horror off his face, feeling it clench deep in his heart. _Thor... might come back?_ No! That couldn't happen. That, beyond anything, could not happen.

_No_, he told himself, rising silently from his seat. There was nothing more to say. If Odin and Frigga wanted Thor back...no. They would chose him over Summer. They couldn't chose both. No matter how much Odin claimed to care. If he had been planning to bring Thor back, even as he sent him away, then Summer never stood a chance. His eyes were dark and downcast, smoothly avoiding Frigga's as he turned and strode from the room. _Summer._ He still had her. He didn't stop walking, letting his legs guide him to where he wanted to be.

His fist pounded insistently on Sif's door to her chambers, his teeth gritted. He could feel his tension rising, his patience fading. After a silent moment, he heard a faint scrabbling behind the door. Still; his patience was thin. He pounded on the door even still.

When it finally swung open, Sif was hugging a cream coloured night gown around herself, some of her dark battle wear still beneath it, her braided hair hanging over her shoulder. He must have interupted her getting ready for bed. Her eyes looked tired. Tired, sad and angry. Even more so when she saw her visitor.

Loki's hand shot out before she could close the door on him. "I need to know where Heimdall sent you." he growled, forcing the door wide open.

He watched the woman's eyes widen with recognition, but harden seconds later with distrust. Her mouth thinned. "I don't think-"

"I don't care what you think!" Loki yelled, his rage flying up inside him. His fist pounded into the doorframe as he loomed forward, eyes as painfully ablaze as his soul. "I need to know where he sent you! I need to know where she is!"

He knew Sif was far from his friend, but he had little choice. She knew. She knew where Summer was... and Loki couldn't take it anymore. He had to see her, had to bring her back. If no one else would, he had to. He had to see her, to feel her at last, know she was safe by seeing it with his own eyes, make a promise with his own lips.

His anger snapped what little control he had inside him and he grabbed at the collar of her night gown, dragging her roughly closer. Her teeth gritted resiliantly, and her fingers flew to Loki's forearm. She didn't throw him off though. Loki wasn't sure if she was just giving him a chance to back off or if his anger was just sending his strength sky high with adrenalin. It didn't matter anymore. All he wanted was her answer.

"You know, and I need to know as well." he sneered. She knew and he had to tell him. If she didn't... he didn't know what he'd do. He just couldn't take it anymore. He needed to see Summer. This might be his last chance. If what Frigga implied was true, then he might only have until Odin woke up before his chances would be dashed again. Maybe forever, just as before Thor's banishment.

Sif's orbs were hard and unyielding and Loki felt the overwhelming urge to just strike her, to just beat it out of her as he would any man. He caught himself just in time.

"Please!" he hissed furiously, fingers clenching at the collar of her night gown. She drew in a sharp breath, her eyes widening as her head tipped back slightly, warily. One more move, Loki read in her orbs, and she would fight back. She'd been holding back already, maybe just due to his authority, but even she had a limit.

But there was something else, a tiny glimmer - fear. It was gone in a second, but not before he'd seen, not before his heart reminded him when the last time he'd seen that fear in a woman's eyes before. Summer...

His breaths were harsh and rapid as his orbs swirled back to himself, the anger draining out quickly. What was wrong with him...what had he turned into...

His hand smoothed out from her collar and he grasped her shoulder, feeling the despair within him rise. His heart clenched painfully in his chest. His eyes bled with earnest, with plea, knowing that was all he had left now...he'd beg if he had to. He'd beg for Summer. "Please..." his voice croaked fragilely.

He knew Sif didn't like him, and he didn't care in that minute. She could hate him as much as she wanted - if only she'd give him a location.

For a moment they just stared at each other.

Then her orbs started to soften.

He felt the pressure ease as she released her hard grip from his forearm, and breathed a sigh of relief, knowing the pain on his face must be more than evident. A part of him wanted to be ashamed of himself. But the ruling part shoved it aside. It didn't matter. If it would get a location, he wouldn't need to feel such pain ever again.

Finally, the warrior sighed and her shoulders slumped. Her eyes gleamed softly - and Loki's heart warmed to the sympathy he found in them.

"Portsmouth." she eventually breathed. "I took her to her housing residence. I talked to her. She..." she sucked in a shaky breath. "She was not in a good place." she revealed, orbs shimmering with concern.

Loki's heart stilled. "Where?" he pressed desperately. "Please, I'll do anything..."

A heavy sigh from Sif was all that barred him before she told him. His heart filled with premature hope as she told him of addresses, details...

"Thank you." he gushed breathlessly, legs twitching to just run for the Bifrost, to take him to where he needed to be. He would be there. Soon. He could find her. It would take him no time at all, after what Sif had told him. His eyes solidified a serious moment: "Tell no one of this." he warned, his voice low.

He strode from Sif's chambers with his spirits higher than they had been in months, an end to his misery in sight at last.

The warrior watched him go from her door, her brow furrowing with suspicion. She shrugged of her gown and tugged the tie out of her braid, freeing the ends. The night was not yet over anymore.

XXX

"No, no, no..." Summer's face was white as a sheet as she staggered back from the laptop screen, only stopping when her back thudded against the fridge freezer behind her.

The blue eyed, blonde haired monster taunted her across the kitchen.

"Whoa..." David leapt up in a heartbeat, his brow furrowed. His concerned orbs shot to Summer and he moved to comfort her - were it not for the sea of glass in his way. He hovered on the edge, trying to think clearly. He was torn between practicality and blind concern, eyes flickering between the glittering floor and Summer's panicked form.

The laptop screen, he thought, following Summer's wide orbs. It had all started when he'd shown her the picture. His hand reached over and snapped the laptop shut, but it didn't matter - the damage was done.

His heart skipped a beat as Summer's hands rose to rake through her hair, her back sliding weakly down the fridge freezer. "Don't move!" He ordered, hand shooting out in warning. If she sat amongst all that glass... his hand shot for the broom, grabbing the handle across the counter from within the kitchen and pulling it over. His eyes flew back to Summer and he was alarmed to see tears streaking her cheeks. When had she started crying? What was going on? What was it about that man that had freaked her out like that?

"This isn't real..." she breathed, more to herself than David, he knew as he worked frantically just to clear a path to Summer. She half stood, her lower body folded over and her hands in her hair. She started to rock. "This can't be happening..."

"I don't understand." David finally choked out, stepping forward as he shoved all the glass across the room. He threw the broom with it. "What's going on?"

He crossed his forged path and knelt on one knee, glass still scattered around Summer's feet. His hands clasped her upper arms and guided her fully upright with him. God, she looked a state. Her hands clawed in her hair, her eyes wide and glistening with a fear David wasn't sure he wanted to understand. He pulled her clear of the kitchen swiftly, guiding her to the sitting room.

He'd planned for her to sit down, looking like she needed it... but as soon as her eyes caught it she tugged herself free of his hold. Her hands shoved his away aggessively, making a bee line for the moses basket holding her screaming baby.

"Summer, tell me."

She barely heard him as she crouched down and scooped Ewin up, hugging him close. It was all a dream, all a nightmare, she told herself, holding her baby to her shoulder. Ewin... she let him fill her thoughts, feeling his tiny heart beat against her racing one. He was sweet, he was good... and yet thought of his evil father crept through still. Summer's face crumpled as she bowed slightly at the waist.

Hands secured on her upper arms and forced her upright again. Her eyes were blazing when they met David's though. "Tell me!" he half yelled at her, the end of his own patience in his swirling orbs. "What the hell's going on?!"

Summer didn't have the hands to brush him off this time, but she squirmed all the same. She only stopped when she realised she wasn't getting anywhere. "He's Ewin's father!"

That did it. That one scream, wrenching from her throat so hard it hurt, just froze David. The anger paused on his face for a second before her words sank in, melted with the agonised look in her eyes... then his face paled. A tenderness washed into his orbs as he pieced it together. "He's..." he trailed off, eyes flickering to the baby. Then his head started to shake. "But he's in America."

Summer knew the disbelief wasn't solid. He believed her alright. Her heart ached in her chest as her eyes started to water afresh; she didn't want to believe her. She'd give anything...

"He shouldn't be here." she forced out, fighting to keep her voice from trembling. "I..." she bowed her forehead against Ewin as her lip quivered, determined not to break. Even when she'd hauled in a composing breath though she didn't look up.

She wasn't sure she could do this again. The first time...there'd been Loki to hold her. Who was there now? She'd never actually even said it aloud. Loki had just found her. She didn't want to say it; it was like admitting it was real, and she did not want to do that. Not yet. She wasn't ready.

She wasn't sure if David was going to give her a choice though. She understood. He'd helped her - it was only right for him to know exactly what he was getting himself into.

His hands softened on her arms and she didn't resist as he eased closer. "Summer." he said softly, teasing her glistening gaze up from her baby. His orbs were gentle, understanding. "Is he dangerous?"

Summer could answer that. She nodded firmly.

Then next one though..."Did he hurt you?"

Something inside her flinched, and she felt her eye twitch on the outside. Her lip could't hold back it's quiver anymore and she buried her head in shame.

"Hey, it's okay." David's voice was soft in her ear as he pulled her in and wrapped his arms around her and Ewin, his hands on her back and the back of her head. The first tears splashed on his shoulder.

It was far from okay, Summer thought in her head as she tried to comfort both herself and the screaming baby. It was like Ewin knew something was wrong, that his father was bearing down on them at last. But why was he here? Thor had always resented her mortality - why would he come to a whole planet of them?

Unless it was for her. It had to be. What was going to happen? Was he going to finish the job? Was he coming for Ewin? Her arms clenched protectively around the infant. From her cold, dead fingers, she thought with venom.

"What if he wants Ewin?" she thought aloud, eyes round and glistening as she pulled back from David's embrace. "I can't let him take him, David, I can't."

She hadn't meant to tear up again, but it happened all the same as she shook her head, refusing to believe the thoughts in her head might become real. If Ewin was gone, she'd have nothing. He was her baby. She'd grown him, cared for him - she loved him more than words could say, no matter how he'd come into existance and nobody - no god of thunder, even - was going to take that away from her.

Suddenly, the safe haven of David's arms was gone and she blinked up to find him striding across the room. She blinked in surprise. "W-where are you going?"

He snatched up his mobile from the kitchen counter and pulled up the laptop screen, Thor's smiling face still there taunting Summer. She felt her heart wrench just looking at him. David quickly changed the page to his cousin's profile and Summer watched on as he clicked the message button across the screen from the picture of a dark haired, sassy looking girl.

"I'm telling my family what he did." he said in a dark voice, his fingers flying over the keys. "I can't beat him up or have him arrested while he's in a different country."

Summer's eyes widened instantly. "No!" she burst, moving forward without thinking. David paused, and glanced at her over his shoulder. He looked angry, quietly simmering in his usually calm orbs. Summer lowered hers to the ground. "I don't want people to know."

That wouldn't cut it for David; his head shook slowly. "He hurt you, Summer." His voice was low and threatening. Summer had never known David to get angry before. "He did unthinkable things to you and I won't let him get away with it."

"David, please..."

She didn't want people to know, let alone David's family, people who knew her. It was a matter of pride. She didn't want people to know how badly things had fallen for her.

And then there was the more important fact: would she even be believed? She had little doubt Thor would be any less charming, convincing and influential even without his princely, godly status. It was just who he was.

Summer's stomach clawed and she fought to stop herself throwing up. She wasn't as successful with the tears though.

She hugged Ewin tight as she heard David punch in more keys on the laptop, then moved to his mobile phone, texting as an additional bonus. God, he was being thorough, Summer thought. Sending both a message and a text to make sure Thor's treachary got through. She tried to fight down the fear inside her if Thor knew she'd set the alarm off on him. He could really hurt her if he wanted to...

"Please don't, David." she breathed feeling light headed. If Thor could come to Earth then why wasn't Loki here too? She needed him. So, so badly... her eyes lifted glistening to David's. His phone hovered in his hand, orbs dark and swirling. His jaw was taunt. "It's my word against his. There's no way to prove it."

He was resolved: "There's DNA tests." he insisted, letting his phone clatter on the kitchen counter, message yet unsent. Summer wondered what he was saying, what words he'd used to describe Thor's horrific deeds. "We'd do it. We'll do everything it takes to bring him down, Summer." He crossed the distance between them and grasped her upper arms firmly, his emerald eyes bearing meaningfully into hers. "I won't let him hurt you."

The tears just spilled, silently, down Summer's cheeks. Why was this happening to her? "Why are you doing this?" she moaned, crossed with a sob. She just wanted to forget, get as far away from Thor as possible. Not face him. Not confront him. No good would come of it.

Not without Loki on her side to help her.

The anger stilled in David's eyes and his jaw relaxed, drinking in her miserable state. Summer's eyes were leaking, holding her baby to her chest. She looked so vulnerable...

His heart ached to see her like that. He'd never seen her so afraid. He'd seen her sad, yes, but only on the day she'd broken up with him back in high school. Other than that she'd always been happy, always smiling. He'd heard her mother passed away not long after they'd graduated; he could only guess things had started to go downhill from there.

But that was just a guess. Bad luck only went so far. For someone to assult her, impregnate her and leave her scared enough for them to get away with it... David could hardly come to terms with it. He wanted to see that smile again.

"Oh Summer..." he breathed, reaching out a gentle hand to cup her wet cheek, running his thumb across it. "Isn't it obvious?"

Summer hadn't noticed the way he'd stepped closer, slowly easing the gap between them. Her miserable eyes were just locked on his gentle ones. David was always so kind, so caring - what the hell did she do to ever deserve someone like him? Even in high school...

She leaned into his warm palm without realising it, David giving her the comfort she craved. She needed this tenderness. She just wanted to feel loved and safe again; and leaning into David's palm, his other finding her shoulder kindly, she did.

Her breath sighed over David's palm at the same time Ewin's screams started to fade into whines and whimpers, soft and vulnerable. She hugged him tighter. She wanted to shush in his ear, knowing that always soothed him, or feed him, or talk to him... but right then she was just lost in the man who had saved her. She couldn't tear her eyes off David.

He was here. Ewin liked him. He would do anything for her... the disbelieving smile tugged soflty at David's lips as he stared down at Summer with glowing eyes. His thumb stroked her cheek, before bravely running along her bottom lip. Summer didn't even blink.

_She really didn't realise_, he understood. She didn't know how special she was, how beautiful. And she didn't understand how much he cared for her, even after all these years.. it was so obvious to him, clear as crystal.

His mouth dipped down smoothly and pressed to hers.

Neither one of them noticed the subtle shift in the air as a tall, slim figure materialised in the living room doorway, draped in black and green. Just for a gasping second. His emerald green eyes widened at what he saw.


	9. Chapter 9

_"Never forget  
What I did, what I said..."_

**Chapter 9**

_Summer sat at the desk, the streams of letters from her admirers adorning the wooden surface. Paper was strewn everywhere. The only organisation there was the single pot of ink beside the only clean, fresh piles of paper in the center. _

_A quilled hand hovered over it, thinking as bright green eyes scoured over the words of the letter spread out immediately beside it. All that was written on the new paper thus far were the words 'Dear Folkvar'._

_Teeth tugged lightly at Summer's lower lip as she read and thought about what to write in return._

_Her mind ran blank though as gentle hands slowly found her shoulders, running softly down to her upper arms. The smile bathed on her face; she knew who this was. Thor was incapable of being so gentle. _

_She pressed her lips together to compose her grin as she felt him lean down behind her, his breath by her ear. "Are you trying to distract me?" she chuckled slyly._

_The hands stopped their journey along her arms. "Is it working?"_

_Summer resisited the urge to giggle, knowing that would be playing right into his hands. She leaned back into them instead, setting the quill down on the desk. His chest touched the back of her shoulders, and she tipped her head back, feeling the tip of his chin against the crown of her head. _

_It was everything she took not to just give in to the fluttering of her heart, and just beam shamelessly. She clung to her resolve._

_Loki's arms closed around her and he pulled her back against his chest, lips nuzzling softly into the side of her neck. Summer's eyelashes fluttered. "Loki..." slipped from her sighing lips._

_She was helpless to resist the way her heart skipped a beat as he held her gently, warmly. She loved when he held her like this. It made her feel so safe... her eyes fluttered shut and she surrendered to the sensations being dotted lovingly into the side of her neck. Finally, that traitorous giggle broke through, as Loki's teeth lightly nipped her skin._

_"You're so bad." she chuckled, hand finding his across her middle and lacing their fingers together. Summer clung tight._

_She felt Loki's teeth on her skin again as it smiled. "But don't you much prefer this than responding to countless, hopeless letters of adoration? When the adoration is right here in person."_

_The letters - they'd been driven completely from her mind! Her eyes snapped open and she straightened up, finding the quill again. Her other hand left Loki's to flatten the letter back on the desk, to focus on. Or try to, Loki's winding arms following her every movement. They pinned her upper arms to her sides, too restricted to bring the quill to paper to write anything. _

_Her shoulders slumped, waiting. "Let me go, Loki." she ordered firmly when he didn't move. She wriggled her shoulders testingly; he didn't budge. "It's only polite to reply to these. Come on!"_

_She barely had time to gasp as Loki's arms loosened - and his foot kicked the chair around with a heart racing skid, so she was facing him. His hands braced down on the arms of the chair almost instantly, his bright, mischevious eyes glowing into hers. His smile...gods, where did she start?_

_"You don't have to." he grinned. "You can show their rejection by taking a stroll with me through the streets." _Like you had with Thor,_ he added bitterly in his head, though he shoved the dark thought away quickly._

_Summer's shoulders slumped again, glittering eyes meeting his squarely. "That's not fair." she mused through pressed lips fighting their smile._

_Loki just shrugged. "But effective." he argued. "Less time consuming than replying to each individual letter."_

_His eyes darted to the desk, and before Summer could stop him, the realisation of what he was about to do widening her eyes, he swiped the letter on the desk. The one Summer had been trying to reply to. _

_He held it high in the air as she leapt up from her seat, reaching for it desperately. Her hands pulled and pushed on his arms and shoulders, her body stretched up with his as she tried to reach. But Loki was much taller than her. She had no chance._

_He grinned with triumph as he angled the front downwards to read. A bark of laughter left him before any actual words: "__Flames of passion dance in her eyes, she makes my heart ache with desire."_

_"Loki, give it back!" she screeched, fingers grabbing for it fruitlessly._

_Loki took a step, walking as he read. Summer followed him, reaching for the letter. "Her words are music to my soul that fill me with love and longing." he went on, grin morphing wider the more he read. "Her heart holds compassion and love. Her lips hold a promise of sensual delights.  
Her arms provide security and warmth."_

_Summer jumped and almost touched the same level as the letter. It was close enough for Loki to suddenly duck though, turning and continuing his muse in the opposite direction. In seconds, Summer was at him again._

_"She is as humble as a beggar on the street, yet as noble as a goddess Queen."_

_"Loki, give it back! This isn't fair!"_

_He just chuckled, his spare hand deftly fending off hers. "There is a sense of mystery about her; but for eternity, we could open it together. Accept my hand in marriage, I emplore you, my love, for you are a truly beautiful and amazing creature to behold."_

_"Loki!"_

_"You are the best of my dreams, and soon to be of my life." His voice soured a touch, arm lowering as the last line sent spikes of jealousy through him: "If you would accept my heart and sword, and become my wife."_

_He finished quietly, feeling slightly numb. He didn't notice his arm lower as much as it did: Summer's fingers tore the paper from his grasp and staggered back protectively from him, the note clutched to her chest. A sparkling, secretive look housed in her beautiful orbs, glinting with just as much mischief as Loki's had moments ago._

_He forced the smile to prick on his face again, as he took a step towards her. "I know of him." Loki suddenly mused, the name and living directions of the letter writer echoing in his mind. "Folkvar, son of Edvar. His family run the butchering business."_

_Summer lifted her eyebrows, as if impressed. Her teasing eyes let on her joke though. "Really? Maybe I should marry him then..."_

_"You would not go hungry." he agreed, striding slowly closer. "You would want for nothing."_

_Her eyes rolled back for a moment in thought, lips pressing together. "Except for one thing." her lips smiled as her stunning green eyes tinkled at him. Suddenly, they glanced down coyly, a blush touching her cheeks. "I'd want you."_

_That alone made Loki's heart stop in his chest, his breaths stilling. He didn't dare smile, as if afraid she was still teasing him. Her shy, gleaming orbs were strong though. Honest. His lips flickered, breathing into a grin. She wanted him. Summer wanted him, Summer Martins wanted him, Loki Odinson. His heart hurt with how much it filled with wonder and adoration for the perfect woman in front of him - mindblown that she wanted him back, as he wanted her._

_He stepped closer, unable to take his eyes off her face. She was so beautiful. Her deep green eyes gleamed out from her pale face, watching his every move as he moved smoothly closer. _

_His hands found her shoulders, holding her softly. "You'd choose me over all these?" he breathed, leaning in. His head jerked at the desk in indication before he pressed his mouth warmly to hers, kissing her slow and lovingly._

_Summer's lips smiled against his. "Always."_

_XXX_

Loki staggered into the street, doubled over and gasping. His eyes were wide as they stared down at the pavemented ground beneath his boots. All that kept his knees from falling from under him was his arm braced on the brick wall beside him.

He moved away from it with a groan, pulling his hands away. Behind that wall was Summer. And that man. Together. Kissing...

His head fell into his hands and he surrendered to the tidal wave of anguish that had been lapping at him. The moan that left him vibrated through his chest. He felt his heart shatter to pieces in deadly shards, the image he'd just seen ghosting through his head.

He felt sick. He wanted to be sick. To pass out. To wake up. This couldn't be real - Summer wouldn't cheat him like this. She said she loved him, she meant it...so why was she kissing another man? Loki had seen them. The man's head had been bowed low, his lips touching Summer's ... and she had been doing nothing to stop it.

Nothing made sense. Nothing. How could she if she loved him? Him! Only him! She'd chosen him over all those suitors and love letter writing warriors back on his world but here, faced with a mere mortal, she chose differently? It couldn't be. He refused to believe it. Then Summer flashed in his head, in the arms of another and his defiant clenched fists released with a strangled groan.

Nobody had told him this. Was that why Sif had been so reluctant to tell him her location? Had she known? No, he shot down in his head. She couldn't know. Only the cafe staff had pointed him in this direction and even they were unsure.

The thought should have given him hope.. but it didn't.

After everything he'd done for her...she'd given up on him? Even after he'd sent Sif with the message when the baby was being born, to wait, that he was coming...

Or what if she hadn't delivered it like she had said? Anger flared inside Loki at the warrior he'd seen not an hour ago, meeting him squarely in the eye as she had after returning from Earth. She said she had. But could she be trusted?, a voice in Loki's head countered. She, one of Thor's closest confidants and friends.. could Loki really trust her word?

Thunderous steps led him forward, guided with rage and he roared as he drew his fist back and plowed it through the brick, knocking a clear chunk out of the edge of the building. It still wasn't enough. _How dare she_, he growled in his head. She must have betrayed him. There was no way Summer would have done this if she knew he was coming for her.

It was Sif's fault. Loki's fist drove another hunk off the buildings corner. Even after Thor was gone, his friends were doing his job of ruining Loki's life for him.

The list was fast being drawn in his head for revenge: Thor, Odin... and now Sif. Thor's friends couldn't be trusted. They had to be the next to go.

But Summer... what did Loki do about Summer?

How did she feel about this man? Did she love him? Was that it? Or was she simply playing his affections for her survival, to keep her and her baby in better care? He hoped to think - cruel as it was - that it was the latter option. But he simply didn't know.

He wanted to storm back into that house and tear that mortal limb from limb for what he was doing. For what Summer was letting him do. What was going on?

He should go back in, he told himself. He should go in, confront her, get things straight...

She might understand at last. How much he was fighting to see her. He could see it in his mind; her hopeful, round eyes gleaming up at him, salvation at last. His heart ached to think that could all be his. She could all be his. He should be in that mortal's place.

He moved to throw his fist into the wall again, but his strength failed him and he turned at the last minute, thudding his shoulder into the hard brick instead. It knocked the breath out him.

His hand braced on the brick as he gasped, feeling the impact shudder through his bones. What was he doing?, he thought weakly, eyes clashed with confusion. What should he do? Summer... a sharp pain tugged through his heart at the though of her not wanting him, casting him aside after everything...

If he lost Summer, he truly lost everything. Could he really face that?

_No_, he decided, feeling something clench painfully in his heart. He couldn't His back slid down the wall somewhat and he didn't have the will to stop it, his body slumping back. Words couldn't describe Loki's pain, his anger as he dropped down to his knees at last.

_It was his fault_, a part of him screamed inside. His fault for leaving it so long. He should have just come to see her as soon as he could, as soon as Odin was out. Tactics shouldn't have mattered. Reputation shouldn't have halted him. If only he'd come quicker. She must have felt the same as him, the same loneliness, only if Sif hadn't passed on the message, she wouldn't have had a hope to pull her through it like Loki had. He knew how it felt, how crippling it was. Summer had felt that too, and her with a child to support. Perhaps it was too much.

A fragile whine left Loki, and he wished the darkness around would just swallow him whole. God knew how late it was. Summer should be asleep... was she sleeping with _him_?

The thought sent stabs through Loki, the pure consideration. This couldn't be. Not Summer. Not her, anyone but her. Everyone had let him down so far, but Summer had been his constant all through it all, knowing he had her at the other end of the line...only he didn't.

He didn't have anything anymore.

His head lifted slightly, his round, gleaming eyes staring through the darkness. He felt like his heart had been torn from his chest. He hauled in breaths, but his aching lungs felt no more relieved.

And the tears flowed. He felt the wetness on his cheeks and did nothing to stop it. He couldn't help it; he'd lost everything...his hands lowered from his head, numbly settling in his lap, as his throat contracted around the controlled sobs fighting for freedom. Off in the distance he stared down the street, at the various houses that lined the road emptily. What was he doing...

"Summer..." he gasped, starting to tremble, staring ahead vacantly. His shaky fingers lifted of their own accord to his sternum and pressed, feeling the smooth mermaid necklace beneath his clothing.

He couldn't do this anymore. He'd lost his father. He'd lost his brother. He'd lost his friends. And now he'd lost his love. Even the little baby he sought revenge for was out of his reach forever. He was alone. He had no one. He had nothing.

His fingers scrambled to release his collar and he tugged the mermaid necklace free. The metal felt cold on his palm as he stared down at the silver metal, the symbol his people had given this wonderful woman. Every inch of it represened grace, womanhood... and hope. Hope that - for Loki - was now lost. The mermaid he had saved, and had saved him in return: hers was the biggest betrayal of all.

His fingers closed around the ornament and tugged, breaking the delicate chain at the back of his neck with a quiet crack. He screwed his eyes shut and forced another tear to run in the process.

Slowly, he rose to his feet. His heart felt cold and hardened, like it had been hardened by ice. _Of course_, he sneered inwardly. _You are ice_. She'd chosen the warmth flesh of this mortal over him - there was no way he could win her back as he was, as a monster. It was over.

He couldn't imagine it, what his life would be like without Summer in it to brighten his days, even to bring hope to his future. There would be nothing.

The thought troubled him deeply as he turned back round and took long, slow steps back to the house at which Summer was. What would he do now? If everything was for Summer, and she was gone... what would he do? He could abandon everything. Just rule until Odin woke and then simply hand back the throne. He could try and forget, like everyone had wanted him to.

But how could he forget? A quick hard squeeze of his heart that made him gasp a whimpering moan told him that was impossible. Summer was the first woman he'd loved. The first woman he'd seen a future with.

If this was love then he didn't was to feel it ever again, he thought as he took the first step up to the house doorway. He'd keep everyone way, especially now, when he was vulnerable. He didn't want to let someone get this close to hurt him anymore, not like Summer had.

What would he do? He thought as he slowly climbed the steps, his face calm and numb with the inward hurting. He just felt so cold...

Should he let everyone win... everyone except for him? No, something inside him snarled. Why should they? They shouldn't. Everything that happened with Summer was all their fault. And so the pain that crippled him now was also their fault.

The steps ended and he was left facing the plain white door. _White and pure_, Loki thought, _holding his salvation behind it._ His eye roamed over it slowly. He could knock. Would Summer tell him about the man when she saw him or would she just smile and bury it? Would she lie to him... that dug the knife in his heart even deeper and he bowed his head.

The necklace glinted in the moonlight from his palm as he uncurled his fingers. He breathed out a shaky breath. _Oh Summer_...he screwed his eyes shut and let his hand drop.

The necklace chincked quietly as it hit the doorstep, drawing Loki's eyes down to it. It looked so lovely there, so lovely Loki just wanted to scoop it up and clutch it to his breast forever. But she wasn't his to love anymore. He had to let her go. That thought alone felt like it would carve out his soul, but he knew he had no choice.

He turned his back to the door, and the woman behind it who had changed his life. "Goodbye Summer." he breathed.

Then he was gone.


	10. Chapter 10

"_When I gave you all  
My heart and soul…"_

**Chapter 10**

Summer's heart fluttered in her chest.

She... she was being kissed. By David. Shock stilled her, a gasp parting her lips as David's hands gently found her shoulder and cheek, thumbs working tender circles into her skin. His lips pressed firm, yet gentle against hers, moving in a rhythm so slow and sweet Summer felt her heart melt.

The quiet, comforted moan eased from her, aching right down through her chest. She leaned into the embrace as her mind swam with bliss.

The pressure, so sweet, so soft.. so _caring_. It felt like it had been a lifetime since anyone cared. The breath caught in her throat and she gasped again, feeling nothing but her own racing heartbeat.

David's hands firmed on her as he pressed his mouth harder against hers, claiming her breath as his own. His arms wound around her and pulled her close, careful of the tiny baby between them. His chest thudded hard, but deep down there was a comforting presence, feeling happy, warm and satisfied at last. He'd kissed her before, of course, but that was years ago. Now...

He gasped for breath as his lips grazed off hers, his eyes scrunched shut as he tried to process the rush of thoughts and emotions that flooded him. He'd ... he'd kissed Summer... what the hell had possessed him to do that?!

Stepping back, he opened his eyes, running them up and down Summer. Poor, with child, so, so broken...but beautiful. Afraid. In need. Trusting in him.

Her bright, round eyes slowly opened and lifted, glittering, to his. She was breathing heavy too.

David ran a a hand over his mouth, biting his lip behind his fingers. "Oh God..." What was he doing? Every part of him told him Summer was trouble. She'd been attacked, she had next to no qualifications, a dead end job and a child to support already... kissing her was a mistake.

So why did it feel so good? He loved her, he confessed shamelessly in his head. Even after all this time... he still loved her. It didn't matter that she wasn't what he'd expected as a girlfriend. She was his. His Summer. The same sweet, caring soul. And he bet if he only scratched the surface he'd find the happiness he once knew too, her smile...

He could take care of her. He was barely twenty... but he'd do it. For her sake, he'd do it all. He'd take on Ewin, as if he were his own. He'd take care of Summer. They'd be a family.

He felt his eyes glowing as the idea settled in his brain. "Summer..."

Summer's lips were still tingling from the kiss. Her arms hugged Ewin to her chest, his quiet mewls swallowed by the base of her throat. She could feel his little hand clenching in her collar, tugging with his tiny strength.

She was so confused. Staggering back a step, her brow furrowed, surrendering to the overwhelming clash of emotions. A groan slipped her lips.

"Oh my God." she breathed, screwing her eyes shut. She stepped back until she felt the couch touch the small of her back and leaned back against it weakly. Her knees felt shaky. "Please tell me that didn't just happen."

David... Loki... no! She wanted to throw her arms around her head and just forget for a moment, to escape into her own little world. But it was her whole little world, cradled in her arms that held her back. She rearranged her arms around Ewin, her hand cupping the back of his head, holding him to her body. His tiny heart beat against her racing one.

She couldn't bear to look up. Not at David, not now... he'd kissed her. She bit her lip guiltily; and she hadn't done anything to stop it. She'd as good as betrayed Loki.

Did she enjoy it? she found her mind asking herself. She froze as she thought of the answer - yes, she admitted with a shaky breath. She had. Feeling that, being held, being kissed ... she needed it. That comfort...

But from David? No...

"Loki." The tears pricked behind her eyes, but crept through her eyelids regardless. She felt her cheeks moisten.

She needed him...but what if, now, he decided he didn't want her? She'd _cheated_ on him. He would never do that to her. And she was such a burden as it was, with Ewin. What if Loki decided she wasn't worth it after all if she couldn't even wait for him? What if she'd ruined everything forever, just because she'd felt a little lonely?

A quiet, strangled sob escaped her - and David was striding forward instantly. Out of the corner of her eye, Summer caught the movement, his arms opening to comfort her. "Oh, Summer-"

"No!" she shrieked, stumbling along the couch until there was open space behind her for her to retreat to. The wary, almost afraid, flash in her orbs stopped David in his tracks.

She hugged Ewin close, protectively. If Loki wouldn't come how the hell would she do this? How could she ever support him, give him the life he deserved, on her own? Her skin burned traitorously where David had touched her and she suddenly hated herself, a part of her dying inside with shame. How could she have done this? How could she have been so stupid? Loki would be heartbroken...

"Don't touch me!" she half yelled, the tears streaming down her face now. A whine left her, aching from her chest. Her head bowed low as she cried, clinging to her baby as if he was all she had left.

A kiss… he could forgive her a kiss, couldn't he? Loki... he had to. He had to know she cared for him and him alone. He hadn't blamed her when Thor had_… taken advantage_ of her. _But that was different_, a voice in her head hissed condemningly. _That was different and you know it._ She choked back another sob. What if she just didn't tell him? Could she keep such a secret from him?

_That's assuming he's even coming_, something inside her pointed out. He might not come back for her. Thor was here – why wasn't Loki? _David might be all you have now, the best you could ever get…_

"Summer, I…" David stumbled, her weeping form jolting him sharply back to his senses. What had he been thinking? They were discussing about a man who had forced himself on her and he just swoops in and kisses her without warning! Surely that had been how her ordeal started. How could he be so senseless? "I'm sorry. I thought you felt the same way."

He wasn't sure if Summer even heard him, her eyes blinking open, innocently to the floor. Vacant, glazed… miserable. A spare tear leaked over her cheek. "He's not coming back…" she breathed almost inaudibly. "He's left me..."

"You don't want him back." David snapped instantly. He regretted his words the moment Summer flinched. She was feeling sad because of this monster? How? "You're better off without him after what he did to you. Both of you." His eyes flickered to the phone on the kitchen counter. "I'm going to end this."

"No!" Summer half screamed as David made a bee line for the phone, but he shrugged of her sleeve-grasping hand effortlessly. He didn't dare look at her, turning his back solidly as he snatched up the phone and punched in the number.

Holding it to his ear, hearing the ring, he turned to Summer at last. He wanted her in his mind while he outed this man, and he wanted her to hear. She had to know that there was nothing to fear. Not anymore. David would never let that man or any other hurt her ever again. Even if she didn't feel the same way towards him as he felt to her, a part of him admitted quietly inside him.

The phone rang and rang, and Summer's teary eyes rolled skywards, getting a grip on her emotions at last. Then a robotic voice spoke into his ear, denying his call: _"There is not network signal in the area you are trying to reach. This may be due to interference, a signal error …"_

David let the phone down with a sigh, running his hands through his hair. Darcy wasn't answering… signal in the area may be damaged? That had never happened before. All the same, it meant that he was out there with his cousin, walking free after all he'd done.

There was no way to warn anybody about what he was capable of. _He just wasn't human_, David thought with an inward growl. Doing what he did… that wasn't what a man would do.

He cast his eyes over to Summer, drinking in the fragile woman and her baby, clutched in her arms. _What a life, _he thought with a sad sigh. She deserved so much better, so much happiness. And Ewin too. It wasn't his fault who his father was. David felt his heart strings tug painfully, and moved with slow steps towards the pair.

Summer's face just crumpled as he wrapped her gently in his arms, sobbing quietly into his shoulder. He'd be there for her. For as long as she needed him.

XXX

"Loki... what are you doing here?"

_Ensuring you never return_, Loki answered in his head._ Ensuring you never ruin me again. _On the outside though, he kept his face impassive, despite the venomous growl in his thoughts.

He stared at the man sat before him and felt nothing but contempt. Thor didn't look suited to mortal life. Dressed in strange clothes, caked in mud, looking worn and weary... this was a different man to the arrogant prince Loki knew. This looked like the man who'd just lost everything.

_Well, he had_, Loki thought, resisting the urge to glance to where he knew Mjolnir to lie, somewhere through the walls and drapes. Thor's prized weapon...

And now he couldn't even lift it. He had no power, no status, no family... he really did have nothing. Pity wasn't an option for Loki. _Now he knows how I feel_, snarled through his head. _To lose everything. To have nothing and no one left..._staring down at his brother now, sat in the chair, he saw the same deep sorrow in those once bright blue eyes that he understood, that he felt in his heart.

The sting of Summer's betrayal was still deep in his soul, a sharp pain panging every few minutes to remind him of it. It was crippling. His heart was numb for the convulsions. It ached, it hurt, and Loki wanted nothing more than to just crawl in a ball and bawl like a child, to find Frigga and let her hold him through the night like it was all just a nightmare.

Summer's face swam in his mind and he stopped breathing. Her dark waves of hair, her ivory skin, those eyes... he'd seen them sad so many times. But now, in his head they were crinkled in the corners with smiling, her beam dazzling. As if she were happy he was gone.

Was that true? Was she happy at last? She had that man, she had her child, they had a place to live... it didn't look like they were struggling, like she was being abused anymore. She could be happy. Maybe he could give her what Loki could not. Even if Loki brought her back it could not have been for a while; her safety could not be guarenteed yet.

Maybe with this man she was safer than with him. Maybe she was happier. If that was the case... then how could Loki take that away from her?

Even if he couldn't be the one to give it to her.

Even though it killed him inside, so, so much...

But Loki couldn't betray any of that. He had to stay calm, impassive. "I had to see you." He breathed quietly. It wasn't entirely a lie. He did have to see Thor... just not for the reasons he was about to profess.

Thor's eyes glistened fragilely, his voice quiet. "What's happened?" Loki's carefully chiselled expression - dignified sadness - was having the effect it needed to. It was a lot more controlled than the raging monster tearing itself apart inside. Thor's orbs were gleaming, and Loki could see the utter relief in them at just seeing someone he knew, the hope staring to flare subtly. "Tell me." he urged. "Is it Jotunheim? Let me explain to Father-"

"Father is dead."

He was on Earth... it was hard for Loki to believe he was really on Earth. Summer was so close in his reach, and yet so far. A long way away, seperated by land and seas she was breathing the same air, was under the same sky. She should be sleeping now... in _his_ arms?

His anger was starting rise, circling with his despair in a deadly dance, feeding off one another. Anger at her - at everyone! Why him? Why had this all happened to him?!

Going back, he knew he would be in trouble. He'd used the Bifrost, unknowingly of the gatekeeper. Even now, he kept himself shrouded, out of Heimdall's senses. If he heard the words exchanged, knowing they were false... Loki would be doomed, ratted out by Heimdall and...well, what could he do then? The gate keeper didn't trust him as it was.

But then, did it really matter anymore? Perhaps it was worth getting caught. Exile, execution, imprisonment... it would all be welcome compared to this suffering. He had nothing to fight for anymore.

Loki watched the disbelief, the horror sink into Thor's eyes before him - the same expression that bled onto Summer's face when she'd been told she was being send back to Earth, his heart reminded him with a stab of pain.

"What?" Thor gasped.

Oh, it broke his heart thinking of her. Why couldn't she leave his head? Didn't she shed tears for him at all? Didn't she care? Didn't she want him enough to wait for him just that little bit longer, to trust him when he said he was coming?

Maybe he did have something to fight for after all, he thought, his heart contracting, chilled as ice: to make everyone feel as awful as he did. It was all he could think to do now. Why not? He had nothing to lose. None of it mattered anymore. These people weren't exactly innocent either. If he deserved to suffer, then surely they did. Fine - he could do that. If they'd kicked him down, he would drag them down with him too.

It was strange to Loki, feeling… nothing as he spoke of his 'father's death'. He didn't feel guilty, sad, or remorseful. If anything he felt disappointed – disappointed that it wasn't the truth. "You and Summer's banishment, the child, the threat of a new war…" he said quietly. "It was too much for him to bear."

Well, it had been too much - he'd fallen into the Odinsleep because of the strain. Not death, but still… "You mustn't blame yourself." He went on, watching Thor's eyes fall. _What was that?_ flashed sharply thorough his head at the wounded look in Thor's eyes. A humility, a sensitivity he'd never seen before humbled his brother. He almost did feel pity then, hand instinctively twitching to touch Thor's shoulder and comfort him. He resisted - Thor had not comforted him when he'd needed it most. "I know that you loved him. I tried to tell him so, but he wouldn't listen."

The first tear fell, and Loki fought hard to keep his composure. Thor could _cry_?! He had emotions after all? Oh, how much Loki wanted to throw this back at the giant; he could cry now, but at the knowledge his first born was out there, that he might suffer … no, that hadn't mattered to him one bit.

Thor was crying ... and Loki wished he could join him.

Loki forced himself to get to the point before he got too sentimental. That was dangerous. He had only enemies now, he reminded himself. Summer was all that mattered, and even she was gone. Everyone was responsible for ruining Loki's life, all fanning the fire - and everyone would pay. "The burden of the throne has fallen to me now."

The very thing Thor had always wanted. But as Thor looked up from his seat, Loki was surprised to find not a trace of jealousy there, no anger or envy… just sadness. There was a plea in his orbs: "Can I come home?" Thor eventually asked.

_I'd rather let you die_, Loki replied venomously in his head. Despite what he'd said earlier – he wanted Thor to blame himself. It was his fault. Summer, the baby, Jotunheim, the end… everything. All this could have avoided by him simply standing up for Summer at the time he'd needed to, and Summer and her baby could be safe in Asgard. The Jotuns wouldn't be a threat. Summer would never have strayed to that man. Everything would have been mendable, despite Thor's gross misdemeanour.

"The truce with Jotunheim is conditional upon your exile." Lies. There was no such truce. They were next on his list of problems though, once he was done sealing Thor to this desolate planet. There was so much he wanted to destroy now.

"Yes, but could we find a way..."

"And Mother has forbidden your return." There. The nail in the coffin. "This is goodbye, Brother." He breathed, feeling a huge weight lifted off him as he said it. He felt like he wanted to smile, to smirk ... but after Summer he wasn't sure if he would ever smile again.

There was nothing fake about the soft sadness in his voice, but it was't for Thor: "I'm so sorry."

There was a slight pause as his words sank in to his brother. Finally, Thor lifted his head. His eyes still looked hurt, glistening. "No." he gulped. His voice sounded so weak. How was this the warrior that had defiled Summer, the mighty warrior of their realm? "_I_ am sorry. For everything."

His orbs glistened with sincerity and Loki quashed his gasp – Thor was apologising for Summer. He knew it. For Summer and the child… just days ago he'd been uncaring. What could have happened since then to make him so remorseful? The pure knowledge this was his last chance to make amends with his brother? Loki's heart skipped a beat as the possibility that Thor had somehow made contact with Summer and her son flittered through his head. No, he reassured himself quickly. He would have said, especially in this new 'humbled' state. And she had someone new..."Thank you for coming here."

Loki allowed himself to gulp, feeling his emotions rage inside, for Summer and for Thor. His eyes cast over the brother he'd loved and hated… for what he hoped would be the last time. _This was all your fault_, he accused in his head. "Farewell."

He turned without another word, letting his face fall, his eyes dull with his numb triumph, letting the true emptinss he felt inside consume him. Now you know how it feels, he hissed in his head. To lose everything and think it will never get better. Only, for Thor, it wouldn't. He would be trapped here until that mortal body of his wore out and died.

It was no more than he deserved.

Thor's last word, his final goodbye echoed in his head as he stepped away, sealing one phase of Loki's troubled life locked away forever, for both Summer and his brother. His eyes squeezed shut: "Goodbye."


	11. Chapter 11

_"Morning will come,_

_And I know we'll be one..."_

**Chapter 11**

_I… accept._

Those words wouldn't leave Loki's head. What the hell had he just done? He'd just conspired to murder his father. To have him killed…

_No_, something inside him pointed out. _Not your father. Your father was the one agreeing to do the killing._ Seeing Laufey, knowing what he really was… it had made Loki sick. That was the being that had created him. Walking through Jotenheim had driven it all home; that was where he belonged. In the cold and the dark. With all the other monsters.

He had nothing to lose anymore. It was already lost. All that remained was a deep carved hurt in his heart and a burning anger, singeing the wound. It was Odin's fault. And Thor's. Everything was all their fault.

But to kill …

His head was light as the Bifrost jolted him back into the golden chamber, and for a moment he struggled to focus. His knees felt weak. He felt sick – he was going to _kill._

He'd killed plenty of times in battle, no doubt about that. But that was different. There, it was an enemy baying for his blood too. This… this was pure revenge. The pure knowledge that he wanted Odin out of his life forever with no chance of return. The Odinsleep wasn't enough. He never wanted him to wake up.

His eyes flickered up as the room steadied – right into the hard golden eyes of the gatekeeper. For a second, Loki's heart stilled; did Heimdall know what he was plotting?

_No_, he abashed quickly. _He couldn't_. Loki had taken care to ensure he was concealed from him. Hidden. Out of his sight and earshot, like back on Earth. Still, the hard, suspicious look in the gatekeeper's eye did nothing to settle him.

He straightened up. "What troubles you, Gatekeeper?" He asked smoothly, making his expression unreadable.

It was a good mask for his thudding heart and frantic worry. What if Heimdall knew? He'd be thrown in prison, executed, banished… and they'd all win, while he lost. Again._ No_, he snarled inwardly. Revenge would be his this time. It was their turn to lose everything.

The gatekeepers golden eyes remained hard, unreadable. "I turned my gaze upon you in Jotunheim, but could neither see nor hear you." he said in a stiff voice. It confirmed it in Loki's mind: Heimdal didn't trust him. Not at all. "You were shrouded from me, like the Frost Giants that entered this realm."

_Definitely_, Loki thought. He was definitely on the gatekeeper's radar. At the same time though, it gave him a thrill, being so close to be caught.

Like the Frost Giants_...clever_, thought Loki. Making the connection. Did he suspect, or did he know for certain? That Loki _had_ been the one to let the Frost Giants in. The steely look in Heimdal's eyes looked like it was crossed somewhere between the two. Loki almost wanted to smirk and say 'Yes. What are you going to do about it?'. He was reckless with hopelessness. That was what it was.

_Perhaps that was better_, he thought... inwardly, he quickly shook his head though: no - it just numbed the pain. What would he do when reality crashed down again?

The coronation seemed like years away now. Loki had almost forgotten it. He hadn't considered that shrouding himself might draw suspicion, this and the Frost Giants the only _ever_ incidences to slip Heimdal's gaze. It was a careless mistake.

Still ... Loki took a step forward, unfazed. "Perhaps your senses have weakened after your many years of service."

"Or perhaps someone has found a way to hide that which he does not wish me to see."

_Very good_, Loki mused. He was rather enjoying this. _Why?_ a voice inside him wondered. He'd had his heart ripped out of his chest and he felt like laughing now. Is this what rock bottom felt like?

Well, it was all just a game. Victory or death - either way Loki didn't have to suffer anymore. It was perfect. He could gain all the power in the nine realms and exact his revenge ... or he could die. Never think, never feel again. Never interupt Summer's life again. She could be happy with that man if she wanted.

A joke went far enough though. He had to put Heimdall back in his place before these poisonous ideas of his - true as they may be - spread: "You have great power, Heimdall." He said calmly, pausing in his stride. "Did Odin ever fear you?"

Eyes followed him, frowning. _Didn't expect that, eh?_ Loki grinned mischievously in his head.

"No."

"And why is that?" He breathed, as if speaking to a child.

The answer was instant, undoubtable in the gatekeepers mind. It was a little irritating to Loki. Was he saying these things purposely to rile him? "Because he is my king and I am sworn to obey him."

_Not any more,_ Loki snarled in his head. Suddenly, the game was over. He didn't want Odin to win this one. No - it was _his_ work and _his_ victory... or at least, it would be. Soon. When the Jotuns came, Odin would be but a shadow in the dark, gone while Loki claimed his throne.

Maybe Summer would love him then. Maybe she'd take him back. Thinking of her - as always - dug the pain afresh in his heart and he fought hard not to wince at it.

"He was your king," he said quietly. Warningly. He was in command now. "And you are sworn to obey me now. Yes?"

Loki subtly held his breath at the clear reluctance in the gatekeeper's eyes. _He wouldn't say no, would he?_, he panicked in his head. _If he said no..._

"Yes."

Inwardly, the sigh of relief was drowned out with an anger that he had to question the gatekeepers loyalty at all. They would all obey Odin unquestioningly, but him... nobody trusted him anymore. Nobody cared.

Heimdall knew of Summer. He'd seen Loki plead with him to have some form of contact with her when she'd first been banished. But how had he responsed? _It is not the will of the king. _The will of _the king _mattered no more now that he was unconscious. Now it was Loki's will that determined everyone's fate. And he wouldn't let that be disrupted now for anyone.

Matter closed, he set his sights once more on leaving: "Then you will open the Bifrost to no one until I have repaired the damage that my brother has done." he barked.

He strode back up the rainbow bridge, knowing Heimdal was watching. It was uncomfortable. He needed to walk though, would rather the time to think that just be whisked back on a horse. Rage and hurt still coursed through his heart, so confused.

Did he hate Summer now? Was that it? Was she just one more person that he hated? Or... or did he still love her even after...

He ran a hand over his face. He didn't know. His heart cracked; he couldn't think ill of her.

_Kill him_, Laufey had said when he'd first saw him in Jotunheim. _Kill him_… Loki guessed then that he didn't know he was his son. Not that it mattered. It wasn't like Loki was removing one father to be replaced by another. Not least Laufey. He wanted the Frost Giant just as dead as Odin, of that there was no question.

He was conspiring with monsters… admitting that he was one himself.

The loss of Odin could bring everything back. Frigga, Summer - even Thor's loyalty maybe after seeing him so undone back on Earth. Not that he wanted it. He would be a saint in their eyes. The strong hero who'd led Asgard through the most difficult time...

And would Summer still want him? _It might not be her fault_, he told himself as he walked back into the palace, heart clawing. He needed his chambers for a moment. Maybe she didn't want this man but just needed his help .. Loki prayed that was it, that he'd simply walked in on the wrong moment. He cursed himself: he should have interrupted and found out for certain.

_No, it doesn't matter_!, a possessive part of him screamed. She couldn't love this man over him! What did he have to offer her? A house? Loki would soon have a kingdom. Safety? Loki would have armies of men to keep her safe. Love? His heart crumpled as he threw his weight back against his chamber door, sealing himself safely inside - there was no question that Loki would win that challenge, he thought with a whimper.

Suddenly, he felt weak. Unfocussed, without direction. He'd had a plan, and now it was falling apart around him without Summer to guide him. Even if she didn't need him anymore, he needed her.

He let himself fall onto his bed, feeling numb inside. He needed her... he'd still give anything to have her...

Then he wept.

XXX

_I have to get out of here._

It was the first thought as Summer's eyes snapped open from sleep, alert instantly from the nightmare dream she'd had. Her gaze instantly linked with the open collar of David's shirt, right in her line of sight from her head's position on his chest.

For a second, her heart skipped a beat. Her stomach turned like she was falling, as she stared at David's sleeping face, flashes of her nightmare echoing in her mind.

Her lips parted in a shaky breath. _Loki..._

Falling... falling into darkness, into nothingness...his features were hardened with hopelessness as he surrendered back into the fall, not even flailing, not even trying to save himself. Summer felt cold inside, seeing that dead look in his eyes - the look that thought 'what else can you take from me now?'. She knew that look. It was the look that had led her to the docks. Rock bottom...

_It was just a dream_, she told herself, lying still as if moving would nudge the dream closer to being reality somehow. She couldn't bear it; not Loki, not him.

Slowly, she eased her head up from David's chest and sat upright beside him on the bed. She stared down at him with sad eyes.

He looked beautiful when he slept, like a little boy. She couldn't help but hope Ewin would look that peaceful one day, when he was older...but hopefully looking a little more Loki-ish.

They would be together, Summer decided in her head. Whatever it took, one day they'd be together again. Loki would be Ewin's father. No one need know the truth. They could make themselves a family, get married... or maybe that was wishful thinking.

She was scared of him knowing about the kiss. How would he react? Would he be angry, crippled with heartbreak... her dream flashed through her mind.

_No_, she told herself, shaking her head clear. She slipped to the edge of the bed and bowed her head between her knees, hands in her hair. She wanted Loki. No matter what had happened, he had to know that. That she was his. Always.

_Yet you're living with another man_, a crude voice in her head pointed out, _letting him care for you and your baby. Playing house with David..._

Her screwed up eyes snapped open.

They were right. She had to get out of here...

XXX

Loki's eyes were still red from crying as he strode back into the hall, masking himself as a king again. He'd had his moment.

Now, he knew what he wanted.

He crossed the empty hall to the balcony and stared over it's ledge feeling a sense of calm. What was going to happen was not going to be chance anymore, was not going to be an accident. He was going to take back control... and make a difference.

The anger still burned deep in his system, but it was under control now. Now, he knew what he wanted to do with it. Summer was through with him - then he'd be through with her.

But why should she be exempt while everyone else suffered? He'd show her just how much she'd hurt him, one day...

He was angry at how she'd hurt him, him of all people. And he couldn't just let that go. He needed revenge; it was all that could soothe his burning heart now. He'd rise to power, so no one could stand in his way or hurt him anymore, and turn it back on those who had wronged him. It wasn't wrong - it was justice. He wouldn't let anything deter him now. Not after coming so far, so much at stake...

He strode out onto the balcony and stood there, gazing over Asgard as the light started to rise. It was beautiful. It made his heart pain to know that this was not the land he had come from, that he was from the wastelands of Jotunheim. He did not belong here.

But for her... for his nephew...he would give that woman a kingdom if it made her happy. He would make that little boy a king if fate would see it done. For them, he would change everything...

_No!,_ he caught himself just in time, scrunching his eyes shut. He didn't care. He forced the words through his head over and over again, but didn't feel them to be any more true. He was supposed to hate her, he told himself. He needed everything, control, to show her what she'd missed, to show her what could have been hers, but never would be. He had to. She couldn't possibly choose that man over him when he had everything to offer her.

Only he wouldn't take her back. Like Thor, he'd see she never touch it, and that she never touch him again. She'd ruined him just as much as Thor had.

_Now we both have demons_, he thought to himself. Summer had found another and he ... well, he was a monster. Perhaps they deserved each other, as bad as one another. Loki's hand reached numbly for the base of his throat but the familiar feeling of the chain was gone, the mermaid necklace no longer at his chest. It was on _his_ doorstep.

_I'll see her again_, he thought with a newfound certainty, with purpose. She'd broken his heart... retribution would find her as it had found everyone else.

Something inside him cracked though, and he snapped his eyes open at the pain. In his mind, his plan was set. His loving heart was still struggling to believe it: that was willing to let her ruin him all over again if he could only see her smile again. If he could see she was happy. That it was worth it... but he had to see her.

His fist closed and he let it fall to his side, battling the feelings within him. A part of him still loved her and a part of him hated her like everyone else. But which side did he choose? Which side should he embrace?

By sundown tomorrow, everything would be decided, he told himself. He just had to wait, to let events unfold...

Then a brilliant light on the horizon snapped him from his thoughts. His eyes blinked to focus. The light was dazzling, so beautiful... shooting with purpose out to new worlds.

The Bifrost.

_Traitors... all of them_, Loki thought as he stared at it, anger flaring white hot inside of him. There were only four who would dare, and one self-righteous enough to give them passage.

Loki turned from the balcony with prupose in his stride, his teeth gritted. He let his feet take him to where he needed to be.

Hadn't he warned himself that he needed to watch them? All of them. They were all too loyal, to Thor and to Odin. He should have had them closely guarded. He should have known...

_They would be banished too_, he resolved, his footsteps carrying him to the secret vaults. They would have to be. He couldn't afford to have such people in his midst, that were so ready to disobey him. The Bifrost shut-down was so vital in his plans...Heimdall was ready to bring Thor back, he realised. Odin's permission or not, that was the warriors' undoubtable aim and the gatekeeper knew it. He would return Thor and have him overthrown. They all would.

It would all be long over if such things came to be. If Thor came back... he would be king, Loki would never be able to see Summer again to decide his feelings, and what he would do to Loki for these plans... gods only knew the ends of his anger and mercy. Whatever would be - Loki couldn't let it happen.

He strode, he trotted down stairs, he had the heavy doors open for him until he was striding into the weapons vault, where it had all started.

Thor would take Loki's paradise away from him, keep Summer forgotten to the kingdom. _No_, Loki vowed. Even if she was to be banished with another man on Earth, he had to see her see him triumphant, to throw her betrayal back at her.

Or have her stay with him and rule as Queen... whatever his heart would choose when the time came.

Either way, he couldn't allow Thor to come back, under any circumstances - the staff thudded down on the marble floor of the weapons vault, his dark eyes fixed on the melting away door, shrouding the one great soldier that wouldn't betray him.

The Destroyer stepped forth.

"Ensure my brother does not return." He told the towering form. There could be no alternative. It had to be certain: "Destroy everything."


	12. Chapter 12

_"'Cause I still believe_

_That you'll remember me..."_

**Chapter 12**

"Tell me Loki, how did you get the Jotuns into Asgard?" asked the gatekeeper as he stood outside the Bifrost chamber, waiting.

_So he knew I would come_, Loki snarled in his head. He knew he wasn't the gatekeeper's favourite person, but he'd never imagined he'd go this far; to bring Thor back, just to uproot Loki... then once again Thor would be rewarded for being a monster, rather than punished. No.

Why did the gatekeeper have to be such a self-righteous being, just like the Warriors, just like Thor?! If he and the Warriors had just sat back and accepted their fate, things would have gone fine. The lying king would be dead, the monsterous brother too far away to do any more harm, and the race threatening war appeased.

But the gatekeeper's actions had changed that now. The lives to be lost, the destruction to be done... it was all Heimdall's fault. Damage control wouldn't be as easy as it should have been, thanks to the gatekeeper's intervention.

"You think the Bifrost is the only way in and out of this realm?" Loki growled impatiently, no time for the gatekeeper's calm stalling. Buying time for Thor to return no doubt. "There are secret paths between the world to which even you, with all your gifts, are blind."

_All thanks to Summer_, Loki added in his head. Her arrival had been the spark to ignite his research and then... so many others came to be clear. So clear it was a wonder he hadn't known about them beforehand! Now, it didn't matter; "But I have need of them no longer, now that I am king. And I say, for your act of treason, you are relieved of your duties as Gatekeeper and no longer citizen of Asgard."

Out of the way. Heimdall needed to be gone too, just like Thor. He was threat Loki couldn't afford. Everything was dangerous. Everything a danger to his plans. He couldn't afford that; he needed to be the best, so she would know, so she would understand...

Heimdall would ruin him at every chance if he could. He was loyal to Thor and Odin, not Loki, and no matter what happened, Loki knew that wouldn't change. He couldn't afford such a powerful liability.

"Then I need no longer obey you."

Loki's eyes snapped back to focus at the ring of the gatekeeper's sword, panic flittering briefly through his mind as it surged towards him.

What? Loki gasped in his head. Heimdall would kill him? Would fight him? He was that desperate?! He wasn't just in Thor's favour but actively clearing his path to the thone and to power, ready to sweep Loki away.

In the split second he had to act, Loki growled in his head. No - he would not let this happen! He would not let the gatekeeper ruin all his hard work! He had no weapons, nothing to defend himself but the magic already pricking at his palms and adrenalin coursed through him, knowing he had seconds to come up with something before he was too dead to do so.

Ice flooded through his viens, a stark difference to his molten anger, but he didn't have time to be surprised as something heavy clunked into his hands.

And his heart fell through the floor as he realised what it was.

He didn't need to look. He'd felt this weight before, this shape, this chill... and there was no denying the rapid build up of ice creeping up the gatekeeper's neck.

The Casket.

He wanted to stop, but he couldn't. He forced his distaste to the back of his mind - send the Casket away now and he might as well just step himself onto Heimdall's blade for him. It was suicide. He had no choice.. and it was mighty effective. It pushed back against him as the ice flew at the gatekeeper and Loki held on, gripping the bridge beneath him with the balls of his feet as well as the Casket tightly in his hands.

Loki didn't dare breath for the seconds it took for the gatekeeper to be smothered in ice, his body, his sword, his furious expression - all frozen in a thick layer of ice.

Then Heimdall moved no more.

A ragged gasp fled Loki's lips as the weight of the Casket settled back into his hands and he was left staring at the furious eyes of the gatekeeper.

The gatekeeper that was frozen. Loki's eyes blinked back to the present and scoured, stunned over what he'd done. Was he dead? Would the ice kill him? Loki wasn't sure. The eyes looked very much alive, even restrained behind a wall of ice.

He'd done that. He, with the weapon of the Frost Giants, had done this. Loki's jaw gritted tensely, and his hands summoned the Casket away again. He couldn't even look at it.

Of all the things, why that?! Why?! Not a sword, or spear, or shield as any Asgardian would have better use of - but, no! The Casket. Ice.

His knees felt weak. He'd spent so much time telling himself he wasn't a monster. He was not... but the blue stained skin of his hands begged to differ with him as he glanced down. And he'd summoned _their_ weapon. It had aswered to him, not telling the difference between him and the other monsters on Jotunheim.

Maybe because their was no difference, he thought breathlessly, even the flesh tone started to creep back into his complexion instead of icy blue. At this rate, he was just as much as a monster as Thor was.

Perhaps even worse.

XXX

It didn't take long.

Summer had found the sturdy duffel bag in David's closet, and it hadn't taken long to fill it with her few possessions. Some clothes for her and Ewin, some diapers for him, some food... she didn't know where she was going. She didn't know how long it would take to get settled.

She hadn't thought it through, she thought to herself as she tried to carry the bag through to the sitting room, taking great care to avoid looking at the sleeping figure in the bed. But she had few options. She had to go.

Ewin was fast asleep in his Moses basket by the end of the sofa and Summer glanced to him. The soft smile flickered over her face.

Don't worry, she told him in her mind as if she could insert her thoughts into his dreams. I'll make it okay. Loki will find us. He'll take care of us. He'll be like a father for you. He'll make it okay.

But for that to be true she had to get out of here. She didn't have a future with David. It was time to stop pretending she did.

The bag was heavy but she kept her huffs of exertion quiet. If David woke up now, if he found her... she didn't want to think about it. She probably wouldn't have the guts to venture out into the unknown like this if he hammered the truth of what she was doing home. She didn't want to face him. She wanted to just phase in and out of his life like a shadow.

She lugged the bag to the front door and set it down, glancing back over her shoulder. Silence, stillness. Good, she thought with an inward sigh fo relief.

Her attention turned to the door latch.

She winced as her fingers turned it and it clicked, cracking open slightly. She paused again, before proceeding. When no one stirred, called out or pulled her away from the door, she peeled it open as slowly as she dared, desperate to avoid any sound.

Silence bled in from the cold streets, the moment the door opened. Quiet, like she'd wanted. An ominous, deadly quiet. It sent chills through her. Summer stared at the dark streets beyond the door, beyond the safety of David's protection, heart beating fast.

Oh God, she breathed in her head. She was really going to do this. She had to, she told herself. For her, for Ewin, for David. Her head bowed shamefully; for Loki.

Her eyes were swimming with tears as she bowed her head, feeling the icy chill of the cold outside prick goose bumps on her skin. Or was that guilt? Chills of cold or of horror... she wasn't sure. She had to go. She couldn't stay with David anymore.

Sorry Ewin, she breathed in her mind, eyes welling with tears. Sorry Loki. You both deserve better than this.

Loki...her fists clenched at her sides as she thought of him. And willed him to forgive her. She'd slipped up, but now she had to rise to try to make it right, no matter how hard it would be, no matter how scary. She couldn't trust herself around David. It wasn't fair on either him or Loki, leading him on like this.

She blinked her eyes furiously and tried to focus. It will be okay, she told herself, tomorrow. Or the next night. Or the night after that. Whatever it took. It would get better. Loki would find her and she would be fine. She couldn't stay and she wouldn't. It was time to put the faith in Loki that he deserved.

Her eyes blinked clear of the tears and she stared clearly down at the doorstep, tears gone. Then a glint shone and caught her attention.

Her brow furrowed. What...

She bent at the knees, crouching down. The light outside was nearly non-existent. The object.. whatever it was. There was only the shine. The closer she got though, the more clearly she could see it.

Her fingers reached out and touched it, touched the metal, cold and icy from the chilly night air. It was smooth. Flawless.

Her heartbeat picked up; the pattern felt familiar.

Her fingers closed around it and lifted it up, bringing it to her face. Her lips ghosted apart in horror as she made out the unmistakable shape of the mermaid pendant, gleaming out at her accusingly.

The necklace... the one from Asgard. Summer's fingers closed around it and her eyes lifted to the street beyond, scanning frantically for the shape of a man. There was nothing there. But only one person would have this, she told herself. Only Loki would have this. And if it was here... Summer's blood ran cold; Loki had come. Loki had been here.

But he'd gone. He'd left. Without her. He wouldn't do that, she reassured herself. He'd told her he'd come for her and he had... so why had he left?

The answer flashed in her head almost instantly, an unknown force answering her question: the image of David kissing her blasted through her mind. Her heart stopped, breath leaving her in a misty sigh of horror. No... he couldn't have.

The minute she thought it though, she knew it wasn't true. There was no reason Loki would come for her then leave without even speaking to her. What one thing would turn him away so resolutely?

David. He'd seen her kissing David.

The breath gasped into her lungs, feeling the panic start to wash over her. Oh God. Looki had seen. She... she must have ripped his heart in two.

Her fingers gripped the mermaid pendant tightly. He'd left this. What did that mean? To Summer, she couldn't help but feel it meant he was leaving her behind. That he was through with her. No, she sobbed in her head. He couldn't leave her behind. If only she could talk to him, explain...

Explain what?, an accusing voice asked in her head. How can you explain away cheating? He'd kept his promise.

And she'd betrayed him.

Her eyes lifted to the sky, not even bothering to mask the tears this time. The clouds were dark. Angry.

_Loki..._

XXX

Monster or not, he would not lose to Thor. Not now... and Loki watched through the Destroyer's visor as the chaos unfolded on Earth. He sat back in the throne and watched with a contemplating mind.

"Ensure my brother does not return." He murmured to himself again, clenching the staff tightly in his hand.

The Destroyer threw Volstagg through a building as the command echoed in the machine's matrix.

A smirk pricked at Loki's lips.

He didn't dare leave this to chance. He'd lost focus for a moment - and that had been the slip the Warrior's had needed to get this far already. There was no way they could be allowed back alive, least of all Thor. And this time, Loki would see the job done, so there was no mistake.

It was his only choice now. Before, Thor had been bound to Earth by his own grief and repentence, but now, if the Warrior's told him the truth... there was no force that would be able to contain him. He had to die.

Thus far though, the mighty Thor had cowered in the background with the fleeing mortals. Pathetic. The Warriors attacked the Destroyer, fighting valiantly, but Loki knew it would not be enough. This would be their punishment for their defiance - death alongside the prince they'd fled to free from exile.

Everywhere was destruction. Buildings, glass, explosions - nothing was left intact, everything absolutely obliterated. The mortals were getting a fresh taste of the wrath of gods.

The through it all, Loki glimpsed his brother clearly at the end of the street. It was unmistakably him as he ran forward, in mere mortal clothes rather than any armour, aiding up a fallen mortal man in the middle of the road. He was not fighting. He was running away - just proving Loki's thoughts seconds later as he retreated back to the Warriors and mortals further down the street.

Loki's smirk deepened; there was nowhere for them to go.

It sent an excited flicker through his heart, a shiver. Loki fluttered his eyes shut and revelled in it; he was feeling something. Since Summer... since that day on Earth, he'd felt painfully numb. Cold. Empty. Like he wasn't even alive anymore. Maybe it was just the Frost Giant in him, chilling his blood... it scared him though. Not feeling anything. For months his feelings had been uncontrollable, always angry, seething, burning, feeling love for Summer and unparalleled misery that she had gone. Then he'd seen her and everything had crashed.

But this, watching Thor suffer, watching them all pay for his unhappiness... that made him feel something at last. And he clung to it with every fibre of hope he had left.

They were beaten, that much was obvious; the mortals were staggering away and the Warrior's Three clung to each other to keep themselves upright.

Loki's eyes darkened maliciously - he'd won.

He'd guessed the same realisation had gone through Thor's head too, watching as he hurried the mortals and Warriors on... but stayed himself. Thor knew, Loki thought to himself. He knew this was the end.

Loki watched with avid interest, as the last warrior in any state to fight strode forward down the road, with just a puny shield in his hand - and then Thor cast it aside with a faint clammer. Loki almost felt like laughing. He knew that it was hopeless, but he'd expected Thor to put up more of a fight than this!

Or maybe he was just a distraction, Loki fleetingly thought, scanning the group of Warriors down the street for a missing one. No. They were all accounted for.

They all wore the same confused, disblieving expression Loki felt in his heart as they froze in their escape, watching. Clearly, this was not part of their plan.

That just made Loki even more wary of what Thor was doing.

Thor just walked towards the Destroyer as if it were no more than Loki himself and not the deadly killing machine it was. And he had nothing. No weapons, no defence - not even a fighting stance. He was just ...walking. What was he doing?

"Brother, whatever I have done to wrong you," Thor said in a slow, patronisingly calm voice as he stepped ever closer to the Destroyer. Loki could hear him as clearly as if he were there himself. If he thought that sucking up would save him he was wrong, Loki thought darkly. "Whatever I have done to lead you to do this... I am truly sorry."

_Sorry_... after everything that had happened - to him, to Summer - and Thor thought he would make it okay with 'sorry'?! Loki's fist clenched.

"But these people are innocent." he went on in that self righteous tone of his. It made Loki's blood boil. "Taking their lives will gain you nothing."

Ironic how Thor now stood up for the 'innocent person' now, when it was those he cared for at stake. It only gave Loki even more desire to kill them, to hurt them, to take them away from Thor as Loki had had Summer taken from him.

But Loki wasn't sure he had the patience to wait much longer. He wanted the next kill to be one person, and one person only.

Only he was compelled to listen for a second longer as the former god finally stood before the Destroyer and held his ground. There was nothing proud or storng in his stance though.

Nor in his defeated voice: "So take mine... and end this."

Loki just stared.

Just... stared.

Was that real? His eyebrows lifted in surprise and it swept even his anger aside for a moment. Had Thor really just said that?

Loki glanced to the Warriors behind a second time, sure there must be some sort of trickery involved. There was no way Thor was offering his life up just like that, surely! Thor stared up into the Destroyer's visor, just an arms reach away, and Loki felt him try and see through to his brother, his eyes so calm, so quietly emotional...

And then all in a heartbeat, Loki's conscience hardened like ice. _No_, he growled in his head. Thor had not listened to Loki's pleas, and Loki would not listen to his.

There was a hopeless defeat in Thor's cool blue eyes as the words left his lips, offering up his life - what Loki wanted - on a platter.

And Loki's heart sank a little. It was too easy...

But then the visor turned from the suicidal man and Thor was lost from view. Loki felt the Destroyer turn.

And he woudn't allow it. His eyes narrowed, gripping the staff hard. His heart glowed with dark satisfaction as the Destroyer paused. It may be an easy death... but it was a death none the less.

_Kill him_, Loki thought mercilessly.

The Destroyer turned and struck Thor hard.

The thud was merciless and Thor let out a pained grunt. And it was no wonder - Thor went flying.

He was knocked back halfway down the street, and crashed harshly into the ground, rolling and rolling before his body finally settled on the dusty ground. He lay flat on his back... and didn't move anymore.

Loki just watched, mouth running dry as he watched the woman hurry to the dying man's side, throwing herself down to him. _Wow_, Loki thought breathlessly in his head. It was... Thor was dying. Lying there, woman frantically at his side... he was dying.

And he wasn't sure how he felt about it. He'd been braced for anger, for satisfaction, for joy... but he couldn't pin point any of those. The frown dug into his brow. He was supposed to be happy, right?

The Destroyer turned away, and this time Loki didn't stop it.

Thor was a monster, he told himself. He'd raped Summer, cast her aside, disowned his own son...how could be deserve anything less than this? Loki had done the universe a favour, saved everyone, not just himself. This wasn't about power, this was about Thor; about what he'd done, and what kind of man he was.

Now he was paying. Loki tried to steel his heart but it didn't erase the frown on his brow. He didn't understand...he forced himself to think of the reasons why he hated the man that was dead on the mortal world. To focus on that, to try and soothe the uncomfortable ache in his chest.

_You've just killed your own brother_, a voice chipped consciously in his head.

Loki growled against it instantly: _not my brother._

_He's not the same man._

He screwed his eyes shut against the voice in his head. _Yes, he was. People like Thor don't change._

_You didn't give him the chance._

Loki's eyes snapped open, wide.

Thor was dead. That was it, it couldn't be undone. Banishing Summer - that could be undone. Disowning his infant son - that could be undone.

But death...

Loki turned away, gulping down the lump in his throat. No. No, he'd done right, he told himself. Thor had ruined Summer's life forever, and would have kept her away to endure it alone if he hadn't been banished himself. Loki would have never seen her again if Thor had had his way, and the never would have known their new family member.

But the gleam in his eyes as he'd walked willingly up to the Destroyer and his death... Loki couldn't shake it. Those hadn't been the eyes of a monster. Those hadn't been the same blazing orbs of the man who'd defiled Summer, who'd stood back and let her suffer for his actions.

His eyes fluttered shut. It was done now. Thor was dead. He was dead, and he needed to be. _There was no other way_, Loki told himself. If not for what he'd done, Thor had to die for what he would do: he'd come back and sweep Loki aside again, condemn him again, climbing ever higher on his younger brother's despair.

He had to remember that - Thor would ruin him, if Loki didn't get the upper hand first. Everyone would. Thor was just the first. Of course he was remorseful when he knew he was going to lose! That gleam in his blue orbs had been nothing more than a hopeless man's last plea for his life.

He was no different. If Loki had let him live, things would go back to exactly how they'd been before.

At least, that's what he told himself.

What did he do now? Kill Odin. Make peace with murders. He gasped out a ragged breath, and his heart ached worse than ever. His hand reached instinctively up to his collar bones, pressing through his clothes.

But there was no mermaid pendant to soothe him anymore. He'd cast her aside, cut her out... just as Thor and Odin had.

He'd started off for Summer, to undo the wrong that Odin and Thor had done her and yet here he was doing the same. But did he hate her or not? She'd betrayed him, but his mind was still plotting. Why? If the goal of his cause was truly lost to him then why was he still fighting? He just proved it, seconds ago, in reaching for the pendant - he still needed her.

He brought his hand to his head and tried to control all the fast thoughts, the raging emotions, trying to make sense of everything. He didn't understand. Everything had been so clear before, but now... now he didn't know.

And a crash from behind wrenched him out of his thoughts, and he snapped his eyes open, spinning around.

The Destoryer did the same and Loki watched through the visor with horror pooling heavily in his gut.

A blinding light burst where Thor had laid.

Lightning cracked down from the sky, meeting the man holding a very hammer-like shape to the sky, channelling the storm as power crackled back into the former corpse. Loki's breath stilled; Thor was alive.

Alive - and granted back his powers. Fuelled with the knowledge that Loki had been ready to kill him, to kill them all...

Loki swore in his head.

The lightning cleared and Loki was rivetted as Thor was revealed in all his godly glory. His armour coated his body, his weapon in hand, wind whipping around him majestically. And his face... his face wasn't pleading anymore.

The thunder god's eyes were dark as the skies blackened, cloud swirling in from nowhere. He really did have his powers back, Loki thought with horror. The suicidal man was god. A vengeful god, merciless, ready to fight against that which had tried to kill him, stood in his place.

Loki was helpless to watch through the visor as Thor lifted into the sky, moving effortlessly with the storm he'd created. Thunder crashed. Bit by bit, Loki's destruction lifted into the air, caught in the powerful winds.

The Destroyer wasn't far behind. It was carried off towards the hammer swinging god like a rag doll.

_Fight_, Loki willed with panic. _Fight!_ It was still Asgard's most reliable weapon. There was a chance...obediently, the Destroyer shot a blast at the hovering god, but the hammer deflected it effortlessly as if the machine had simply thrown a fistful of fairy dust. Loki gritted his teeth as the Destroyer sent another attack.

Thor didn't hit this one away - he carved _through _it. The hammer charged a path through the fire as Thor flew towards the metal man, getting closer and closer every second, with a power that was unstoppable.

Then the visor went abruptly black.


	13. Chapter 13

_"Never forget  
What I did, what I said  
When I gave you all  
My heart and soul..."_

**Chapter 13**

Loki's head was buried in his hands, waiting for his life to fall apart. He had no future. How could he? - when the king was to be murdered by his own plotting, when his brother was coming for revenge for trying to kill him, when Summer was on Earth...

What he'd give to have her there now. She'd know what to do. She always did. She was so good, such a good influence on him... but she'd never seen him like this.

No one had. This murderous, conspiring person... Loki didn't recognise himself.

Behind the wall, behind his back, Laufey was about to kill Odin.

And it was all his fault.

His fingers clawed in hair, the breath rasping in his throat. Gods, what did he do? Thor was coming back, that much was certain and whatever reconciliation might be possible would go out the window when he found his father murdered by Loki's doing. But it was happening. It was too late to stop it...

From inside the royal chambers, Frigga cried out. Loki flinched, screwing his eyes shut. He prayed she wouldn't get hurt. He couldn't bear it if Frigga was hurt too.

_Of course she'll get hurt_, a curt voice pointed out in his head. _If not physically, emotionally. You're about to kill her husband. _

It was him killing Odin. Laufey may strike the blow, but it was Loki's fault. And once that was done, any hope of a future after this was gone. Odin's death would destroy Loki's chance of better days, especially when Thor got here, as he inevitably would. He didn't know how, but there wasn't much that could stop the thunder god when he was determined. He felt it; somehow, Thor would find him.

What would he find? Father dead. Mother dead or distraught. Gatekeeper frozen to ice. The family's murderers rampaging through the realm as they took back their casket.

All under Loki's rule.

He'd kill him.

Maybe that was better, Loki couldn't help but think. Maybe death was a better outcome than what he himself had planned, if this is what it felt like. It was better than being hurt, than being a monster, than being so alone. Maybe it was better Thor come and kill him and save him a lifetime of misery.

_I'm sorry, Summer_, Loki pleaded in his head, feeling weaker than he had in his entire life. He'd started out with such good intentions, just to get Thor out of the way, to convince Odin to return Summer so he could take care of her and her son until the end of their days...how had that turned out? Disasterously. If only he could see her one last time. Say goodbye. Apologise.

His hand moved to the base of his neck, but any trace of the chain was gone. He'd left it behind. How stupid. In a moment of rage and sorrow, he'd abandoned the only momento of her he had. Now he had nothing to remind him of her, nothing to hold on to.

"It's said you can still hear and see what transpires around you."

The softly spoken voice travelled quietly through the open doorway to the corridor, Loki unable to help listening to every word. Laufey.

_Oh gods_, he thought breathlessly. This was it. In mere moments, Odin would be dead, and his fate would be sealed. Another death on his hands .. another wedge of guilt in his heart.

He had seconds.

Seconds and then it would be over.

His head bowed, feeling helpless. All this had gotten so out of control. What had ever possessed him to do this? Ruled by his anger...it had all gone too far. A little mischief had gone way, way too far.

He'd never planned to have Thor banished.

He'd never planned to try and kill his brother.

He'd never planned to conspire to have Odin murdered.

All had fallen wildly into place, one after the other, after Loki had tried to get Thor into a little trouble. That seed of idiotic adventure into Jotunheim he'd planted into his brother's head... how had it led to this?

Silver glinted in his eye from the floor and he pulled his hands down from his face; the staff lay on the floor at his feet where he'd abandoned it. Odin's staff. The weapon that was about to become masterless. It wasn't really Loki's. It never had been.

Summer's face flashed in his mind unexplainably and he felt something inside him snap. Her face, so sad and glum, eyes glistening and emploring for help... his help.

He wanted to help. His instinct was to help her, even now. Even after everything. But worlds away and powerless, how could he help anyone? He was useless. Damned. Just a monster, holding the staff for Odin until he returned, keeping the throne warm for Thor...he was pathetic.

His lip curled at the thought and he reached down with slow, shaky fingers brushing over the staff's handle. It gave him something to hold on to, some sort of power. Some sort of purpose. He gripped it tightly. It felt wrong in his hands. He couldn't control it, all he could do was shoot blasts of energy from it. What was the point in a weapon he couldn't use properly? Maybe if he had been able to control it better, the Destroyer might have been able to keep Thor dead and avoid this urgent, impending disaster.

But if Odin got killed back in that room, he'd be stuck with it forever. Stuck being inadequate, even to himself. Kill Odin, and he'd be forever on the run until Thor came and killed him. He'd find a way. Even if Thor had to track through worlds, Thor would find him.

Killing Thor ... he didn't regret that. He only regretted failing. Thor had to die, now that he knew the truth. The truth would ruin Loki, turn what precious few he had left against him.

He wanted to kill Odin too, for being so heartless. But Odin was different, different to Thor. Thor was brutal, aggressive, arrogant... Odin was none of those things. Loki's thought's flittered back to the chamber, when Odin had told him of his true parentage. The gleam in the Alfather's eye... it was manipulatable. Sentimental. It could be compromised.

If Odin died, the Frost Giants would get their power back. War or no war, it didn't benefit Loki in the slightest, just keeping them at bay for another few decades more. Was that really what he was killing a _king _for?

Personal vendetta aside, Loki looked at it afresh. Where was the gain in letting the brutes run wild? There was none. And it just gave Loki another dirty secret to cover up, that he had orchestrated it. Working with monsters...hadn't he wanted to prove he wasn't that? This...

He needed Odin alive, he realised breathlessly. But it was make or break now - either Odin or the Frost Giants.

Odin was a king, was manipulatable, weak... and Loki could use that. For Odin to live, the Frost Giants had to die - and how glorious would it be if Loki saved the Alfather's life? He could refuse Loki nothing! He might even send Thor back to exile if Loki could spin this all in a favourable light. Thor bargained with the Frost Giants to break his way back into the realm and steal the throne, so furious at his banishment...it sounded plausible. If Loki could make Odin belive Thor was so scorned to be robbed of his throne that he'd even conspire with the enemy to get it, however he could, then maybe everything wasn't so ruined after all.

He'd gone far, but maybe he could claw it back. Throw all the blame onto Thor. Odin might be more accommodating than Loki dared imagine as he remembered he and the Alfather's last encounter, back in the Casket's chamber. Odin must be desperate not to lose his only remaining son. How far would that desperation reach, to keep Loki close and happy, after all he'd put him through?

The idea gleamed in Loki's orbs. Summer or no Summer, he'd be safe again. It was livable. He'd have Odin and Frigga, and Thor out of the way... and if he wanted Summer too, he dared think he could still have her.

Resolve solidified inside him and closed his fingers around the staff, straightening his legs. There was solid purpose in his mind now.

Adrenalin surged through him and he strode forward, turning smoothly into the chamber with his intent clear in his mind. Instinct guided him into the room. His eyes stopped for a second scouring for blue; he found it instantly, knelt on the bed over Odin, poised to strike. Loki's heart froze in his chest.

"I hope it's true," the Frost Giant went on, hand with his ice dagger rising higher. Loki watched it with a quickening heart rate. "So that you may know you death came at the hand of Laufey."

He couldn't think. Panic clouded his mind. Then the weight of the staff must have reminded his body; he glismpsed the staff rise into his field of vision before it was replaced with a bright bolt of light, the weapon tugging back in Loki's hands slightly. It was a perfect aim: it tore the Frost Giant from the sleeping King, blasting him injured against the back golden wall of the royal chambers.

Then the world seemed to stop for a moment. Loki let out a shaky breath, lowering the staff numbly. He'd really done it. He'd saved Odin. He - the monster, the fake son, the one that had caused so much pain and destruction already... he'd done something good.

And that would buy him influence.

Warmth shot through him and he felt the urge to crack a breathless smile, but he was simply too astonished to act it out yet. His eyes flickered down to the side as they caught movement.

Frigga's wide, frightened eyes met him, glistening with tears. Loki felt his heart crack. Frigga... he never wanted to hurt her. She was the only one that had stood by him all the way, never once trying to do anything but give him happiness. How could he hurt that? She was the one person that gave him hope, even after he'd messed up so badly...

He'd just saved a life, he realised, turning back ahead to the sleeping King. Unharmed, he judged. And not just any life - Odin's. The life of a king. He'd saved the realm's ruler, the All Father. He was a hero. That would work out so well for him, in comparison to Thor, the banished son.

His eyes focused on the crumpled Frost Giant against the wall, watching the searing angry red coals for eyes stare with outrage and pain. Loki found it vile. Strength coursed through him as his hand firmed around the staff, just imagining how this must look to Frigga's eyes, saving his father at such a crucial moment, only making her more grateful than if he'd have interceeded mere moments before. The greater the desperation, the greater the relief...the greater the reward.

He coldly shut his emotions away and forced himself to focus on the benefit objectively. Feelings would do him little good if he couldn't get Summer back. But if he wanted a chance he had to be a hero greater than Thor, to deserve anything he asked for, even the banished mortal woman.

The words tumbled out his mouth before he could think about them, meeting his father's blood red eyes mercilessly. No - not his father; "And your death came by the son of Odin." he breathed.

The moment the words came out, Loki's frantic, broken heart seemed to clank back into focus. It ached in his chest, but he dared hope it was a good ache. a successful one. There was no time to change his mind again now. He'd chosen Odin over what Laufey could offer him. He'd forged this course - this one he _had_ to see this one through.

The Frost Giant's fist clenched and Loki acted on instinct; drawing the staff up again, Loki blasted before he could give it a second thought. The Frost Giant King scattered to ashes.

He resisted the urge to smirk, feeling the weight of his plans settle in his mind. It would happen: Odin would wake, all would love him, Thor would be sent back into exile and Summer would come back. How could it not? How could the king refuse Loki anything? He owed Loki his life.

There was still work to be done though before the King woke. There was armies of angry - now leaderless - Frost Giants still existing, for instance. Once their king did not return home... the revenge would be fierce.

Unless Loki could stop it.

"Loki!"

When had Frigga got up? he thought, lifting his eyes to the relieved goddess. He found he didn't really care as she ran straight into his arms.

He gasped a smile over her shoulder. He was being hugged. It had been a long time since he'd been hugged. His hand settled on his mother's back, as far as an embrace his scattered mind could summon; she was hugging him - she trusted him. Perfect.

"You saved him!" she gasped with relief against his chest.

It was all so well, just as he'd thought...she was grateful. So grateful. The goddess clung to him tightly, to her son who had saved the life of the king, their husband and father. He'd just saved their family. And that meant the most to Frigga. She would be putty in his hands now.

Maybe he could be Odin and Frigga's treasured son, basking in the glory that Thor once held. Maybe he could be the best, for once, instead of the charity project.

And what of Summer? While Loki planned his new, centred life, where did he put Summer in it? He didn't know yet.

A fresh start for both of them didn't seem so outragous. He could bring her back. They could raise her son together, pretend as he'd suggested that the boy was his if it protected the family's reputation. He didn't mind. He really didn't mind. If it kept him and Summer and the boy safe, did it really matter? Maybe he could marry her, so nothing could tear them apart again.

Everything was already slotting into place. He could imagine it; Odin staring at him with eyes glistening with pride and admiration, the same as Frigga's were when she'd ran to him. How wonderful would that be, would that feel? People would cheer for him, love him.

And the most important person. Summer. Her baby.

Saving Odin's life and protecting the realm so crucially in the king's absence would earn him Odin and Frigga's favour with all the comfort, sanctuary and happiness that came with it. He could have Summer, her son, and maybe this time he wouldn't have to steal or be forced onto the throne - he could naturally succeed it one day. And then his fate would be in his own hands for once. Everything could all fall into place to get him what he wanted.

He just had to remove witnesses to his treason. The Warriors, Heimdall, Laufey already dead with his followers soon to share his fate.. then there would be no proof Loki was anything but the hero he appeared to be.

Heimdall was frozen, and the Warriors were stuck on Earth as was Thor. The thunder god was defintatly the most potent threat though. Loki had to stop him coming back to Asgard. Keep him at bay until Odin woke, until Loki could poison the king's mind against his own son.

He had to get going; his hand found Frigga's shoulder and peeled her back slightly, so he could stare down at her soft, loving face. "I swear to you, Mother," he said, feeling a quiet passion rise in his voice as his adrenalin built. "That they will pay for what they've done today." For they'd only be a jeopardy if they didn't, if Loki didn't get rid of them.

He wasn't sure what to do yet, but he'd have to go to the Bifrost and work something out from there. A army? Could he summon that so quickly? He wasn't sure he had the patience to wait, let alone the time. He had to act quickly.

Perhaps he could simply seal the Bifrost off. Thor needed it to get home and the Frost Giants would need it to get into Asgard. Cut off the bridge, cut off the risk. At least until Loki had a better plan.

Then he remembered _- "to leave the bridge open would unleash the full power of the Bifrost and destroy Jotunhiem with you upon it." _Loki's eyes widened with realisation, plan forming quickly. So Heimdall was helpful after all. Loki could eliminate both risks at once. The Bifrost _was_ a weapon. And Thor couldn't use it if it was already open elsewhere.

Strand Thor, and kill the monsters, with no fight, no casualties and all the glory for himself. It was almost too perfect to be true.

All he had to do was get to the Bifrost - "Loki."

His heart sank in his chest instantly at the deep voice in the doorway. _Damn_. He couldn't fight the wave of anger that swept through his newly peaceful heart, tearing up the hope from seconds ago into tatters. Thor - here to ruin him yet again.

He didn't look to the doorway as Frigga did. He didn't want to see it for real yet. How had he gotten here so fast? It hadn't been long that he'd watched Thor die and come to life again, and yet he'd found a way back to Asgard already. He'd underestimated his brother. The god had come, out to expose Loki.

Frigga confirmed his nightmare: "Thor!" She flew from Loki's arms, sweeping up the stairs to her son. _Her only real son_, a curt voice in Loki's head reminded him. "I knew you'd return to us."

_As did I_, he agreed darkly in his head. _But I did not bargain it would be so soon. _Heimdall must have broken free, he reasoned. It was the only way the god could have gotten here. The Bifrost wasn't the only way into the realm, but it was the only one that took such a short time to use to get here. Trekking through the other paths would have taken Thor much, much longer. He was here, now. Thor was back for revenge.

_It didn't matter how he'd gotten here_, a voice inside Loki shrugged off. All that mattered was that he was here. All his good works would be ruined if Thor got his way.

He glanced up to the god in the doorway, wondering around the side of the bed. He was here to expose Loki - he could see it in the thunder god's dark, brooding eyes. It filled Loki with a burning hatred; Thor getting what he wanted yet again, at Loki's expense.

The thunder god gently prised the goddess from him, stepping forward to match Loki across the bed. Loki watched him calmly.

"Why don't you tell her," Thor's deep voice began, motioning to his mother in the doorway. His tone sounded so innocent, but Loki knew it wasn't to be. Thor was going to undo him, dramatically. How very _Thor; _"How you sent the Destroyer to kill our friends, to kill me?" he finally seethed.

Frigga gasped from the doorway, disbelieving, eyes falling to her younger son. "What?"

Loki swore in his head; Thor was ruining everything, again.

How could he defend this? Make out Thor was mad? He doubted that would work. Lying was definitely on the agenda. He was going to cling to his hopeful future for as long as he could. If it came to it, he'd have to kill Thor a second time. The numbness from before was gone. All that was left was desperation and hatred.

Again.

_Keep calm_, he told himself, willing his eyes to soften at his brother. "Why, it must have been enforcing Father's last command." he lied smoothly. It was plausable. _Please believe it_, he willed Frigga.

For him to be favoured he had to be faultless, innocent. Right now, Thor was going to wreck that entirely. But that was fine - he could work around that. _Innocent_, he echoed in his head. As long as he was innocent. Thor was the wrong-doer. He had to make this Thor's fault somehow. It was always his fault - it was just that Loki was the only one to see it.

"You're a talented liar, Brother." Thor threw back, head shaking darkly. Loki's heart sank. "You always have been."

_So that was how it was going to be... _

A small smile crooked at Loki's lips. "It's good to have you back." he crooned softly. _But you're not going to stop me this time_, he said in his head. He wouldn't let him. But he couldn't talk his way out of this one. Thor knew, and he wasn't going to be fooled. Loki had to get rid of him fast. He'd deal with his mouthy brother later, cover things up when it was easier. He was reminded of the dead Frost Giant king lying in ashed in the corner. Maybe he could deal with the rest of that problem instead of risking his plans so openly - "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to destroy Jotunheim."

Before Thor could reply - before he could do _anything,_ Loki raised the staff and blasted it, hitting the thunder god square in the chest. And he felt absolutely no guilt about doing it.

Thor's armour would protect him. He'd be injured at most. Loki doubted even that. He just needed him out of the way - to buy him some time.

Thor was gone from sight within seconds, a gaping, crumbling hole in the wall of the royal chambers betraying where he'd once stood. It didn't matter. Loki just needed to get him away from Odin and Frigga, before he could say anything else incriminating. Once the gods were alone, the truth would be whatever Loki said it was when he would tell it back to Odin and Frigga - he was determined to be the only witness left alive to say it so. Asgard gleamed through the palace wound at Loki, as if reminding him of his purpose. Summer's ashen face flickered through his mind.

He didn't have much time.

He turned and strode for the doorway, brushing past Frigga as he went. Cold intent was on his mind. He had to do this. This would end the interstellar war. After that would just be family issues. It could be contained.

Loki would deal with that later...

Small hands tugged on his sleeve and he paused as they pulled to hold him back. His angry, blazing eyes turned over his shoulder - right into Frigga's glistening ones.

His heart stopped in his chest.

Whatever he felt, whatever he did; he felt compelled to listen to the goddess. Her eyes shimmered up at him, fingers gripping at his clothes as if she could hold him there. "Please." she hissed, eyes glistening. Not with fear. Not with hatred. Just imploring to him, still full to the brim with love.

But Loki could see the pain there too. He was breaking her heart. "Thor's home, we're safe... there is no more need to fight." she breathed on. "Things can be as they were..."

_As they were... _Loki's jaw set. His mind honed in on his plan solidly in that moment, still staring into the goddess's dignified, but teary gaze. She'd tell him off if it would make a difference. But they were all beyond that now. Words wouldn't change anything. She'd been through so much already. His mother was strong but...but now all she could do was plea and hope that Loki listened, that her family would knit back together.

Loki was sad to be the one to refuse her. But it had to be done.

He wouldn't just be a shadow any longer.

"I don't want them to be as they were." he said coldly, shrugging himself free of his mother, stepping on to the doorway. "I want them to be better."

XXX

Summer was filled with an unexplainable sense of dread as she walked down the street with slow, sombre steps. She felt just as numb as the day she'd walked to the docks to drown herself.

Two things were different now though; two things kept her alive.

The baby in the Moses basket she carried.

And the mermaid necklace around her neck, glinting in the moonlight. It hung proudly at the swell of her chest, just above her neckline. The silver metal looked stunning against her pale, porcelain skin. The same way it had back in Asgard, when she'd had a very different life.

Her heart thudded strong and determined as she walked, eyes blazing ahead. She didn't think there was much that could stop her now. She had nothing more to lose.

All that filled her mind was thoughts of a better life. Of making it better. Of being better. Loki didn't deserve someone like her, someone who'd just let another man kiss her unquestionably when he'd come back to fulfil his promise. What sort of a monster did that make her? She was detestable next to Loki, so sweet, so kind. He'd defended her honour when he'd found out what Thor had done to her, he'd been her shoulder to cry on, kept her secrets as his own, cherished her like no one ever had before and probably never would again.. and she'd just thrown that all away. No, she didn't deserve Loki.

But that didn't mean she was going to stop trying.

If nothing, she wanted to see Loki to say sorry. If he wanted nothing to do with her then that was fine. But she had to try. Loki had offered her the promise of a new life before, lifting her out of the darkness. Maybe he could do it again.

Even though she didn't deserve it. Loki had given her one second chance in her life already. Was it really right that he offer her another? After all she'd done...

She couldn't just give up though, she shook her head, shaking the dark thoughts away. The necklace was cold against her skin, chilled by the night air, but she was glad of it; she wanted to know it was there. To feel it. Loki had given her this necklace, had put it on her. Her eyes fluttered - she could still remember the gentle brush of his fingers on her skin as he'd put it on her.

The breath hitched in her throat; that had been the day of their first kiss.

No, she didn't deserve Loki, but by God he was the best thing that had ever happened to her and she couldn't just let that go! She needed him. More than she could say.

Her heart thumped so hard with guilt and terror and pleading that it hurt but she didn't care as she picked up her stride to a soft run. It was like the further she got from David, the closer she got to Loki. And the necklace... it felt like she was carrying a part of him with her, like a promise. A promise she'd see him again.

Her eyes clouded with tears. The thought of facing the darkness again without him as just too much. She wanted to be with Loki, to raise Ewin with him calling Loki his father. She didn't want to be alone. She couldn't be alone.

_Loki_, she breathed in her head, as if he could hear her in whatever far off realm he was in. Her eyes lifted to the sky scanning the stars as if anyone of them could be him, looking down on her. If he could see her trying. If he could see her with the necklace... maybe he'd give her another chance. She prayed he would. She prayed a part of him still loved her. _Please don't do anything you'll regret_, she prayed.

_Wait for me._


	14. Chapter 14

_"Morning will come  
And I know we'll be one  
'Cause I still believe  
That you'll remember me..."_

**Chapter 14**

Everything was smooth and efficient, not a moment to waste; Loki opened the Bifrost, feeling the hum of the machinery echo around the chamber. It was working. The Bifrost was soaring to Jotunheim, already set to too high a power. It would blast upon impact, with the Jotuns helpless to do anything about it. It wouldn't take long, he thought, until the planet was destroyed.

But he couldn't just sit back; Thor would be coming, would do all he could to stop it. Loki couldn't let him.

How though? Was there even a way to secure the Bifrost? Not one that he knew of. There had to be a way he could protect it from Thor though. There had to be. He ran through all the magic he knew of but none of the duplications and transportations could help him now.

He cursed in his mind. He didn't have long. He just needed a way to freeze the machinery in place, to hold the Bifrost open...

Suddenly, his eyes lit up: _freeze_.

His heart sank.

He couldn't believe what he was about to do, but he couldn't see another way. He couldn't lose this. His vengeance stretched across the galaxy, and it would consume Jotunheim. Nothing could stop that. Not even Thor.

It had worked so well before...but how had he done it? He brought his hands in front him, fingers flexing, testing, as he stared down at them with gritted teeth. How could he do it? Last time, it had just happened. It had been instinct. Instinct...that was hardly helpful. His hands stayed empty.

Taking the Casket, to use it... it was like accepting what he really was. Embracing it. It made him feel filthy inside.

But for Summer... to keep her safe...

He'd wrestle with his conscience later, when the Jotun's were dead, when Thor was out of the picture and when Summer and her son were under his arm. For now, he had no choice. He had to do this, or risk everything.

He was not going to do that now. He was going to fight with everything he had. He had nothing to lose anymore. It was either this future... or there was no future.

He screwed his eyes shut and surrendered to his instincts. He had no choice. His heart thudded hard, pumping hot blood around his body. _No_, he corrected himself, _cold, not hot_. Frost Giants were cold. He thought of the blue form he's seen himself to be, the red eyes of the monster in the royal chambers now his. He breathed out a shaky breath and felt like a frost was running over his lips. It felt like ice was running through his veins. Chills ran over him, and his skin tingled, as if goosebumps were rising over his arms. But they weren't. The blueness, however...

He gasped a breath as a heavy weight suddenly bowed abruptly into his hands, snapping his eyes open. _Gods_... he'd done it.

And he didn't have time to celebrate.

The Bifrost raged on, the sound rising in pitch as it started to lose its control, building to disastrous heights. _Good_, Loki breathed. And now he had the Casket. When it was all over, he could just throw it into the portal path, to die with the race it belonged to.

He gritted his teeth and focused - and gasped as ice suddenly chipped against his hands, flaking from the chilled blast as it flew from the Casket. His eyes snapped open - in time to watch the mechanics that kept the Bifrost working get coated in thick ice, sealing them in place. There was nothing that could stop it now.

A shaky breath left him as the ice creaked, groaning quietly as it solidified. And held. Loki felt his heart harden with it, bracing himself.

Thor would be coming. Would try to ruin everything, keep Summer away, be the golden boy yet again...Loki couldn't let that happen. He felt it so violently in his system that his fists trembled at his sides with rage as the Casket evaporated from his hands. For Summer, he had to do anything.

He turned to the doorway of the chamber and saw a flicker of red hovering over the bridge. Moving closer. Thor was here already. It took seconds...

"You can't stop it." he spat instantly as Thor slowed from his flight, righting himself and stepping inside. His eyes were rivetted on the frozen mechanisms of the Bifrost. _Of course_, Loki thought, _he doesn't understand. He doesn't know what I am. _"The Bifrost will build until it rips Jotunheim apart."

Then there would be no monsters. Nothing. Nothing to remind Loki he wasn't just like everyone else, nothing to show Summer that there was anything else he could be. There would be no monsters trying to chase him down in vengeance for their leader. Summer would be safe. If only Loki could do this one thing.

Thor didn't understand though. The confusion was blinked out of the god's orbs as he rushed forward to destroy the ice the only way he knew how: smash. His hammer raised over his head as he ran forward.

Loki beat him to it - he blasted Thor back before the hammer could even descend. The god crashed unceremoniously onto his back.

Loki didn't even glance at his brother. His eyes shot to the Bifrost, to the ice, checking with a sweeping gaze that everything was intact. No cracks, no damage... Loki couldn't afford for this to go wrong. Just this one thing. This one last step in his plans, get rid of the thunder god and Summer could return without any barriers.

Thor picked himself up, rising to his feet. "Why have you done this?" He sounded horrified. And angry.

Well... why had he done it? There was no question in Loki's heart: "For Summer." he hissed back furiously. Here stood the source of all his problems, asking him why! "To prove to Father that I am a worthy son. When he wakes, I will have saved his life, I will have destroyed that race of monsters, and I will be true heir to the throne!"

It sounded so simple when he said it like that. Maybe it was that simple. Kill the Frost Giants, the king indebted to him...he could have what he wanted in return. And what he wanted was Summer.

"All that will be left will be to keep Summer safe from you!" he finished coldly, knuckles white from gripping the staff so hard.

It was like Thor didn't hear. Missing the 'big picture' as the phrase went: "You can't kill an entire race!" he spelled out, emphasising each word carefully. Patronisingly. Like he was speaking to a child, speaking down to him...

_No_, Loki growled in his head. He'd come so far and done so much when all Thor had done was get himself banished. Loki was better than him, not the other way around. He wasn't going to be second best, second rate, second priority anymore - Thor would be the child. Not Loki. Now he was the one doing the speaking down.

"Why not?" The smile gasped on his face with his words and a part of Loki was appalled at himself. He pushed it aside for the irony; "And what is this new found love for the Frost Giants? You ...could have killed them all with your bare hands."

_And would have_. Loki still remembered that first visit to Jotunheim, flashing in his mind as he wandered down the steps from the frozen mechanics. Thor's savagery... he was almost tempted to say Thor hated the monsters more than anyone, but...

But that simply wasn't true anymore. Loki got that priviledge

"I've changed."

Loki scoffed inwardly. Changed - sure. Why was he here in Asgard at all? To reclaim his throne, to pull himself to the top again. Not for Loki's sake, or for Odin's, or for Summer's, or the Frost Giants - for himself. Thor still wanted to be the golden boy, to be king, to conquer to Frost Giants himself, and keep Summer far away to pretend like she didn't exist. No, Thor hadn't changed. Not enough.

"So have I." Loki breathed. Thor was just as dangerous as the Frost Giants, he told himself in his head, snapping the heel of the staff across the god's face. Thor didn't move. "Now fight me."

Perhaps he could kill him after all, Loki thought. It would be easier than dealing with him later, now that he was already here! There was no one but he and Thor in the chamber, no one to know what happened, no witnesses... there could have been a lingering Frost Giant that caught the thunder god off in his arrogance. Thor would be tragically killed.

And Loki would be innocently in the clear.

Anger surged through Loki's limbs as the blow struck his brother, waiting for him to respond. This was Thor - he always responded.

There was only one way to get rid of this adrenalin now and it was in beating Thor, in breaking each other until one came out victorious. They couldn't both live through this. There was no place for both of them. And Loki wanted to beat his brother down, to tear him apart as he'd been denied on Earth by Thor's oh-so-noble sacrifice. _Fight!, _Loki yelled in his head, teeth gritted in outrage; Thor didn't move.

Loki lashed out with everything he had, and Thor went flying, skidding away. He would have been surprised at his own strength if he wasn't so blindingly angry. _Get up_, he willed. _Get up and fight!_

Seeing Thor slide across the floor, as if he were so helpless, was just ... vile to Loki. This was a god - one who prided himself on being a warrior - and yet Thor was getting tossed around like a rag doll. _Maybe because he knows he's wrong_, a voice in Loki's head chipped. _Maybe he knows this is what he deserves. _Still, the weakness as he just let himself get thrown around..it just made Loki even more furious.

"I never wanted the throne!" It was effort not to just scream the words, as he strode across while Thor picked himself up. "I only ever wanted to be your equal."

The right to love who he wanted - was that too much to ask? He'd only done all this, take the throne, plan murder, all for that. For Summer.

His heart balked as thoughts of Summer skipped through his mind, but this time something kept his fury and his heart separated. He didn't let it cool his anger this time...only drive it.

This time Thor didn't disappoint as he stood; a hard anger blazed in eyes. "I will not fight you, Brother!" He yelled, knuckles around Mjolnir white.

"I'm not your brother." Loki breathed across the chamber, though he knew Thor heard it clear as day. "I never was."

Loki was just a Frost Giant and if Thor hated the Frost Giants like he used to then why the hell wasn't he just killing Loki?! They both needed the other out of the way. Thor couldn't take throne without Loki gone. Hell, he wouldn't be able to even live for that moment without Loki gone. Loki wouldn't stop. And with Thor here, Summer could never safely return, her or her son.

It would all be over for them-

"Loki, this is madness."

_Madness_... wanting to save the life of the one he loved was madness? _So be it, _Loki thought grimly. As long as it made Summer happy, gave her and her son a better life, it didn't matter what his actions looked like to the outside world. He didn't care.

He was just trembling with rage; of all people Thor should understand. "Is it madness?" Thor always chose battle over diplomacy. If there was an enemy, simply kill it, the thunder god's logic ruled. That was all Loki was doing. How could Thor not see that? "Is it?" His fists were shaking. "_Is it?!" Because it's not about him_, a voice answered in his head. That was why Thor didn't understand. Because it didn't benefit him.

No... Loki could hardly contain his rage at the god, wanting nothing more to pulverize him with everything he had. Thor had taken everything Loki had away from him and now he was patronising him for trying to get it back. How dare he!

His words came out in a rush, just rambling, control slipping as his anger started to gain influence inside him. His heart just burned, with hurt and hate. "Come on. What happened on Earth to turn you so soft?" Nothing had happened to him. Three days, and Thor had changed that much!? Nothing had such impact on Thor but booze, battle and women. Then Loki's thoughts remembered the woman who had run to Thor's side. _Her... _"Don't tell me it was that woman." he spat.

That would just be wrong. Thor discover a moral heart because of 'falling in love' and yet here he was stopping Loki from enjoying the same luxury, from being in love. How could he deny him?!

_Of course_, a voice chipped in his head, _it was all about Thor_.

The expression on the god's face was obvious as Loki mentioned her and it drove the rest of the stake into his heart. Thor's jaw gritted firmly, his eyes hardening. _It was ... it was her..._

"Oh," Loki's voice was trembling with rage. It even misted in front of his face with the cold, but he didn't care. "It was!" Thor had destroyed Loki's life by taking away his love. Maybe he could do the same to Thor, so Thor really knew what it felt like... "Well, maybe, when we're finished here, I'll pay her a visit myself!"

The only warning he got was a light shake of Thor's head, the denial in his eyes, before the god hurled himself forward, roaring with rage. At last.

Loki flew with him.

The hammer and staff met with an almighty metallic clang, bursting with light as they clashed. Thor's sheer bulk was too much though; he forced Loki back and crashed him into the ground.

Loki reacted instantly. He was not losing now, not going down. He kicked Thor off him and the god rolled away roughly, Loki wasting no time rising to his feet. He caught a glimpse of Thor's wide eyes as the god rolled onto his back and caught Loki's staff looming over him, ready to slam down any second. Loki's rage growled from him like an animal, but he didn't care. The only thing he noticed were the wet tears on his cheeks, and for the mortal woman he was fighting and shedding them for...

Thor dodged the blow and swept at Loki's legs with his hammer. _Too slow_, Loki realised of himself as he crashed heavily down to the floor. His anger was blinding him, making him clumsy.

Instinct lifted the staff as Thor's hammer came down, barring it from hitting the god beneath. The sound and light blared out incredibly.

The greatest difference between the two was highlighted in a second; Thor's strength. Loki could feel his arms trembling already with the effort of holding back the Thunder God from trying to crush him, his strength just mind blowing... he had to break out some how, break out of this weak hold.

_Think,_ he urged himself, trying to sharpen his senses. Think. He caught Thor's body undefended, his mind only focused on the hammer. Loki kicked up into Thor's belly, staggering him back.

It was all he needed to be up on his feet again.

He cried out as he thrust the staff at Thor, not sure if he was shouting for battle or for the pain in his heart. All that was in his head was thoughts of Summer..

Mjolnir blocked the staff from hitting its owner, and as it crashed down on him from above a second time, Loki was more prepared; the staff blocked as before but Loki rolled the hammer off it, striking Thor on the back with it as the move and momentum forced the god to turn. It sent him sprawling.

Thor's exposed back was too great a target and Loki leapt forward, staff in both hands. He was ready to crush Thor, however he could.

He growled in his head when Thor rolled away again, quickly getting to his feet. Why wouldn't he just die! Loki would not let him win this. Still, he cursed in his head as the staff stayed lodged in the floor, unmoving. Without a weapon, how could he hope to defeat Thor? He ducked backwards to avoid Thor's blow.

A second one came back instantly. Loki's hands firmed around the staff as the hammer moved back into sight and he swung himself round on the implanted weapon, kicking out with his legs. He kicked his mark, square in Thor's chest. He even laughed triumphantly as Thor staggered back, and the staff nudged itself free from the chamber floor.

Loki wasted no time in bringing it down on his brother. Thor blocked and defended well, but Loki forced himself to focus. He knew Thor's fighting style. The longer it went on the angrier he got. And the angrier, the sloppier. He just had to hold on to his focus and wait for Thor to get tired, for him to get clumsy... then it would be not a battle at all when the final end came.

Then Thor pulled some sharp moves of his own, grabbing Loki's staff and pulling him forward - while his elbow smacked back into Loki's face.

Seconds later, Loki gasped for breath as he soared through the air. It was knocked out of him as he smacked down on the floor hard from Thor's throw.

His mind raced, hearing the metallic ring of the hammer behind him, telling that Thor was closing the gap. He couldn't block that from a stand still. His fingers grabbed at the staff manically as he stood, turning. _Blast, _he thought willingly. Literally. The light bubbled at the end of the staff, mere seconds before it -

Thor crashed into him.

He held back a groan as they broke through the wall and Loki knew how Thor had felt back in the royal chamber as the structure broke against his back. Thor didn't stay with him as they flew helplessly through the air, both hitting the hard, merciless surface of the rainbow bridge separately.

_There was no control of this_, Loki thought with panic as he literally bounced off the hard bridge, rolling wherever velocity took him. He'd better hope he was going down the bridge straight or else-

He glimpsed Thor splattering solidly against the Bifrost as he landed, Loki's eyes hardening. Brute force was Thor's strength, he realised, watching how his brother didn't bounce the way he did. What were Loki's strengths? What could he use in his favour?

_Magic_, he realised with widening, hopeful eyes.

"Thor!"

XXX

David didn't know what made him wake up. He must have rolled in his sleep, arm searching for Summer to hold. His cheek had nuzzled into the pillow beneath for another moment before he'd realised she wasn't there.

For a moment, he wasn't concerned, just curious. His eyes peeked open drowsily. Maybe she was just feeding Ewin, or had gone to the bathroom, he told himself.

"Summer?" His voice was muffled but still loud enough to be heard. He tried again though, when he got no answer. "Summer?"

Silence.

He shifted up on his shoulder, balancing between lying on his side and lying on his back. His hand pushed back his ruffled eyes from his eyes, peering sleepily around the room for Summer. She wasn't beside him. She wasn't anywhere, he realised, staring around the dark room. What time was it?

He pushed himself upright, something pricking at the back of his neck. He had a bad feeling about this. The frown clung in his brow.

"Summer!"

His voice echoed around the house, not just around the room. Still, no one answered him. Not even Ewin's cooing.

He scrabbled to be free of the sheets in a second.

It took minutes to realise what had happened; Ewin's basket was gone from the living room, his bag was gone, food was scattered around the kitchen, what she hadn't been able to take with her...Summer had gone. She'd left.

David stood in the living room, breathing heavy. His fists clenched. Why? Why did she go? Didn't she trust him to take care of her? Did she feel guilty? She didn't need to - David just wanted to see her happy. He didn't want anything in return. Well, he wouldn't mind one thing..

His fists clenched and he yelled out as their kiss fluttered through his mind. That was it! He'd blown it by moving too fast, by going for it like he had!

How stupid - how selfish, he thought angrily. His eyes lifted to the dark window; now Summer was out there... gone.

And alone.

What chances did she have alone out there?


	15. Chapter 15

_"Oh, I still believe  
That you'll remember me..."_

**Chapter 15**

_Magic_, Loki thought coldly and mercilessly as his brother spun around, the hand of the doppelganger melting through his fingers from where Thor had knelt to rescue his dangling 'brother'. Loki jabbed the sparking end of the staff into the thunder god as the realisation hit his face, understanding he'd been tricked.

Thor was no match in a game of wits. All he had was brute, blunt force, good only for smashing and destroying. Against Loki's cunning, he didn't stand a chance.

Triumph washed through Loki's viens as he thought so, watching his brother grunt more out of surprise as the attack made his armour glow with heat upon impact - getting hit by Loki was obviously something that never crossed his mind. No doubt, he'd be so sure he could win.

_Not this time_, Loki thought mercilessly in his head. Magic and deception were his specialities - why not use them to his advantage?

Thor wrenched the staff away from his torso, but the power coursed through his skin instead and blasted him hard onto his back. _Yes_, Loki thought, watching his brother just lie there helplessly on the bridge. This was his speciality. This would win it all for him. Magic rippled through his system. That felt more natural than the ice had.

He let it flow freely. Clones materialised at his sides, echoing his laughter in a triumphant, taunting melody. _That's it_, he thought confidently, he could win like this. Summer would be safe.

If he finished it.

If he finished Thor; all the clones raised their staffs, aiming down at the God of Thunder, ready to kill.

But Thor wasn't beaten yet.

"Enough!"

Lightning struck down, meeting the hammer Thor aimed to the skies, and the clones fizzled to nothing before their blows could strike.

Laughter was replaced with a scream as Loki was knocked back. Pain burned everywhere as the electricity jolted through his system, blasting him back from the thunder god. It threw him back effortlessly, numbness freezing Loki's limbs, his mind aware of nothing but the brilliant, blinding light that burned him from the lightning bolt.

The staff was knocked out of his tingling fingers, and Loki listened to it's heavy clatter, not far away as his back hit the bridge, knocking the breath out of him.

Now it was his turn to just lie there, stunned.

For a moment all he could do was breath, trying to pull back the strands of his mind. His body was heavy, as if he was made of lead. Just rolling his head seemed like an incredible amount of effort. He groaned.

His chest ached with every breath he sucked in, but it was all he could think to do, his most basic instinct to stay alive kicking in. He stared up with wide eyes, waiting for his body to absorb the pain. He couldn't lie here. In the back of his mind, he knew he had to get up and fight...

But, gods, how could he do that?

Numbly, Thor wondered into his vision, a towering sight of majesty as he loomed over his brother. Loki loathed it. But he could barely breath, let alone think and speak, his heart racing like a wild thing...

He couldn't move - was Thor going to kill him? He didn't have the power to even process that thought, his mind scattered. What had that shock done to him? If Thor wanted him dead, he was in prime to kill him now, and Loki knew he should care but... all he could do was think, knowing what was going to happen, what he was prepared to happen. But he didn't feel anything. Thor was going to kill him... and he didn't feel anything.

All he knew was that Thor was going to kill him. Cowardly as it was while Loki was down, Thor had no reason not to. Loki watched him with cold eyes, still gasping for breath.

And Thor just stood there.

Loki could see the idea playing in the thunderer's mind - Loki wouldn't stop. He was never going to stop and Thor knew that. Death was the only way.

_End it_, he half wished in his mind. _Get it over with._ Standing over Loki, just staring at him when both knew the only way to end this was in death, Thor was mocking him. If he was going to kill Loki, then what was he waiting for? He couldn't dream of a better chance than this.

Summer flittered through Loki's head and he clung to her, wanting - no, _needing_ - to remind himself why he was enduring this. He wanted her face to be his last thought. Everything had been for Summer, no matter what she'd done, no matter what _he'd _done - all for her and that precious little boy that Loki would never know. Never rescue. He'd failed them.

The thought hung gravely in his mind and the breath stilled in his chest as Thor leaned down. _Kill me_, Loki suddenly willed. He didn't want to think of what he'd condemned Summer and her boy to in his failure.

Would they survive? Now he prayed she'd stayed with that man, so someone could be there to care for her, even if it wasn't him. What if Thor and Odin sought vengence on her? Loki had acted to protect Summer, that had been no secret. What if they went after her?

Loki's eyes widened: _no -argh!_

The thoughts were chased out of his head by another bout of pain as what felt like the weight of the universe settled on his chest, knocking what little breath he had left out of his body.

His eyes shot back to reality - and found Thor's. Leant down, placing Mjolnir square on his brother's chest, Thor's eyes were burning and accusing. His teeth gritted as he set the hammer down hard on Loki's chest -but not enough to kill him. His orbs were bitter: _you did this_, they said vehemently.

Loki's teeth gritted as the full weight of the hammer was abandoned on his chest, Thor straightening up and... leaving him? Why was he leaving him?

He wasn't that much of an idiot. He couldn't leave Loki there forever and the moment Loki was free he would be fighting again. There was no peace to be found between them.

A quiet groan left Loki's lips - the hammer was crushing him.

It drove nearly everything on his mind, thoughts of his retreating brother replaced with pure pain. It really was crushing him. Drawing in breaths hurt as his ribs battled with expanding lungs and the restricting hammer, fighting against the other.

His head lifted ... then thudding back down. Gods, this was torture. Thor couldn't kill him himself so he was just leaving Loki to crush to death?

"Coward." Loki spat as his hands shakily rose, limbs still heavy from the shock. They trembled so violently with pain and effort, it was a miracle when they finally settled on their target, fingers closing around either side of the hammer head.

He wasn't going to die like this. He wasn't. He was going to go down fighting or he would get up and beat Thor. Those were the only two options in his head.

But he couldn't lift it.

Nobody could.

His fingers couldn't grip as well as he'd hoped and brushed uselessly over the hammers handle. How hard could it be to simply close his fingers?

Very, was his answer, as his hands refused to obey him.

His eyes travelled beyond himself and to Thor, watching his brother. Not retreating - staggering towards the Bifrost. Loki's heart froze in his chest: gods, what had he done to it? It was all destroyed, the power grown too much for even them to control. Plates of the chamber broke away, tumbling into the blast of the Bifrost, carrying it to another world. It was tearing itself apart.

Loki had frozen the inside, there was no way to stop it. Watching Thor stagger though, how his feet skidded on the bridge as the energy tried to suck him in, Loki realised no one could even get close enough to stop it manually anyway.

Thor couldn't. The god just stood there, staring, and Loki knew he must be burning knowing he was helpless, knowing he couldn't stop it.

A victory for Loki at last.

"Look at you." Loki shuddered, trying to keep his breaths steady so his voice didn't tremble. He spoke quietly, but still Thor heard him, turning as he spoke. Loki didn't stop, the dark look in Thor's eye only spurring him on. "The mighty Thor." Loki's teeth gritted as the pain started to set in, his voice straining. "With all your strength." he forced out. "And what good does it do you now, huh?"

On the last note, his will broke and he groaned hard, head falling back against the bridge. The hammer really was just going to crush him to death at this rate.

Thor was the only one who could take it off... but he was still watching the chamber, even though he couldn't stop it. Loki needed his attention. To rile him. Enough to want him to fight Loki again, to take the hammer off his chest somehow, just so Loki wouldn't die in such a pitiful way. Dying wouldn't help Summer. Not like this.

The thunder god still didn't move though.

"Do you hear me, brother?!" Loki called down, his voice rasping with effort. "There's nothing you can do!" _Nothing,_ he thought, _so fight me._

His lungs gasped instantly for breath as suddenly the weight on his chest lifted and he heard the metalic zing as the hammer flew back to it's master. _So Thor was going to fight again_, Loki thought with an inward gasping grin. _Excellent._

Then the first thud shook the bridge.

Horror washed through Loki though he didn't dare move, didnt't dare think. Where was Thor? Thor should be marching back to Loki, grabbing him up by the scruff of the neck and tossing him further down the bridge so they could carry on fighting. But he wasn't. Another thud shook the bridge.

Loki lifted his head numbly, heart contracting in his chest. _He couldn't be_, he though disbelieving in his head, _he couldn't..._

But then Loki sat up, and saw that he was: Thor lifted the hammer high in the air - and smashed it down against the bridge, cracking its shattering surface even more. Ice flooded through Loki's system, just stopping his heart with pure horror.

He was ... destroying the bridge...

His hand reached out before he could realise it. "What are you doing?" he gasped, numbly. He couldn't be seeing this, this couldn't be real...

Thud after thud shook the rest of the bridge though, and convinced him it was. All his mind could process were simply throughts of the horrible reality. Thor was beating down the bridge. He was going to destroy it. All for the Jotuns' sake...

_But I don't care about them_, Loki growled in his head, teeth gritting. _I care about Summer. _

His fist curled furiously. "If you destroy the bridge you'll never see her again!" he screamed hysterically. _And I'll never see Summer!, _he thought with heart stopping panic. _No!_

He'd done too much, worked too hard...he loved her too much - he was not going to let Thor ruin it like this! Banishing her was one thing but destroying the bridge... he would never see Summer again. He felt himself trembling as he rose to his feet, the realisation hitting him hard. Never... never see her again...

That was too much to ask for. Thor would sacrifice Summer for those monsters?! Now Thor had pushed him too far.

_No_, Loki thought numbly, wild eyes locked on the destroying heathen ahead, _no..._Suddenly, the staff was back in his hand. He had to stop him. That was all that was going through Loki's mind - he had to stop Thor!

He didn't decide to run. He was working on instict now. There was no time for thinking. Staff in hand, he ran toward the imploding chamber, desperate, willing to do anything to stop the thunder god in his madness. It had to be madness. How could he...

Thor didn't stop. He didn't even turn, not even noticing Loki as his brother stormed towards him with pure violent intent. He brought the hammer down on the bridge.

It wouldn't last much longer, Loki realised with horror. The cracks were deep, so deep... but as long as it didn't break, it would be salvagable.

He had to stop Thor.

He felt the suction of the imploding chamber drawing him in and he let it carry him ever faster, bringing him just paces within the god. Paces. There was no idle fighting now - Loki struck to kill.

He was close enough to hear Thor speak, hearing his brother's voice over the strained grating of the Bifrost.

"Forgive me Jane."

The hammer rose and Loki leapt, desperate. He brought his staff up too, ready to plung it down into his brother, to strike him dead.

Loki screamed in outrage -

Then the world exploded.

The hammer struck down, and that was all Loki had time to realise before he was thrown back and everything span out of control. Colour, and noise, and force was wild, everything spinning, moving out of control.

He clung to the staff, the world a crazed mass of confusion as he span helplessly through the air, against the bridge - he didn't know.

He didn't dare let go of the staff.

And then the staff suddenly jolted to a halt, and Loki's fingers grappled to cling on. He felt the weightlessness beneath him, the pull in his shoulder of holding himself to the staff.

Slowly, the sense of gravity and ..well, sense of everything started to come back as the world stilled. He blinked his eyes furiously. Suspended. He was suspended in the air, dangling from the staff beneath the Bifrost, seeing the jagged, ruined ends of the bridge where the chamber had used to stand. His heart froze in his chest. It was destroyed... the bridge was destroyed...

The staff was all that kept him from falling into the void below, following the golden chamber and the portal with it. The portal that was spinning from world to world as it fell.

Maybe to Summer's world.

He didn't dare look down. Loki didn't dare... so he looked up instead. He looked up right into his brother's face, glistening eyed, panting - and unside down.

The thunder god held onto the other end of the staff, completely hanging himself from -

Loki's heart stilled completely as he saw Odin, holding onto Thor's boot. Holding them both up, he realised. The wizened Alfather was all that kept his two only sons falling into the abyss.

Abyss - or far away worlds if they were lucky enough to fall into the path of the still streaming Bifrost.

The look of sad disappointment in Odin's eyes was unmistakable... and Loki just knew. Without Loki having to say a word, without Thor having to say a word - Odin knew that whatever had happened had been Loki's doing. Perhaps he really had been able to hear in the Odinsleep; if he had heard Loki's discontent with Frigga, the exchange between him and Thor...

The exchange alone would have condemned him. The Destroyer comment. A lie. Believable to anyone else... except its former master. Odin would have seen through that, and once he doubted Loki on that then everything else was endangered.

_No_, he corrected in his head, unable to take his eyes away from Odin's. Not endangers - over. It was over. He'd failed.

Tears blinked at his eyes and he wasn't sure what he was upset about truly. Not seeing Summer again? For failing her and her child? Simply the shame of getting caught? Everything could have been perfect... but that was just a dream now.

"I could have done it, Father!" he shouted. Because he could have. He could have killed the Frost Giants, he could have protected the realm, protected Summer, he could have cared for her with pride... but now he'd never again get the chance. Summer was lost. Everything was lost... but he _could_ have done it. "I could have done it! For you!" He could feel his voice weaken and finally it faultered at the last note: "For all of us!"

_For Summer, _he clarified in his head. _She deserved better. She should be here..._ now she would never come here again. She was... gone.

Loki's eyes suddenly shone with hope.

Summer was gone - unless Odin could... with the staff, he could -

"No, Loki."

The words whispered from the Alfather's mouth so quietly, so ...sorry. Loki could hear it in his voice: he was sorry that this was happening.

But it was happening, and Loki's heart crashed at his father's words. _No_... then what was left for him? Summer had been all that sustained him and now, if she was truly gone...what was the point? Live alone? Prison for what he'd done? Scorned and hated by everyone? What kind of life was that..

When there was a nice tempting void to crush him below. Maybe that was better.

"Loki, no." Thor's voice warned.

Loki hadn't even noticed his fingers loosen around the staff, but Thor had. But even now he did notice it, Loki didn't stop. He didn't grip tighter.

He loosened.

Lifetime of lonesome misery...or a quick end? He knew which he prefered now, now that hope was completely lost, once and for all.

At least, it was here. In this realm. There was nothing left for him here now. Even if he could somehow get Summer, he had nothing but shame to offer her now, the shadow of his brother, forever cast down in scorn, and shame and torment.

But the Bifrost was still below. There was still a chance...if he got caught in its falling blast, he might have one final hope of reaching Earth.

And if he didn't he might as well die anyway. He didn't want a life if Summer wasn't in it.

His heart skipped a final beat, Loki closing his eyes softly.

_I'm sorry, Summer._

Then he let go.

**NOTE**

**Okay, here's the deal. I got sent some messages about this story that, quite frankly, had me spinning in a whirlpool of despair. For a while I could barely look at it I was so disheartened and even considered taking the story down.**

**But I didn't.**

**What I did do, however, was go over every single goddamned chapter and try to improve it. No major plot changes, just subtle things. A different thought here, a different motive there.**

**That's why it took so long to update. Sorry. I PRAY it won't happen again.**


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